Is my mum allowed to pay for my weekly food shop?

[Smilingpeacock]

Hi,

my elderly mum has become obsessed with ‘off loading money ‘ before the government takes it. She gifts me 3k year etc, to be clear I don’t expect or need anything I am very grateful.

She now wants to start paying for my weekly food shop which is about £150 per week. We go shopping together every week and the plan from next week is for her to just pay both hers and mine shopping at the checkout. She seems to think that nobody will ever question this??

i’m always anxious about breaking the rules when it comes to. Money. Is her plan flawed?

To be honest HMRC could see a change in spending and request bank statements if they investigate an estate. I doubt it would ever come to that, but ‘how would they know’?: the digital footprint you leave.

Nobody will ever question a weekly Tesco shop in the context of deliberate deprivation of assets, the very notion is farcical.

Inheritance laws

I would start by checking if she will be liable for IHT in the first place, as noted by a poster up thread.

They look until they find something - I have had clients investigated and you'd be shocked at what they know about you. However, as I clearly said I doubt it would come to that, or indeed even matter.

It’s called deprivation of assets and it would be the Council who would investigate. However they would only do this if they suspected funds had been diverted purely to avoid care fees, and nobody will query something like a Tesco bill. The Council are looking out for people who do things like transfer their house into their childrens’ names, giving away large amounts of money etc, and then saying that they can’t afford care costs so the Council need to pay.

They also have to prove that the person was giving away money purely to avoid future care costs, and that is hard for them to prove if the person is currently in good health.

Maybe try and get her to treat you to other things like clothes, winter boots, or a meal out and to treat HERSELF.
We have been left with a large inheritance from my DM who would NEVER spend money on herself as she thought she was poor. She had huge assets and savings yet would never get a taxi or eat out which is so sad, I think.

It's her money, of course she can spend it how she wants. Even if there's a iht issue regular gifts are allowed as long as it's not affecting her standard of living. If she lives more than 7 years it's irrelevant.

If there was an IHT liability it is an IHT issue how you spend your money. This however is very very unlikely to matter but the comments around this scenario are incorrect in law

My dh uncle is 75.

He withdraws cash every week for his fictitious drug and gambling habits.

You prove he’s been giving it to his family and not the local weed dealers.

Im a care assessor, and i would query a tesco bill of £150 per week as that is not usual for a single pensioner. However, I wouldn't ask for the money to be repaid, just note it and ask that it stop

My dad lived like that too.

He scrimped and saved all his life but then ended up with dementia so it all went on care home fees.

Inheritance Tax rules mean that how you've gifted money in the 7 years before you die is important when it comes to settling an estate. Money someone is giving away has to be sourced from "surplus income" (ie not savings) or else it can be added back into a person's estate and be liable for IHT if that person's estate is liable. It is absolutely ridiculous that the state can affect how normal people use their own money, in their later years, while the super wealthy avoid tax by clever accounting!

The OP is being very sensible in questioning this. I think the shopping solution is probably quite a good one although if somehow HMRC decided to do a in depth review of her mum's estate questions could be asked as to how her living expenses had suddenly gone up so much.

OP my parents were in a similar position and started drawing extra cash out every month and giving it to family. It is very difficult for anyone to say what a person is doing with cash!

I think when it's a case of £150 per week paid to Sainsbury's who exactly is it going to be 'looked at' by?

HMRC don't have the resources to comb through the bank statements of everyone who dies, let alone to investigate any transactions they think might fall foul of the IHT rules.

I’d tell you I’d developed a binge eating disorder. What would you do about that?

You have said your mum is not on benefits.

She could give you her entire estate today if she wanted to. The only things to consider (if she gave you her entire estate and assuming no rental properties/business/shares where capital gains might be due) would be some inheritance tax may be payable if she dies within 7 years. If she needs care the financial assessment may find deliberate deprivation of assets and treat her as if she still has that money. Of course I'm not suggesting she gives away all her worldy goods - I'm just saying that she is perfectly allowed to do it - and she is perfectly allowed to pay for your shopping!

Three potential issues -
Deprivation of assets for her. If it could be reasonably be for seen she will need to pay for care.
Are there siblings on others who are mentioned in her will who may think you are depleting the estate while she is alive, especially if there could be a question of her competence, e.g. dementia.
Your financial position. If you are claiming means tested benefits and they see you are not buying food, but are paying for holidays, clothes etc. they may investigate, e.g. if you are a single parent, they may think you have reconciled or got a new partner who is cohabiting and paying for shopping.

Yes but you would only be involved to give that advice if the OPs mum wanted to claim public money help towards her care wouldn't you?

If the OPs mum is financially independent with no state help it's not a relevant consideration is it? Unless there is reason to believe needing care is imminent?

Cash is king.

This is rubbish. I hope you’re not in the financial advice business. If the OP’s mum wants to buy her weekly food shop, there is absolutely no problem in doing this.

What I don’t understand is this part ‘you can spend the income but as long as you aren’t using capital it’s fine’. So if I have £500k in a savings account when I’m elderly, and it’s all my own savings gathered over my working life I can only depend the interest and not dip into the capital? If I’m retired and decide that I want to have smoked salmon and champagne for breakfast everyday, I can’t because I’ll be spending £150 a week in Waitrose and someone might say I’m trying to avoid inheritance tax?
I tell my DM to spend her money and to enjoy her retirement but should I be telling her to live more frugally incase she spends any of her capital?

How people gift money in the 7 years before they die is also relevant to HMRC if the person's estate falls within Inheritance Tax thresholds.

Yes, how lovely to have a Mum who wants to treat you. My PIL live like paupers and see any expense aside from food as a ‘waste of money’. Moth eaten carpets, 50 year old kitchen and everything falling to bits. They’re in their 90’s and will die with hundreds of thousands of pounds in the bank. I wish they’d spent it giving themselves a nicer retirement.

I agree with this.
It's your mom showering you with her love.
(Even though it's money).
I think parents do that.
My parents did this.
And I only understand their love behind this now, when there's no one here to do it anymore.

No.

it’s about the rules that give exemption from inheritance tax.

you can spend your money how you want. But the government can have the tax rules they want.

if you want to spend your money on smoking you pay tax on cigarettes. If you want to just spend it you pay vat.

the advice given is for if you want to spend it and pay minimum tax.

if you just want to spend it and don’t care about tax then it doesn’t matter