Is anyone else struggling after going down Epstein files rabbit hole

[Strugglingafterseeing]

I feel so upset and disturbed. I didn't want to see and read the things I have but I just couldn't look away from the horror. I think part of me was hoping to come across something that says it's all fake news. It's all exaggerated and made up. But it isn't is it? It's probably not even the half of it.

Perhaps very naively, I thought the files "just" involved girls of 14/15 being trafficked among all the other corruption. I had no idea how much more there was. The horrors that have come to pass and no doubt are still are still happening while these monsters remain shielded by their money and power.

Is anyone else really struggling with what they've seen and learnt over the last few days? And any advice to try and move forwards now, because ultimately I can't change this and my mental health was already fragile (thanks menopause). I need to keep on going for my own DC. I'm angry and so, so sad that humans are capable of this.

My Instagram is meant to be funny reels about dogs and menopause but now I'm being fed more and more about Epstein. I know it's the algorithm effect because I've watched similar content but now I need it to stop. I've logged out for the time being. Might not go back. I don't think our brains are meant to able to deal with all this.

Those poor babies. How on earth can this be real

I want to know when the police are planning to bring Andrew in for questioning.

Whilst it’s likely much of what people are seeing on SM is sensationalised and fake (e.g. claims of cannibalism) the truth is these men raped children. That’s a fact. It’s a fact that women and children suffered immeasurable harm at the hands of these monsters and the claims don’t need to be sensationalised because they’re fucking awful enough as is.

Oh gosh I absolutely agree that it doesn’t need to be sensationalised, it’s already horrendous enough.

I was just trying to understand if the detail within the DOJ files is genuine. But clearly it is and I wish I could unsee some of it. This is a huge elite paedophile ring and it’s just shocking that there is yet to be any accountability.

As another poster said, let’s start with Andrew…

Trump fans & republicans are claiming that some of it has been falsified eg the sections that show reports that he raped a 13 year old girl, took part in orgies with 16 year old girls and had 9 girls murdered on his estate.

If indeed this info on the DOJ website is all accurate, why hasn’t he been arrested? I’m not grasping it? Are we saying there’s still a huge cover up taking place?

I suspect a lot of it is lies and fake videos, the stuff that has been released is all available and has been looked through and reported on, anything else is the usual conspiracy theories and looney tunes.

When there are sites I don't want to see I use a site blocker for a while

Name changed for this post.

TRIGGER WARNING CSA.

This is my perspective as a survivor of Rochdale Social Services (not the grooming gangs).

I was removed from one abuser my BM and I know SS strongly suspected CSA before the age of 4. They handed me to another peadofile who abused me between 11-13. I experienced another sociopath DV/rapist between 15-19 and an EXH at 21-23 and another rapist nurse at 31. I am fortunate that in my late thirties I met a decent man who does not make any sexual demands of me and shows me what genuine love is.

When Jimmy Saville was first named I remember standing in the supermarket cue. A woman in front saying all these women were liars and just trying to cause trouble. Then more of the truth came out, my abuser AF admired Jimmy Saville hence this was triggering. I needed to know what was being said to prepare myself to hear the conversations.

When the Three Girls came out, the same I forced myself to watch it knowing it would be a topic of conversation of those around me. People knowing I had links to Rochdale would mean they would ask my opinions.

I shall not be reading the Epstein files although following mainstream media for the same reasons it is a huge topic of conversation. I mistakenly read one of MN links that brought me to a satanic ritual page involving the babies hearing the mothers cry, I shall not repeat the rest of the sentence.

It is difficult to always know what is going to trigger the flashbacks. I know some of them the smell of lavender, Simpsons TV program, my birthdays and Christmas. The way I prepare myself is beware of what people will be discussing that has been reported, this is my survival mechanism. My DH and friends are aware of my history. Although it took me a long time to share and I have still never fully disclosed the acts themselves due to shame.

I had shared some of details while drunk once had someone who I thought was a friend. After she attended a safeguarding course she informed me I was lucky not to have been raped by my AF. I was actually and experienced the horror of my first smear test from the nurse who had know me as a child commenting on the scaring in womb was due to my choice of having sex to young. Obviously heard what a promiscuous liar I was. There is more I could say however it would be outing, there are those who think the girls deserve it for being from the wrong homes. Including females who were in the Labour WhatsApp group (I know this as she made comments to me personally). I actually named her to friends hours before they were all named in the press.

I think the victims/survivors have a right to share the details of experiences when and if they are ready. Please do not speculate at what degradations they experienced. I think people should be aware of it and try to understand the monsters wear masks as charming decent humans including the female abusers. Do not give the abhorrent trolls the clicks. Try and avoid it. Please do not turn away and ignore the horror. The attitudes and victim blaming and cover ups do more damage to the survival (in my case anyway) than the physical acts themselves. The monsters want it swept under the carpet and ignored as do those who turned a blind eye.

Honestly?

I've recently deactivated my Facebook. My timeline was just full of it all (yes I know it's my own fault I too got sucked into the rabbit hole that fed the damn algorithm!) . And I need a break from it.

And I know that might sound a bit callous but it's not that I don't feel horrendous for the victims and the absolute fucked up shit they've been subjected to, nor is it that I don't believe it or think it's hyped up, it's just extremely graphic and depressing. And I just find myself getting more and more angry that the absolute bastards involved appear to getting away with their heinous crimes. 🫠😶

I can't remember which theory it is..but there's one that sort of states the more you know the worse it is...ie. in some cases ignorance is bliss.

If it's negatively affecting you (though completely understandable it is) it's probably better for you to try and take a step back and a break from seeing it.

By "young women" I assume you mean children (because that's what a hell of a lot of his victims actually were)

But then your post does come across as making you the kind of person to excuse these "perversions" 🤔🙄

There was an FBI tips line, anyone could phone in and make an allegation. The FBI followed up (I don't know how thoroughly) and determined which allegations were credible and which were not. All if these details are in the files. It does not mean the allegations are true, just that they have been recorded.

Its difficult to trust that the claims were investigated properly because there has been such a concerted effort to prevent the files being released and the files seem to have been redacted to protect powerful people, some of whom are no doubt guilty of heinous crimes.

Thomas Massie isn't giving up though and he's pushing for the illegal redactions to be removed.

The links direct straight to the file in the DOJ database, I can’t link every single one (there are over 3 million) but you will know if it’s genuine as it will be in the URL. Someone has also extracted each email and created Jmail, where each correspondence appears as though it would have done in Epstein’s inbox (why some screenshots have Jmail not Gmail in them).
That said, I do not recommend you go looking for this stuff. It really is not easy reading and I wish I had not been exposed to it.

Ah thanks that’s helpful, I understand the content of the files now.

I’d say (having just watched the Epstein documentary on Netflix) that I have zero trust in any of the so called ‘investigations’. The scale of the cover up was just shocking. I expect anything involving Trump was covered up/shut down also.

Thank you so much. I just can’t believe some of the stuff I’ve read in there, it’s honestly the stuff of nightmares isn’t it.

The FBI tips line record isn't all the files contain. There's photos, FBI documents, emails and more.

It beats me why, when we all know of the prevalence of AI deep fakes, anyone would look to social media for 'news' of Epstein's and his associates' depravity and somehow expect what they found to be an accurate representation of events.
People love the titillation of a rabbit hole, though.

I think there's an issue of horror fatigue. If there's so much awful stuff online at first you find it horrible, but then you become slightly numb if that makes sense. And then more "mundane" allegations look less bad even though they are evil IYSWIM. And there's a risk people lose interest after a while because you can't sustain that level of horror for ever.

So I don't think not trying to seek out the very worst details means you don't care, quite the opposite. It's enough for me to know children and adult women were trafficked and treated like objects. I don't need to know the exact details. I do think we all deserve to know the names of the men who committed or facilitated the assaults. That's the most important information. And currently it's been redacted. That plus the way the files were released is helping to fuel the overheated speculation. Unredacting the names of everyone except the victims would help.

I am exactly the same as you. Unfortunately most of it is actual file evidence (just with names redacted) and it’s just so awful to think that those evil people will just get away with it. You shouldn’t just ‘not read it’ as it’s endemic and a huge cover up. It’s too horrific for words and I’m struggling to get it out of my head (and off my social media feed) too.

You’re an extremely brave person and I’m sorry you went through this shit.

i have viewed a lot of content on Reddit r/epstein which I think is a reliable and varied source of information.

Every single one of these bastards should be brought to account and the entire Royal Family consigned to history in my opinion - too many people have been complicit in the abuse of children.

I find it particularly concerning and disheartening that these people are still in positions of power and influence in the US - it genuinely is crazy times that we live in.

I hope people are held accountable in time and I hope Trump and his shitty party continue to lose support.

I find it astounding that people feel able to ‘move on’ or ignore this shit - it’s utterly despicable and disappointing and ultimately shows how dumbed down, manipulated, selfish and apathetic a lot of the public has become.

I wish justice and peace for all victims of sexual abuse going forward.

Ah OP I feel the same. I'm a victim of CSA and I just can't look away. I feel devastated for the victims. I feel appalled and rageful about the lack of justice. I'm fucking horrified that people aren't being held to account. I avoid it on social media, but I've read a lot of the files. There is one in particular with loads of bits highlighted in yellow (you will know the one if you've read it) that is haunting me.

It's easy to say look away, but I can't. The sheer scale of what has happened and all the people who must have known is a hard pill to swallow. It's not the same as a stepdad secretly abusing a child (which is obviously bad enough). This is abusers and molesters getting away with this on a public stage because they are rich and powerful. What kind of message does that send to paedophiles and victims?

Where are you drawing the line with conspiracy theorists these days? They think you’re all cattle and treat humanity as such.

the only conspiracy is that they’ve been conspiring against humanity and it’s not over yet as they are still in power

I get frustrated at the “it’s all a crazy conspiracy” people. They are doing exactly what “they” want them to do and just dismissing it all outright. Do I believe everything I’ve read? No. But if even a grain of it is truth then that is already far too much.

Also, let’s not dismiss these potential victims as looney tunes please, not least because there are numerous statements, videos, photos, witnesses etc that can corroborate many of these horrific accounts.

Ah yes, when women and survivors of abuse by rich men are finally being heard its “loony tunes” 😑😵‍💫 as pp says if even a small part of the files are true (and I suspect a lot more than that is) then its abuse and trafficking on a huge scale, with the most vulnerable women and girls being targeted as always and zero accountability.

The further up you go in society, the more corrupt people are - that's how they get to the top.

I'm beginning to think the Qanon conspiracy theories have some substance to them. There’s stuff about bodies being buried at the Zorro ranch in New Mexico after "rough sex" and the FBI not being bothered to investigate.

This is on the Reuter's website now
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/new-mexico-approves-comprehensive-probe-epsteins-zorro-ranch-2026-02-17/