Is it normal to pre-order food at a friend's barbecue?

[JohnnieFedora]

I went to a friend's house last weekend for a BBQ and it was the strangest set upnjbe ever known.

You had to let host know what you wanted cooked for you... So you had to say "1 burger, 3 skewers" that kind of thing
They cooked exactly and only what was ordered and have it to you on a plate.

Never ever seen this before! I know it's not normal... Bit so bizarre!

When we bought our first gas barbecue we cooked all meat on it for a few weeks! Even went out with an umbrella a couple of times just to get bbq flavour.

We know how many people, ask about any allergies or strong likes/dislikes ahead of time. Get enough meat so there’s at least two of everything per person, plus whatever folks bring (people always bring stuff!)
Cook one round of food, then chuck round 2 on while first lot being eaten. Round 3 is the what’s left for the hardcore scoffers. Salads and nibbles topped up throughout.
Sounds like your hosts went one step further (too far?) but there is nothing worse than cooking food no one wants so I’m fully on the side of getting some sort of gauge of what will and won’t get eaten

What waste? You just eat it cold in sandwiches or with salad over the next day or two

Have you ever eaten a cold bbq’d burger the next day, it’s rank!!
When we host we get loads of kebabs, sausages and burgers (multiples of each per person) but cook to order, the rest goes in the freezer. I was sick of the food waste and cooked stuff going in the bin the next day. Sausages are ok cold- burgers and lamb kebabs not so much.

And we provide the sides and drinks too. So defo not tight!

I’ve never seen that before. Bbq meat does not go to waste in my house.a bit of salad might - but nothing the compost bin won’t accept.

Are they against food waste ? This is the only logical reason I can think of.

Sounds reasonable to be honest and means people aren’t disappointed when one person takes the last sausage.

I think it’s a pretty good idea!

We cook burgers to order but only because leftover cold burgers are grim.

Everything else gets cooked and the leftovers make a bonus lunch the next day.

Bizarre. Most people don't know what they want to eat until on the day or as its cooked.

How can you not over cater if you don't know who wants what? It would be over catering to make a burger, sausage, chicken piece, kofta, kebab, halloumi skewer and piece of pork for everyone. It's way too much food for a single person.

Why is this relevant?

There are definitely some guests who would make a valiant effort to eat one of each. The then wouldn't need to eat again for at least 18 hrs, but some people can manage a big banquet or those "meat challenge - eat it all and it's free" deals that some restaurants do.

I think it's best to cook enough that there's enough food to make sure a number of people equal to 1.5 x the actual number present will be well fed and unlikely to be able to eat any more. Assuming that some people will manage to put away more than you expect, and there will still be leftovers, the host keeps whatever leftovers they can reasonably use before it goes bad and asks everyone else to kindly take away a doggy bag of whatever remains.

Because if you know 6 people are eating, and you're serving burgers and sausages you make enough for at least 1 of each and a few extra.

So like if do 18 sausages and 12 burgers.

Any left over meat is easily eaten in the next few days. And also you can send stuff back with the guests too?

I think she was hoping I contributed nothing to the meal so she could call me another name 😂😂😂

Food is generally a complete side consideration at her together like this. I’d put my order in, thank host profusely for arranging the bbq and cooking, then take a seat and spend the afternoon chewing the fat with friends and / or family whilst the kids run around and play.

It really doesn’t sound like you generally regard this host particularly fondly @JohnnieFedora

At a bbq? The food is the main event surely

Hmm - I can see this from both sides and I actually think they were on to a good thing but should have executed it differently.

Contacting people in advance and asking them roughly what they would like to eat is a good idea because it you a good steer on how many sausages vs how many chicken skewers etc. Rigidly sticking to it and allowing no changes of mind or extras is not in the spirit of a party.

So I think asking in advance is a good idea but then cooking a few extras hopefully means if there is waste there is not much and people get basically what they want.

.. okay?

I'm just confused and wondered if it was a "done thing".

No way! Not for me. It’s about friends, family, long summer evenings, chewing the fact and enjoying the few months of fab weather we get

You did respond “nothing” initially!

Did you otherwise enjoy yourself?

Agree with all of that but I do find that the quality of the food and hosting sets the tone for the evening and helps to create an atmosphere conducive to relaxing and enjoyment. Bad food, stingy portions, a lack of nibbles or drinks, and the vibes are off - otherwise we wouldn’t gather for food, we would pop a dinner pill before we went out and sit around drinking tap water.

My younger brothers housewarming party… an absolute shit show in terms of food, and as for hosting… he was too busy flirting with his new neighbour.

Best BBQ I’ve ever been to

I’m hosting in a couple of weeks and trying to figure out quantities is hard. If you’re also on a budget it would be even worse. I couldn’t be fussed about this, I’d just reply and not give it further thought.