Guilt and Embarrassment (lighthearted)

[KiddyMcKiddly]

Three years ago we went on holiday with friends and got into playing a card game in the evenings. I'm not very good at the game so I cheated and won. There was nothing at stake except pride but for some reason I feel really guilty about it, even years later.
I also know that one of the friends knew i had cheated (because of something he said) and so i feel embarrassed that he knows i did it - it's so tragic for a forty-something woman to cheat in a card game! I bet nobody from the holiday but me remembers it but it's one of those things that plays in my mind during quiet moments.

What silly thing are you riddled with guilt and/or embarrassment over?

I'd just try to remember times when you've been wronged & remember nobody's perfect. You feel guilty about it so that's something

I was getting sick & tired of staff at work leaving food in the fridge to go off. There was a loaf of bread in there one week & was still in there on the Monday & had gone mouldy. Someone then threw it out. So when another loaf appeared & stayed there for a few days, I thought, sod this, so I took it home with me on the Friday. It was quite expensive looking & very tasty. The following week an email from one of the managers went out asking who had stolen his bread! Obviously I didn't own up. Still feel a bit guilty though

Personally I don't regard valuing honesty as having a stick up my arse - to paraphrase your charming language.
Pity you haven't something constructive to say.

I’ve never cheated at cards in my life but would definitely prefer to socialise with a card cheat than a fun sponge

fun sponge???

Well if you prefer the company of dishonest people over that of honest ones fair enough.

I think it's very strange that you seem to think honest people can't have fun. I 've played card games and board games with countless people over the years and I can assure you we have always had lots of enjoyment and laughter. Really where is the "fun" in cheating? You are cheating yourself as much as the people you are being dishonest with.

Haha my DH is notorious for cheating in board games and we all laugh about it. 99% of the time he’s that busy cheating he could have actually won. I suspect nobody but you is worried. I also overthink though and replay the most mundane things from many many moons ago over and over in my head during the wee small hours so I send you solidarity and un MN hugs.

obviously cheating at a friendly card game is of zero significance. your friends probably would not notice/ care. But clearly it does still mean something to you. Are you perhaps trying to understand why you did it, and resolving that feeling?

I have a friend who is known for really needing to win at games to the point of slightly cheating / bending the rules... We don’t care about the game but we do roll out eyes in pity when they start arguing that someone’s child knocked the table during Jenga so they should have another turn - it comes across pretty childish for someone nearing 50

I would have assumed I’d misheard and you’d called her ma’am (or marm).

Oh come on, it was a game and it was a silly thing. You're acting like she's committed a crime, do you want the op to commit self flagellation?

🙄🙄🙄🙄 There is always one.

😂😂😂

Blimey

You sound ghastly

A friend cheated at Uno about 20 years ago, which weirdly I still remember. I was outraged, but that’s because I’m pettily competitive, and wouldn’t get any satisfaction from winning by cheating so didn’t suspect anyone else would do it.

I don’t judge him for anything so daft though!

I don’t think it’s dramatic either. I’d not respect someone that had cheated. It reveals a very dodgy cast of mind. Not ok.

The why you did it is more impotent than one of them knowing you did it.

It was a card game amongst friends with zero stakes. If 6 people plays a game, then 5 of them will lose. So losing the game doesn’t single you out, it isn’t embarrassing, it doesn’t matter and most people playing will lose. So, why did you do it? Why was it so important to win?

I can’t stand people who cheat, but one of our hobbies is board games - I have about 60 of them, we go to game cafes, we play a lot of card games etc. The fun is the playing and cheating really would be taken quite badly.

Oh, FFS. The OP knows this and feels guilty about it. Have you never done anything and then regretted it?

I think some posters here missed the "light hearted" part of the OP. ...😵‍💫

It's not like OP confessed to armed robbery. 🙄
Although, that would likely be an AMA post, wouldn't it? 🙂

Oh, man…that must eat you up when you’re trying to sleep! 😂 Please tell me this was in open court session?? I’m so sorry! 🤣

The person condemning you for cheating at cards is always the kind of person with a feckless son whose in and out of work and doesnt see/support his kids whose had it sooooo hard the poor love. Always a hypocrite.

😂 I think there’s more of us that have done that at work than would probably admit! Of course I’ve never done it to clients …🫣🫪

This was forever happening to me at school! Even when I tried to own up to things - like, I was the one who started the (whatever it was) messy fight in an art class one day and the boy got blamed. I tried telling the teacher it was me that started it but they were just “that’s very nice of you to try and take the blame”, like I couldn’t be naughty! I might’ve looked like an angel but I certainly wasn’t!

Yes it was a district judge back when you called them Sir/Ma'am not Judge (now changed) and I was pretty young... and obviously thinking about my mum 😂

I should have said ma'am - unfortunately due to my regional accent it was very obvious I was saying mum OOPS

Seriously, I was just hoping for a fun thread about weird things we can't get out of our heads. I need neither absolution nor condemnation, but @Gladitsraining's character assassination of me is hilarious and way wide of the mark. It makes me wonder what guilty secrets they are hiding, cos there's definitely something that's eating them from the inside out.

Oh god! I did something similar a few years ago and I’ve tried so hard to forget about it and sometimes I can put it away but then something reminds me (like this post 😱) and all the shame and embarrassment comes flooding back! 🫣

It wasn’t even a relative, and they weren’t even coming in for a hug like I thought (😳) but to whisper/quietly say something to me and “love you” just popped out of my mouth from god knows where in my brain! I can’t say how I knew them, too outing, but I knew them sort of well, but just not deep. It’s difficult to explain. I just had to avoid them after that and I felt like they might’ve been doing the same 🫪

That constantly lived in my head for maybe ten years until I finally managed to shove it down and lock it away, where it would - gradually - fall out less often, until something reminds me of it, like now, and so it will sit there for a while again now! <shudder>
😂
eta: I’ve also just remembered the worst bit, I thought it was the usual “mwah” type sitch but obviously was not only wrong I ended up almost kissing them on the neck before I said it! God, I’m so bloody awkward! I was a fully grown adult!

I think majority of us would prefer to move in circles of non-judgey people, those who don’t think cheating at a daft, no-reward game of happy families with friends on holiday to pass the time till the rain stopped, or whatever, means they’ve the moral fibre of a baby killer.
But perhaps, @KiddyMcKiddly there’s nothing you can do to redeem yourself now, you’re just going straight to hell, don’t pass go and don’t collect £200, so you may as well carry on with your lack of moral compass and disgusting behaviour! 😄

Same here! Put the phone down at work and my colleague asked, “who do you love?” Took a second to compute that I’d just told a man in another department, who I’d met in person only once, that I loved him. Had to call back and explain myself. He found it hilarious.