I am addicted to my DCs getting praise and awards.

[Thingsthatgo]

I know it’s a bit pathetic! As I child I got recognition very very rarely from school, clubs and my parents (I come from a large family, and they were just always too busy). I worked really hard at school until secondary, and then I coasted because it didn’t seem to make any difference what I did. No one really noticed.
My DCs are hard working, academic and social. They excel at school and are constantly praised and given awards. They get the main parts in shows and all of the extra opportunities in school - meeting visitors, going on trips and given prizes, badges and certificates as well as leadership opportunities. I am so proud of them both, but I have realised that I get quite a buzz from their achievements, which is maybe me seeking something that was missing from my own childhood. Not just being proud, but a kind of validation. This is all going to stop when they leave school, and it might leave me feeling quite empty.
Please don’t have a go at me, I know it’s not healthy. I just had a bit of a revelation, and needed to write it down. Chat

I was parented in an environment where a lot of emphasis was put on external validation and the long term results weren't great, let's put it that way. I probably go too far the other way and am fairly chilled out as to what people think about my kids since they're people in their own right, not show ponies.

There is no chance at all of me basking in their reflected glory. Though I was chuffed to be told at the last parents' evening that DC1 is kind to classmates and has a good sense of humour. I'll take that!

My own DM for example would panic almost to a comic extent if I had a problem that couldn't be solved with money. So I gave up sharing my problems with her. She became reliant on me being a problem-free child and then a problem-free adult.

This was similar for me growing up, although there was no money. So you couldn't have any problems at all, even if £££ would have solved them.