craziest conspiracy theories someone you know believes

[Lelophants]

That we all died in 2021

I was walking down the street the other day-i think i was walking to work

I had my earfones in and pulling my granny shopping trolley behind me when some bloke jumped out on me and started ranting about chemicals in the plane 'trails'

He was heading to the council offices apparently to rant at them

He freaked me out so badly when he jumped out at me,I almost hit him with my trolly

I also had a friend who believes that earth and everything on it is some alien kids science project

If I hear about 'jars on a shelf' one more time I will scream

Me too, didn't recognise her after a while, total personality change.

I got in a taxi last year and the driver started talking about chem trails, how “They” send planes up to do it. It was all mixed up with cloud seeding. It was actually a little bit fascinating to meet an in real life conspiracy theorist.

They live amongst us and the fact they can hang out online with other people who think the same makes it all worse.

The thought that the idiots in Westminster (& Stormont & Holyrood & Welsh Assembly) are deliberate sinister replacements is somehow even more depressing than believing they are common or garden muppet human politicians! If they are our alien overlords then they are a rubbish life form.

If only the ones in charge had been replaced by competent people maybe I could believe that one. I don’t think this conspiracy is true..

This was reported in Metro newspaper in the last year - just the one time, mind. I can find the link if you like.

Russell Casse got his revenge though 👍

I have always loved this idea- that the aliens are all like ‘right, well- we are done with the probing now so we’ll just pop you back in your car. Off you go, byeeeee! 🤪

I see you've met my mother.

I quite enjoy a good conspiracy theory as often they start with a smidge of truth and then snowball. I’m intrigued by people who don’t really know when to stop running down the bunny hole!

Having said that I know a perfectly normal person who believes the government places listening devices in lampposts. She also tried to convince several of us that after having the Covid vaccine she was ‘magnetised’. She ‘proved’ this by sticking a 50p piece to her arm. Genuinely she’s the loveliest person and quite responsible but seems to fall for some mad stuff.

When is it due to start working?

My brother in law is into all the conspiracy theories. He keeps telling us to "do our research". Big news is always just around the corner - nothing he forecasts ever happens but it doesn't seem to discourage him.

I know a President who thinks he’s a doctor…

King charles is descended from dracula

An old friend of mine had two children with an ex partner who refused to allow them to be vaccinated. They both grew up fit and well. A few years later he was in a new relationship, had a beautiful baby and ensured the child was fully vaccinated. The child developed numerous serious health and development issues and sadly passed away aged 8.

My friend is a wonderful person, intelligent and rational. But the loss broke him and he became convinced that vaccines were responsible for his daughter's death. He became extremely mentally unwell during COVID. Seeing everyone he knew and cared about taking vacations that he was convinced could kill them took a massive toll on him. He became a recluse and went down just about every rabbit hole going. Very sad.

🤣 amazing 🫣🤣

I had a good friend who went on and on about chemtrails in the sky.

He was an airline captain, who specialised in teaching meteorology to student pilots.

I used to work with a woman who believed everything was a simulation kind of like the matrix. But no one else was real, we were all just code. She smoked a lot of weed in her free time with her hippy boyfriend who also believed this. Sometimes it would freak me out a bit as she would talk about how nothing mattered because it wasn't real. She would talk about how murder wouldn't matter because none of us were real anyway.

I met a stoner who believes in simulation theory. That one’s a mindfuck especially if you’ve been smoking.
oh and honoury mention for the sheer stupidity of it - ghislaine maxwell kidnapped Madeline McCann from the Algarve.

"research"

Conspiracy loon code for "pollute your brain with the same totally unqualified internet shite I have".

Call's this reaction to mind - Donna Noble on being told she's currently saved in a computer.

Whenever I hear about people being abducted by aliens and subjected to probes I think about country type TV shows where they catch birds in nets, put them head first into little tubes to weigh them and blow on their tummies to find out if they are male or female then imagine them going back to their feathery mates and telling them they've been abducted by aliens and probed...

A few former colleagues are anti vaxxers and believe all the Covid conspiracies too

I have a friend who believes that illness and bad luck should be shared out in a kind of turn taking system so that everyone in the community "does their bit". She does have some physical problems and says that illness shoudl be shared out so that no one has perfect health. Everyone should have something to cope with. She recently had a run of bad luck with a few things going wrong. None of them her fault. Then she had a bad leak and became almost hysterical saying that one of her neighbours should have had it instead. That people on "the estate" were not taking their share. She seems to think that there is someone up there handing out misfortune and she is getting more than other people. I reminded her that there are people in Iran and Lebanon getting bombed.