Dds 18 severe misophonia : intolerance to sounds (mainly mine )

[PomandersandRedRibbon]

Can anyone help ?
It's so bad and it's mainly me to the point where is if sit next to her she jumps up angirly.and slams things about. Defiantly can't tolerate my eating and I think it's my breathing as well.
Other sounds like keyboard etc obvsiuky i.can help

She wears headphones slot of the time

Tell her to grow up and stop being pathetic.
However if you chew with your mouth open and breathe loudly I can understand her reaction completely.

This.

What does she do in public and when she’s around other people?

If she can cope around others with her headphones on, she can cope around you.

She will have lots of issues working in an office or socialising in anyway.

I had this about my husband. Absolutely love him but oh my god the noises. I was put on sertraline for unrelated (I thought) anxiety, and it's almost completely gone.

You think it's pathetic that someone has an extreme sensitivity to certain noises?

Why is it mainly your sounds OP rather than everyone's?

Also it wasn't everyone for those people saying what does she do in the world. It was my DH and one woman at work who seemed to masticate like a giant animal. But the visceral physical reaction I had was real. As I say all gone with sertraline.

It’s a condition called misophonia but I’m sure your advice will help the situation.

My son has this, eating is the worst but other body noises are bad too, clumpy footsteps, my knitting needles his brothers noisy breathing. We have to have music or the telly on when he comes out of his room. He cannot ignore it it’s involuntary, you can’t snap out of it or pull yourself together.
I was reading recently that Propanolol helps some people with misophonia as it shuts down the physical fight or flight reaction. I’ve suggested it but he’s very against going to the doctors ( hates talking about his various issues with anyone but especially strangers). I’d love him to try it but it’ll have to wait until he’s in the right frame of mind to sort it out ( he’s 27 so I can’t do it for him!).

Misophonia is often worse around those you are closest too unfortunately.

I’m on propranolol and unfortunately doesn’t help with mine at all. It’s great for anxiety though.

Is she autistic? There is often overlap I believe.

CBT can be helpful for some people but I have to ime it’s not been easy to treat at all. She could try a workbook like this but that would mean acknowledging it’s a her problem and not a you problem…

https://amzn.eu/d/aMOKtP4

its not ok to be rude/aggressive though, there are ways of removing yourself from the situation politely.

Why is it only your sounds?

does her own banging effect her or can she manage with her own sounds but no one else’s?

ear defenders I would recommended. Or maybe a schedule for when she does things in shared spaces.

ie- makes and eats dinner separately to you all, gets up early to get ready and leave for college before you all.

Misophonia is not a condition where the aversion relates only to one person’s noises.

Proper noise cancelling headphones phones as well. I’ve got some soundcore q3 which are excellent. Or seinnheiser or bang olufsen

Has she been formally diagnosed and has she received any professional help, or is there some way she can access that?

I eat away from her and we usually watch TV for blocking out sound

Other sounds affect her like other people typing ,some people's eating and so on

She hates my breathing or nose noise. She can't help it it's a disorder but obviously as her mum it's very upsetting for me also and adds a lot of stress to any joint meals

Her reaction is one of extreme anger and banging things or storming out the room and yes I know it's not personal but it's hard to tolerate and escalates the mood in any situations because her younger DC is also quite stressful to be around

I've looked at the two meds mentioned and I don't think she would be keen to go on them at this stage

I'm hoping someone mentions some kind of therapy or even hypnosis may r

Misophonia can absolutely relate to only one person's noises.

I have misophonia, it was particularly bad as a teenager with certain family members. Please don’t be angry with your child- no one would choose to find certain noises so uncomfortable or create it as a barrier between them and a loved one. It’s a weird thing in the brain that people don’t choose to experience.
Please look up misophonia-uk.org for more guidance.

What helped me was- having radio on at meal times, either talk radio or classical music, just background sound so my brain didn’t focus so much on eating sounds. Being allowed to sit further away from the person who made the sounds when eating that I found difficult. On particularly bad days or if I was generally stressed, wearing ear plugs or headphones at meal times (I didn’t do that often, as I understand it would be rude, but if I was finding it very anxiety provoking to have to sit through meals, around exam stress or something).
I’ve found therapy for anxiety and distress tolerance etc has helped me understand whats happening with misophonia and know how to cope with it better as I’ve grown up.

Does she use loop headphones or have white noise through her headphones?

Maybe her own armchair so you’re not next to each other and only eating in the kitchen so she has an awareness that going into the kitchen means she might hear eating sounds.

Ultimately your mum so you are her safe person so she will get annoyed at you easier and faster as she feels she can remove her mask around you… You might need to get her to see a specialist to get some practical lifelong solutions to cope when a noose bugs her

@localbutterfly no who would diagnose this

Re help this is why I'm casting around here

She has ear phones for a few years and i think they have made her worse

Bloody hell how loud are you breathing? Unclog your nose, or open your mouth or something. Are you old OP and can’t hear yourself?

My misophonia started with one person, then it spread...

You do kind of have to learn to live with it. I find it's worse when I'm stressed. I use headphones a lot, in the office or public transport. Ive explained to my family, friends and colleagues and they are kind enough to stop doing something if I ask - weirdly that means I can cope better, possibly because im less stressed anticipating the trigger and knowing that I can ask.

An obvious starting point for you would be to not sit next to her. That's a small accommodation.

She can't help her reaction. It's overwhelming. I feel sheer rage and disgust, I want to rip your head off and hurl it through a window. I can only breathe through it and remove myself.