Does anyone else struggle with their stepdaughter and feel uncomfortable admitting it?

[AnnoyedOtter]

Is there anyone out there who can’t stand their “stepdaughter” ?! Just being honest!

Poor girl.

Are you very new to Mn, OP? Blended family difficulty threads are very frequent, understandably.

How old is your stepdaughter? What sort of struggle?

Hi she is 13. Nothing but rude and even gives her Dad unwanted dramas.
she used to be a nice girl but she has changed for the worst.
Her brother is nice as pie but she is a total nightmare. Always causes issues between my partner and I. I’m so fed up 😔

Hi there yes I’m very new to this. I just wanted to vent on here as I’m very frustrated and was hoping some people could relate 😤

There's a Step-parenting section on here where you might get more support, OP.

Do you have children of your own op and if so how old?

She's 13 which is a tough age to be plus puberty hitting so an attitude change is due right about now.

She's a teenager in a blended family situation. Be the adult.

Is her brother younger? If yes, be prepared for him change with the onset of adolescence.

13 in a blended family. Poor kid. Most of us struggle with our 13 year olds not being cute and amenable any more but parental love carries most of
us through. Sadly in a blended family this may not be the case.

Poor girl. 13 is often a difficult age and it can't be nice having to live part time with a woman that can't stand her.

Do you have kids? Did your parents split up and have new partners? Can you see things from her point of view?

i.e. She probably cannot stand you and the new life imposed on her.

You'll get loads of people telling you you’re awful and feeling sorry for your SD but in reality I think it’s very common for people to feel the way you do.

We don’t live together.

I'll just remind you that you're an adult, talking like this about a child. You have full agency over your life and who you spend it with, she doesn't.

Thank you.

Both can be true. Step parents are often resentful of the children, doesn't mean it's not awful for the children, and the adult has a responsibility to remove themselves if they're going to be horrible to a CHILD.

You won't get what you need on MN. Everyone will focus on what it's like for your step daughter. Your feelings are valid but you'll need to take them to a step mothers support thread/group etc. It's important that you have space to express and have acknowledged your feelings because that will be better for you and the whole family including the step daughter. Being a step mother is fucking hard.

My step mum. She clearly showed it and it was horrible

Exactly, thank you for not being judgmental 😊

I agree and would add, the adult has choices, children rarely do.

OP what do you not like about her? Presumably she comes as a package with her dad, it's ok to walk away from the relationship if the package is not for you.

keep it that way.

date her dad when she’s not around. Don’t try and insert yourself unto her life.

be aware of losing your sense of self. A relationship should be an addition to your life, not the sole focus. Focus on biiiding friends, hobbies etc so you have plenty to talk abut on dates that’s not someone else family drama

I was a difficult teenager, not helped by the fact my dad had remarried and had another baby with a woman who obviously didn't like me. Your behaviour towards her will likely have long term implications

Take a big step back. If you really don’t like DPs daughter, this might not be the relationship for you long term.

If it suits you to continue dating him, just do that, but step back from any shared activities or childcare.

I haven’t spoken to my step daughter in 3 years and have absolutely no intention of doing so ever again. We got on really well from the age of 15-19 for some reason she decided she didn’t like me, was rude to my face, rude to my parents, made family gatherings unbearable and was just pure nasty no reason nothing happened AT ALL. I get on really well with her Mum have never ever interfered always been a “mate” my DH is at a loss but 3 years on I’ve just decided she’s an adult and can make her own mind up no matter what she thinks I’ve chosen not to be fussed by it. I’ve asked she’s not around me or my children because it’s our home and she has no right to be rude in it. She’s entitled, chavvy and believes the world owes her a favour.