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DD feels she is being picked on at work, what's the best way to handle this?

57 replies

Redsparkleydeeleyboppers · 24/07/2026 10:01

DD has not long turned 18. She's studying at college and has been trying to find a part time job which is so very difficult on our area, it's very competitive here (as I imagine it is in many parts of the UK right now).

We live near a seaside town and so she started applying for seasonal jobs at the local holiday parks and was thrilled to land herself a summer job from May to October and the pay is quite good for her age (£13 per hour), more than most places are paying around here.

She has really enjoyed it so far and as most of the staff are around her age (18-22) she gets on with everyone but things have changed over the last few weeks. Her team leader left and one of the lifeguards was given the job. She says he was always fine with her in his previous role but since he's become team leader he is really quite nasty to her at times. His whole demeanour has changed since and she feels he is picking on her regularly. She says he will bark out orders to her with zero patience and the other day swore at her and as it was over the walkie talkie everyone overheard which she said was really embarrassing (it was something on the lines of 'Oh for fuck sake Sophie, just do it already'). She says he's having a go at her for struggling with certain tasks that she's never had training for.

She is on the activities team and is often left alone to deal with an activity which should have two workers on and is expected to move certain pieces of equipment about on her own, for example she is often on the bungee trampolines and at the end of the day they expect her to lift large 12-15 ft trampolines over on to their sides. I have told not to even attempt this alone.

Yesterday was a training day and she says he appeared to pick on her and a couple of the other girls on/off all day yet he was not like this with any of the lads. DD is very friendly with one of the other lifeguards and they do flirt a bit. This team leader asked her to perform a task during this training session and she struggled with it so he turned to DD's lifeguard friend and in front of everyone said, 'So, Callum so you enjoy flirting with someone this thick?'

I've told her this is bullying within the work place and she must absolutely put a stop to it by either going to a supervisor/manager or contacting HR but she won't, she says this is the kind of work culture here and the supervisors and managers are all the same (none are over the age of 25/30) and she doesn't want to make a fuss and get picked on any further. She will stand up for herself though and has argued her point to him a few times but he just shuts her down. She says she's not letting any man push her out of a job and will stick it to the end but it's sad that it has to be with a bad air because of this guy's unprofessional behaviour. I believe he is the one needing the extra training on how to converse effectively and productively with staff members.

She says she believes she works well and none of the other supervisors or managers have pulled her up on any issues, it's just this one guy who seems a bit 'drunk with power' since he's stepped into his new role.

She really needs this job and after it comes to an end at the beginning of October who knows if she'll be able to secure another part time job easily, we are quite an overcrowded town and many of her friends are struggling to find jobs.

What would you do if you were in her position?

OP posts:
AwayWiththeGoblins · Yesterday 18:13

DeftGoldHedgehog · 24/07/2026 19:50

And what sort of 18 year old were "we" 30 years ago?

Well, I was hitching around the countryside working between school and university as a relief milker and in an abattoir, then, having never been abroad, and having barely left my home county, I got myself a passport, and an au pair job in France. Pre-mobiles, so little contact with home. I don't think that was particularly unusual.

GarlicBiscuits · Yesterday 18:50

Redsparkleydeeleyboppers · Yesterday 13:12

Honestly, this guy is so immature it's unbelievable. DD came home from work on Saturday and he'd drawn a phallic symbol in the dust on her car bonnet - he's obviously a 12 year old stuck in a twenty something's body ffs!

Again, leave an anonymous Trip Advisor customer review saying that you saw a member of staff doing this…

PrincessHoneysuckle · Yesterday 18:55

Haven or Butlins?

OriginalUsername2 · Yesterday 19:06

I think she should make him aware that bullying 18th at old girls just makes him look like a loser to her. In whatever way teens speak these days!

DeftGoldHedgehog · Yesterday 22:09

AwayWiththeGoblins · Yesterday 18:13

Well, I was hitching around the countryside working between school and university as a relief milker and in an abattoir, then, having never been abroad, and having barely left my home county, I got myself a passport, and an au pair job in France. Pre-mobiles, so little contact with home. I don't think that was particularly unusual.

It was certainly unusual among anyone I knew or heard of. We all just about had Saturday jobs in C&A or the local pub, and were doing A-Levels. Going to university or our first package holiday with no parents was our biggest adventure.

Redsparkleydeeleyboppers · Yesterday 23:05

PrincessHoneysuckle · Yesterday 18:55

Haven or Butlins?

Haven

OP posts:
Pessismistic · Yesterday 23:17

Sounds like he is trying to push her out or he fancies her like mad and she’s not interested he’s definitely a child but it’s hurtful for your dd that such a baby is in charge of her. Definitely send an email saying that you saw staff bullying a member of staff mainly females it’s not a good look and makes haven look very unprofessional and they must have a duty of care to the staff who work there. Review will be put on trip advisor to advise the guests there is some misogynistic supervisors employed by haven.

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