Is my mum allowed to pay for my weekly food shop?

[Smilingpeacock]

Hi,

my elderly mum has become obsessed with ‘off loading money ‘ before the government takes it. She gifts me 3k year etc, to be clear I don’t expect or need anything I am very grateful.

She now wants to start paying for my weekly food shop which is about £150 per week. We go shopping together every week and the plan from next week is for her to just pay both hers and mine shopping at the checkout. She seems to think that nobody will ever question this??

i’m always anxious about breaking the rules when it comes to. Money. Is her plan flawed?

@Ethelrogers we didn’t have to do any of that with my mum. She had done an equity release thing on her house so when we sold it she had approx two years worth of care home fees left … when she got down to the £23K the council just started paying it. Nobody asked to see any receipts or statements.

We had only just applied but the LA guidance said they would need to see proof of funds left and that the deprivation of assets department would be checking as part of the application.

Maybe LAs differ in process? The care home manager told me to expect them to be difficult.

Nothing is wrong. I said things can be looked into but probably won’t be. You came at that demanding I tell you how and what. Mentioning deprivation of assets and assessors when I didn’t say a thing about either of those. The ‘lol’ was at the fact you posted 3 times ‘pressing’ me, as if it was a ‘gotcha’ moment when all I said was it can be looked into, which is true, but probably wont be, which is also true. You seem to have taken my post to be something you need to challenge for proof which is quite funny.

HMRC

you are ‘allowed’ to help adult children with regular payments if they are struggling provided the money comes out of excess money ie money left over from your regular income, and does not lower your own standard of living 🤷. You can also gift her £3000 annually from savings.

It will just show up on her statement that she spent £250 (or whatever amount) in Tesco. It's not as if she's transferring money into your bank account, no one will ever question it or know that the groceries were for you.

It's not that simple you have to keep detailed records of income and expenditure to give gifts out of income and income is defined in a very specific way. Of course it may never be noticed but if you say it was gifts out of surplus income you will have to prove it to avoid paying IHT on them.

I'm in your mum's position. Realistically, if she's paying and there's no link to you, I can't see that there's any way that this would be picked up. It's just a payment to Tesco on her bank statement. If she hasn't spent more than her income there's really nothing to be picked up on.

I have helped my kids with some bills, but made it clear that I have to pay the bill, and not reimburse them after they've paid (say) a decorator. That way it's just an expense that I've paid which has no link to anyone, she which would be assumed to an expense of my own

I also pay towards my DGD's nursery costs. That I do keep a record of as it's a regular payment out of income, made to a nursery company so clearly not my own expense.

That's the last thing she should do. It creates a direct link to gifts to OP and will be picked up by HMRC or her LA within minutes.

Tax rules. You’re allowed to give £3k* a year tax free as a lump sum, but other ‘small’ cash gifts can be made out of income.

*and that hasn’t been increased for goodness knows how long!

If OP's Mum paid for her shopping it wouldn't show up on OP' bank statement.

No, don't do this. Your Mum is buying food items and giving them to you presumably put of her surplus income that can include savings interest or investment.

Do you have power of attorney ? If so, and it has been activated, you have to spend her money in her best interests. If asked you would have to explain why it was in her interests to pay for your food bill. And do keep all records of any payments made if this is so. It may not be and she is not under any POA.

If you mother had to go into a care home or need to pay for carers in her home she would be self funding. If her assets were given away then the local authority would question whether this had been done to avoid care home costs.

You need to read the rules on money and inheritance etc. But if POA read the guidance from the Office of the Public guardian.

Exactly who wouldn't want to help out their own DC if they had surplus income each month and they will already be hit hard by death taxes. I paid towards DGC nursery fees and for DD and DGC to come on holiday with me and I know many other parents who do the same. Nothing wrong with this.

For IHT purposes it is a gift and you would be expected to declare it on the IHT forms once she’s died, it may be exempt depending on the size of her estate and if it’s a gift out of income, but you’ll need her to keep records of her income and expenses to claim a gift out of income.

https://www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax/gifts

It is but HMRC don't like it in the last 7 years of your life. It's crazy. I'm in my 60s and well off so I give my children money every now and again and hope I do t die in the next 7 years. My income is actually quite low so I dont have a lot of excess to give them.

And the small cash gifts up to _250 can't be to the same person who gets the £3000

What local authorities can look at is if cash reserves have been whittled away but the person is asset rich. The person has to ‘owe’ the local authority for care costs they previously paid themselves. They owe it via the house usually.
But some local authorities will look closely at finances at this point.

I'm currently not getting any money from government so I'm doing a job on vinted and a bit of money from parents but I understand the struggle I say talk about it with family

I’d just say fuck em and get on with it . I know so many people working hard to give away every bean they have before death and this government takes it .

Yeah I have an 8 month old and pets and we only just moved so house needs doing and prices for stuff keeps going up

Better hope that state funded care still exists if your relatives need it then. I expect that it's on borrowed time - along with the universal state pension.

Fully understand that- I only made the point if the support for food did come from transfers.

Who knows.

But honestly, the way my dad was treated (and countless others are and have been, the things I’ve learned through the three year legal process have been shocking), working all your life to pay 1.5 - 2k a week to be mistreated isn’t working out well either, is it?

You can’t blame people for saying fuck that. Especially after they helped me with him. The things they saw in those care homes shocked them. Even the fancy one with lovely wallpaper and a grand piano in the lobby.

Care is the one thing I am hoping robots will take over, they would be a hell of a lot better than humans. Or assisted dying. My dad used to beg me to end his life when he still had lucid moments and was able to comprehend the horror.

My dad used to help with our nursery fees. He died before the 7 years was up for IHT purposes and it was never questioned. Surplus income. Other large gifts were included in the estate IHT purposes but not this.