Turning 50 in 18 months and need a life plan

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Help mums. I am turning 50 in 2028- in 18 months and I need a life plan to help me with this phase of my life. Please help!

Goodness, that all sounds a bit…. Well, doesn’t really appeal to me as a woman nearing 50.

Give it a few years then.

And in a few years I won’t want to say sorry if I’m in the wrong? And I won’t want to ever put anyone before myself? Or take. Solo holiday rather than holiday with my children or friends (I am divorced)? Or take a big job when I adore my local part time job?

Nah

How about simply enjoy life? .

I am 55 and I focus a lot on health and fitness, eating well, enjoying each day and finding pleasure in small things as well as still having bigger goals and dreams.

I also don't let toxic people in my life anymore. I found that as I got older I got more relaxed and less interested in what people think of me. It is not about being a 'twat', it is about having good boundaries in place and being more comfortable in my skin and refusing to put up with bullshit.

Maybe also try a new hobby that keeps out of your comfort zone. I started horse riding lessons at 49 and that was definitely a challenge!

It’s not that black & white, although I am using the word ‘stupid’ more than I used to.

Say more that you’ll be less likely to put up with nonsense & better at standing up for yourself.

Solo holidays are brilliant but not compulsory & if you enjoy your job that’s what matters.

I’ve always been able to stand up for myself
and never been inclined to put up with nonsense

Find a nonalcoholic drink you really like. For me it’s Heineken 0% and Rose’s lime juice cordial with ice. So make it a positive thing ‘here’s this nice drink I enjoy, and I feel good in the morning!’ Rather than ‘must stop, must do less.’

It depends what fitness level you’re at now but there’s a reason pickleball and padel are so popular, they’re a lot of fun.

This is strange advice. Knowing what you want is fine but being unapologetic and always putting yourself first would make you a bit of a twat. Also, why volunteering? Fair enough if you want to meet people but I am in my 50’s and between full time senior level role, young adult kids and aging parents, I have more than enough on my plate!

My advice would be to carve out time for yourself every week, focus on being as healthy and fit as possible and try to get your finances in good shape.

I understood that's what the poster meant, it's a common trope that women apologise for themselves too much, for example putting themselves first sometimes!

A lot of it sounds appealing to me as someone in my mid fifties!

Depends what your current life is like I suppose

I’m 50 in 6 months. Last birthday I decided to lose weight before I was 50. It’s something I can do for me.
Do you mean something like that?!?

I imagine it might be. Coincidentally, I've just been reading the thread about the Airbnb review, and your attitude to the poster on there seems to be that she should just put up and shut up. I think she should unapologetically stick up for herself, so you and I definitely have a different view on life.

Deffo need to knock that on the head and smoking if u smoke ,!
Make sure U know your body well
Gain knowledge about menopause keep yourself fit or just keep moving and make sure U look after your mental health

You are not taking this one post in the spirit it’s intended and are completely missing some good points. The post wasn’t for you, anyway. Maybe stop derailing this thread and apologize to the OP.

Those sound fun :).
Don't think you needed to ask us for advice.

Lurking for ideas

Check your pensions!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Middle-Passage-Mid-Life-Psychology-Analysts/dp/0919123600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1V4DXMZ47CLB&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.0MUhDT8WvxlE2YK8bzTyJ1yIedLl8SqiO2o3o6j_FFtHMi4M6GyQwRe9HpjIkJMRMuwDbFVnkkKHHaAA6AbXPh_wu46jYvwdWSmpQmtBChCKFNXmZ_uNhg4-UxWWXH9_Vxbeqv40D4vEII5Vt17Gab_erZ29uUbLyaZ0r36uqgVLPD8DqR04toOlHj5adcqnQJxWgQ-TDY-E16IBM1intmyGvguBLCN6T1XjgpH6sf8.yvPDnLsYc3oYOOcE_tYdk88XyK3KRJbAwhzt6C1NZwQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+middle+passage+james+hollis&qid=1788166921&sprefix=the+middle%2Caps%2C133&sr=8-1

Sorry for the long link. I'd really recommend this book about finding meaning and working out what you want in mid life.

Other than that, you mentioned drinking less- great idea. I've found that as I've got older alcohol affects me in so many more ways. Giving up or cutting right down is life-changing and will give you much greater clarity and energy.

Review your finances so that you can make sure you're on track.

Not sure I agree with the specifics of @rubyslippers list but the theme is one I agree with- essentially finding a way to live that accords with your own values and wishes rather than being swept along in everybody else's.

Why have you hijacked this thread to pick a fight?
Rubyslippers was trying to give helpful advice and you’re picking her to shreds- politely disagree and move on.
I hate it when threads get sidetracked by pettiness.
OP, my advice for what it’s worth is to worry less about what total strangers think and look after your health. Also- keep checking you are paying enough into your pension.
Overall, try and enjoy life- it’s really short.

Op, being 50 is going to feel exactly like being 49 or 46. The difference is psychological.

In my case, I want more parties, more live music, more time with my friends and more life. I have started writing a book. Don't try and do too much. Choose two things that mean the world to you/your health and build slowly - a ten year project to sixty.

Do you say sorry when you don’t mean it? And feel like you do too much for others and should put yourself first? Want to take a holiday alone?

I don’t feel like I need to make any big life changes at 50 I suppose because I’m fine with saying sorry if I have done some wrong, a d I don’t feel like I’ve gone through life being walked over and I am very happy to put loved ones before myself - it actually brings me joy. The idea of a solo holiday holds no appeal to me. I don’t want the big job anymore and volunteering isn’t something that appeals!

My advise - deal with the drinking and I reckon your life will exponentially improve @RosieLeaLovesTea

Well, yeah.

Then start making the changes now surely?