Guilt and Embarrassment (lighthearted)

[KiddyMcKiddly]

Three years ago we went on holiday with friends and got into playing a card game in the evenings. I'm not very good at the game so I cheated and won. There was nothing at stake except pride but for some reason I feel really guilty about it, even years later.
I also know that one of the friends knew i had cheated (because of something he said) and so i feel embarrassed that he knows i did it - it's so tragic for a forty-something woman to cheat in a card game! I bet nobody from the holiday but me remembers it but it's one of those things that plays in my mind during quiet moments.

What silly thing are you riddled with guilt and/or embarrassment over?

I put cheating on a par with lying. It would never even cross my mind to cheat . There is no shame in being beaten. There is every shame in cheating. I'm sorry but i don't count cheating at cards as a silly thing at all.

I really couldn't care less if a friend cheated in a fun game years ago so I wouldn't worry about it.

It’s not worth worrying about. It’s in the past now. It’s quite funny really

we’ve all been there! Don’t worry about it. But I also have moments I think back to and cringe 😬

Crikey I thought the cheating involved infidelity.
A card game..as said in Good fellas movie
Forget about it

Cheating at a no stakes card game with friends is on a par with running through fields of wheat on the naughty scale 😂

Dramatic much?

Guilt, not so much, I'm pretty boring. But fwiw I wouldn't sweat the card game, noone else will care.

Embarrassment? Called a judge "mum" (I'm a barrister)

Once when I worked in a diy store I was in the warehouse and had to call the manager in his office. At the end of the phone call I said “thanks, love you”

🤦‍♀️

Still cringe when I think about it

🤣

In court??

Yep! Open court. Not my finest hour.
To my immense gratitude she grinned and ignored it 😹

I'm guessing you asked your playmates for Mr Bun the Baker, to disguise the fact that you had accidently dropped him down the toilet during a 'comfort break'.

It's not dramatic.
I was brought up playing cards from when I was tiny. Cheating at cards has always been taken very very seriously by my family and the circles i have always moved in. Cheating at any game is dreadful and is a serious issue. So dishonest and is very revealing about the character, and lack of it, of anybody who would do it.

That may be what you typed, but what I read was "My family are also very dramatic" 😂

When I was five or six I didn’t own up when the teacher asked sternly who had been talking. But Philip, who I had been exchanging whispers with about him borrowing my purple crayon, did own up. He was punished and the teacher made a big deal about how it was always the boys being naughty and not the girls.

I still feel bad about it nearly seventy years later!

Many of us have some such story. My sibling robbed the bank during a family game of Monopoly one Christmas. My BIL (DH's brother) was also known for doing that.

Neither do it now. They outgrew it although didn't live it down.

As our moral guide, how would you recommend I go about making amends @Gladitsraining ? Is there any hope of redemption for such a dreadful sinner as me, or must I bear this burden of shame for all eternity?

Brilliant 🤣🤣

Dp's nephew who's 40 popped over the over during the week, he gave me a hug and a kiss as usual, and I responded by saying 'love you' 😂 and no there is zero underlying thoughts there at all!!! I'm so used to my dc giving me a hug and kiss and saying love you, it was automatic lol I could have died though!

Unless their cheating deprived her friends of significant amounts of cash it’s really not serious, and OP’s guilt suggests that it’s not “indicative of their character”. The “circles you move in” sound fun 🙄.

I think the fact you find cheating a normal activity shows how widespread dishonesty and lack of decency is prevelant in the world today. So many people no longer have any sense of, or care about, right and wrong. Or have any moral standards.
Personally I would rather mix with people who are honest and decent than those who you describe as " fun" who aren't.

I am my own moral guide. Nobody else's.

You chose, for whatever reason, to start a thread about the fact you are a card cheat. You shouldn't expect everybody to go along with your invitation to regard what you did as just something silly. Card cheats are fundamentally dishonest people
That's for you to address, not me.

That’s not what I said. Cheating isn’t acceptable, however this was, as I understand it, a fun activity between friends. That the victim is feeling guilt suggests that it is an isolated event and not indicative of her moral turpitude.

I'd take a look at why you feel the need to put someone down repeatedly over something they said they already feel bad about. I'd worry about that more than cheating in a silly card game years ago.

There is a card game called " cheat". If OP and her pals wanted to cheat they should have been playing that. Does the fact she thought it acceptable to cheat people who are supposedly her friends make it better or worse than chosing to cheat strangers?

It would appear OP started this thread to get exactly the reassurance you and other pp are giving her: don't worry about it. Cheating is ok in some circumstances. Cheating your friends is just a bit of " fun".

Well I'm sorry but cheating is dishonest and is not acceptable. A person is either honest and trustworthy or they aren't and OP has shown which she is. Chosing to start a thread so strangers on an anonymous forum can tell her she hasn't done anything wrong is not the way to deal with what she has revealed about her fundamental character.