DD college lanyard woes (ADHD)

[CampbellFairfax]

My DD is meant to wear a lanyard at college with her student pass in it - she needs it to get in/out of buildings, buy lunch etc. She has ADHD and lost/forgot it most days last year until she started keeping her pass in her phone case and all was well from then on.

Fast forward to yr13 and shes Head Girl and been told she has to physically wear the lanyard to lead by example. Day 3 and she’s lost it already and is distraught.

Anyone got any tried and tested tips or solutions to help?

Hyperfocus! People with ADHD can hyperfocus on special interests or in emergency situations. It’s not her fault. That is how her brain works.

OP - what about an AirTag on the lanyard? Or a picture of the lanyard on the back of her phone? Or a written checklist on her phone or pencil case of important things to remember?

Aside from clipping to clothes instead of a lanyard, attach an AirTag for tracking it down. We have tags on so many of DD’s items. I have some on mine too. Anything we are prone to misplacing and desperately searching for repeatedly gets an AirTag.

no, this is not a sponsorship, just a mom living in a neurodiverse household doing whatever we can to get by.

For me, the combination of extendable lanyard and a Tile also on the lanyard works.

And at home I have a hook, very visible next to the front door, where I hang it up.

(I still need to call the Tile multiple times a week, but I have never since lost it.)

How very unkind. ADHD is defined as a disability for a reason. Children with ADHD grow up being told they are lazy and not good enough. it makes matters worse. What helps is practical suggestions that consider how the ADHD brain works.

My partners Air tags beep if leave ipad/keys behind when leave with his phone

If she can remember her phone every day, she could keep her lanyard next to it at home . Then when she picks her phone up in the morning, she needs to get into the habit of putting the lanyard on. The fact that she remembers her phone means that she's perfectly capable of making something into a habit. It just needs a bit of effort at first.

I don't think that was unkind. It pointed out that she managed to remember her phone every day so she is also capable of remembering her lanyard. That's a positive message, not a negative one.

But they manage because they do things like extendable lanyards and tiles and copies and working around it! There's no point doing life the hard way if there's an easier way. Of all the battles to fight in life, who in their right would pick "wears a lanyard the hard way" as a goal?

Also the irony of saying "she should just learn to do it" when OP is literally here to ask for advice on how to learn it.

Can she keep it in something like a ski pass holder? My kids used them in Year 7 while they were getting used to looking after so much stuff every day, and it was a lifesaver.
PS I hate a lanyard, they usually are made of some inflexible material which chafes necks. Men don’t care as they often have collars to take the strain.

What I find helpful for my DD at college is habit stacking. So we put the lanyard on the key peg thing in the hall so it’s in sight and whilst she gets her shoes on she also puts the lanyard on. It sounds weird but I honestly do find it helpful for myself! It can take some time to build it as a habit though but it might be worth a try? As an example I used to be terrible with my skincare would always forget, I started doing it whilst in the bathroom waiting for my bath/shower. I do it automatically now when I run the bath.

I hope she’s OK, it’s hard when you feel like everyone else has their shit together and you’re labelled as forgetful/disorganised. Well done to her for getting HG!

My similar daughter cost me a bloody fortune when she was at college - you got a £1 fine every day but it was only payable on parentpay of course 🫠

At uni now and she still loses every damn thing but it’s not my fault anymore (unless she’s home, then the jeans in front of her face on her bed have been “lost” because I lost them).

Wow well done to your daughter, very inspirational. My son is 10 and struggles with attention/memory but is very hardworking. He was at the brink of tears yesterday when he’d realised he’d left his homework book at school (new school this week). It was so frustrating but seeing his fear and disappointment made me realise we just need to find ways to build in safety nets and keep his confidence intact. He tries so hard - I really do relate to you.

what about something like this? clips through jeans belt loop, has a stretchy cord for dabbing on card readers...

ir sounds dismissive because it sounds line you are implying that forgetting her lanyard is laziness/lack of effort. People, especially young people, with ADHD have poor working memory and poor executive functioning. Remembering her phone and forgetting her lanyard does not demonstrate that she is not making an effort. From what the OP is saying, she cares enormously.

having said that your suggestion might work and is not unreasonable although I suspect she may need a physical checklist too . She will not just remember.

you have to remember that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder or difference si strategies that work for others do not work for people with ADHD .

Wear it around her neck and don't take it off.

I used to wear mine on one of these things - you can pull it away from your body if you need, for example, to scan it.

I have ADHD. All my work things live on a hook. I put them there as soon as I get home. They include my lanyard. When I’m about to leave the house, I go to the hook and take my work things. I always put them on/in in the same order and check by going through my list.

It sounds like the real problem is she doesn’t like the lanyard round her neck. I hate things round my neck and can’t even wear any clothes with a neck at all, but the ribbon on my lanyard is smooth and soft and I honestly don’t notice it.

So, could you investigate a new ribbon for it or even line it if it’s horrible material? Or pin it somewhere inside a pocket if you have to. The point is that the lanyard mustn’t be removed until she gets home. That way she can’t lose it. It’s the simplest solution I’ve found.

I sympathise. I’m a full grown adult and have never been able to adapt to wearing a lanyard as is now required in so many jobs.

https://www.life360.com/en-gb/tile-trackers/products/tile-sticker Not these ones but could she add a finder sticker to the back so she can find it more easily as well?

What a weird thing to say.

I would love to hear the logic behind this.

You tell her she is head girl and y13, if she wants to be Head Girl she wears the lanyard, if she doesnt want to wear it then let someone be head girl that does, its not just leading by example she should be wearing it anyway. these rules are to set them up for being in a place of work, what is she going to do if she has a clocking in card? her employer wont be to happy for her to keep asking for a replacement will they.

The logic being the lanyard is part of safe guarding it is to identify the students and the very least a HEAD GIRL should be doing is upholding standards, if they are not prepared to do so then they can let someone else have the position.

Nothing helpful to add except to congratulate her on having being made head girl - that's quite the achievement given how hard it is to just get through daily organisational tasks. It gives me hope for my ADHD daughter, who 6 days into her new secondary has already misplaced her planner, left three lunch bags at school and lost a house key...

Nope. The physical feeling of the lanyard around her neck could well be causing sensory issues leading to her taking it off at various times, which would explain why she loses it so often.

I wasn’t trying to be unkind, I’m just a bit fed up of the idea that we don’t need to try with some kids.