Is it normal to pre-order food at a friend's barbecue?

[JohnnieFedora]

I went to a friend's house last weekend for a BBQ and it was the strangest set upnjbe ever known.

You had to let host know what you wanted cooked for you... So you had to say "1 burger, 3 skewers" that kind of thing
They cooked exactly and only what was ordered and have it to you on a plate.

Never ever seen this before! I know it's not normal... Bit so bizarre!

This in spades, and its joyless and tight!

So did I.

Ooh I can't wait for my one chicken skewer and 1 burger...

It is a good idea. As long as you can come and go and keep ordering... Oh the satay chicken with rice salad will be plenty for me thank you...

... A few drinks later...

Do you do a stacked burger topped with bacon and a chicken fillet please. All the salad, a bit of coleslaw. If you need me I'll be sat over over.. (there somewhere). Got any pickles mate? I'm sorry - Tom.
Thank you. I love you.

Who wastes BBQ food?

Don't cook huge amounts but if there's something cooked but not eaten, it will be fine the next day or two.

If you've uncooked food, eat it over the next few days or freeze it.

I'd be happy to have cooked to order once I've seen the food. Otherwise I wouldn't know how much I want without knowing how big something is, what sides are available, how hungry I am.

You might at a friend's barbecue, if there's uncooked food left and the host has been at the grill all evening and wants to circulate.

Well, actually it wasn't none. I did take a potato and bacon salad I'd made (because they requested it as they enjoyed it at ours last year.)

It's not bitchy.
It's a strange set up I've never experienced.

They happily drank the drinks without limitations and I didn't require them to tell me how much salad they'd like. 🤷

I don’t think it’s usual but it’s good to prevent food waste

I’m genuinely surprised at this thread. My family bbqs a lot and always ask what people want and cook what they want (with a few extras thrown in). Food is bloody expensive, and I’m not wasting it by overcooking! Always have food leftover and no one ever goes hungry

Agree @Icantbebothered - we usually get plenty of food in for a BBQ but if, say, only one person fancies a minted lamb steak (yum, thank you Asda!) much easier to be able to keep the uncooked, unopened ones in the fridge or freezer than to have a pile of them cooked and in a leftovers box.

Not in the slightest bit rude or terrible IMO.

It’s “not bitchy” to you because…. Well, starting a thread about a friend who hosted you trying to garner bitchy comments about her is just what you would usually do about “friends”

For most of the rest of us… it is most definitely bitchy

yeah this is weird

but I suspect the start of the new normal

isn the bbq part of the social focal point as in
“burgers ready”
feed the kids first
then the adults jostle around in dribs and drabs

you cook until a couple of things don’t get eaten then save any leftover meat for the following days

plus if you took crates of beer and pimms it’s not like you turned up empty handed

yeah it’s a bit unusual

@JohnnieFedora Were you at ours'?😅
We do this because we have plenty of different food and not everyone likes all foods. So dh takes orders, cook and then ofcourse there can be second and third orders- we asked everyone multiple times- we had plenty to go around. Everyone seemed happy about the setup..

Now imagine coming across a thread where a guest has started a thread bitching about your hosting skills. It would be very hurtful.

I think this is about cost, I don’t agree it’s about food waste, you can easily give left overs to guests.

for me the key to hosting is generosity, your guests should not be hungry and be able to eat their fill of whatever they fancy thays on the menu. This is restriction. But that’s assuming you can afford to do that.

so I also understand it, money is tight for many, so they didn’t want to buy more than they absolutely needed, I’d prefer this to what my in-laws do, they buy the cheapest frozen meat and it’s utterly disgusting, cheap rusk filled burgers with fatty bits, like greasy cardboard, cheap gristle filled sausages, flabby chicken that’s been filled with water or whatever, they have money, but for bbqs they buy the worst food I’ve ever tasted, we now smuggle snacks into our suitcase, eat minimally of the bread and limp salad and then sneak up to the room and eat in secret.

I think this is about cost, I don’t agree it’s about food waste, you can easily give left overs to guests.

I would not thank a host who gave me a sandwich bag containing three cold burgers and a sausage.

It’s sounds strangely formal and joyless.

I think it’s very weird! I don’t know exactly how much I want to eat days before, or even in the morning. As a guest it would make me hold off on ordering too much because I would feel obliged to finish what I had “ordered”.

As a host, I would hate to have people leave potentially hungry. It feels a bit prescriptive and ungenerous, which is the opposite way of how I want to host. I often make too much, but left over bbq food is a joy! If there is loads I send some home with people if I don’t think we can finish it ourselves.

What do you mean? Pre-order when?

on arrival?

or days before?

I think on arrival / throughout the day is fine. Allows them to know how much of each thing to cook

I think it is very strange. And to me indicative of being a bit tight.
If you cannot afford to give someone an extra burger do not host a BBQ? Don’t they have a freezer perhaps ?

How far in advance were you expected to put your order in? Was it as you arrived and they started cooking?
I haven’t come across this before and it sounds quite joyless to me. I’d feel awkward asking for ‘too much’! Oh and all this talk of food wastage. Why? Surely you eat the leftovers the next day for lunch or whatever? Maybe we’re weird!

There's no indication that it wasn't possible to ask for an extra burger after the 'first round' of cooking people what they "ordered".

I wouldn't freeze a cooked burger. I would freeze an unopened packet of raw burgers that was in the fridge waiting to see if any guest requested it.

I wouldn’t freeze a cooked burger either.
I was wondering on the lack of a freezer if they were asking to know exactly how much to buy. Either from a butcher, or from the point of view of having a minimum of leftovers that they haven’t cooked and could not freeze.
And if you are asking people how much of anything they would eat it does rather indicate that there would not be seconds. Else why ask in the first place !

We did this exact same thing on Sunday! Had partner’s family round for a bbq, made shit loads and enjoyed it all the way until Wednesday plus have them a doggy bag to take home 😀

Definitely not normal. The expectation for a BBQ is to massively over-cater and everyone eats just a bit more than they expected to because the food is there and available, and the leftovers are a signal that everyone was well fed. However there are a lot of people struggling with CoL and the amount of food left over after a traditionally over-catered BBQ might be upsetting to someone who needs to scrimp every penny to get 3 meals a day onto the table for the rest of the week.

Or maybe one of them is trying to stick to controlled calories and knew they would accidentally eat far too many sausages if the standard overcatering plan was in play.

And if you are asking people how much of anything they would eat it does rather indicate that there would not be seconds. Else why ask in the first place !

It’s not clear when they asked OP.

But if you are thinking of chicken, lamb, burgers and sausages, and when you ask, no one says they want lamb, you leave that one in the fridge/freezer/shop. Doesn’t mean that you don’t have more food on hand.