Is it normal to pre-order food at a friend's barbecue?

[JohnnieFedora]

I went to a friend's house last weekend for a BBQ and it was the strangest set upnjbe ever known.

You had to let host know what you wanted cooked for you... So you had to say "1 burger, 3 skewers" that kind of thing
They cooked exactly and only what was ordered and have it to you on a plate.

Never ever seen this before! I know it's not normal... Bit so bizarre!

Ermmm... I brought the drinks...

And a potato salad actually!

It's a good idea.

We do the "burgers are going on, who wants one" because I've had BBQs before where we have so much left over, it was just a waste.

All the alcohol? And you're happy with people taking half a dozen, taking a sip of one each and then wasting them since they're "free", right?

Definitely not normal in our house! If we’re hosting, we cook and make plenty, and always have plenty of leftovers too. Me and my husband always plan that we’ll be eating leftover bbq food for at least three days after! So justify the extra cost in that way!

Couldn't care less about it tbh. I don't police people's drinking 🤷

And besides, who takes one bite of sausage chicks it away , then a nibble of chicken drumstick chucks it and then eat half a burger???

Only if you over cater and don't use the leftovers up 🤷

There’s middle ground though, surely?

IMO it’s incredibly wasteful to throw on all the food at once and serve it all at the same time. You tend to find that you end up with so much left that a lot gets thrown out.

But equally it’s a bit odd to take an exact order and that’s it.

I tend to cook the food a bit at a time, so I put on the sausages, while people eat those something else is cooking, I ask if people want one, if they do I cook it, and if there’s meat left over and people want more I’ll cook that.

I am a BBQ enthusiast, and I always cook to order. I hate when people cook a big batch of food and put it out usually burgers and sausage,

Plated BBQ food with nice sides that pair well with the dish is a much nicer way to serve it. The other way I would say is classic UK BBQ slop,

Order loads ! so you can have a choice on the day 🤣sounds like people being tight to me !

Then ask for more, or ask if you can cook your own.

Never experienced this at a BBQ, we host a lot of them, and there is very little waste. If anything doesn't get eaten at the BBQ, it is used somehow the next day.

Were you at my sibling’s? That’s the type of thing that happens at his house. I remember once it was ‘do you want a burger or sausage’ - and then they’d cook on request. Having both didn’t seem like an option!

if we are having a traditional bbq - burgers sausages etc. we’ll put enough on so there’s enough choice for people to help themselves, and then it’s a case of ‘anyone want another x, y or z when stuff starts to run out and we’ll cook some more according to demand. Rarely any waste.

Who cooks their own food at other people's houses?

It’s really poor etiquette. Fine if it’s for your immediate family and you don’t want waste, but very bad form when entertaining.

Terrible and beyond rude

Freshly made to order food that you asked for what’s wrong with that. People are really missing the point here. I’d much rather have that then a dodgy burger that# been on the grill for hours

did you ask for seconds? What happened then? More food cooked to order

We always cook loads because BBQ leftovers are the best. Why would it be wasted?

I was really pleased that someone took my steak order and how I like it done - rare and it was indeed done rare. One of the things I really dislike about BBQs is men taking over the cooking when they can't cook and so the meat is tough and over cooked. I'm not really a pile the plate high kind of eater. Quality over quantity.

Terrible idea. Mean spirited. Nothing worse than a scrimping host.

If you can’t afford to host a barbecue properly then don’t bother or do a chilli and rice instead and sit outside.

I think it's weird. If you were going for lunch at someone's house and it was a buffet type meal (bread, salad, cold meat etc) it would be deeply weird to specify in advance what you wanted and then be given that and only that on a plate (two slices of French bread, a slice of ham, some Brie, a serving of green salad and a serving of potato salad please, and then I'll go for the trifle). It feels the same.

Unbelievable

who needs friends when…

Starting a thread bitching about your “friend” who invited you to her home, bought food for a bbq, laid it on, cooked it, cleared it.

And no where does the Op say her friends urged said she could only order XYZ or there was a limit.

What does pre order mean here? Is it different to order in some way?

How far ahead of the cooking were you asked?

I don’t think it’s rude at all. It sounds like guests were asked when they got there, at which point those bits went on the BBQ. Surely that’s better than being the person who wants the chicken and having to wait unti the host has done the batch of sausages and the batch of burgers etc. Or getting the lone burger that’s been “keeping warm” in the corner for 15 mins.

so the answer is “none”

do I ever ask guests to order in advance? Absolutely not

would I ever complain / start a thread garnering bitchy comments about a friend who had hosted me and decided to do this? Never in a month of Sundays