Dds 18 severe misophonia : intolerance to sounds (mainly mine )

[PomandersandRedRibbon]

Can anyone help ?
It's so bad and it's mainly me to the point where is if sit next to her she jumps up angirly.and slams things about. Defiantly can't tolerate my eating and I think it's my breathing as well.
Other sounds like keyboard etc obvsiuky i.can help

She wears headphones slot of the time

When my oh scrapes his cutlery or connects when cutting food on his plate... it gives me a visceral reaction. Loops help me with this for sure.

I have this just occasionally, usually with slurping or eating noises. It can happen really randomly, eg a guy on a bus near me sucking his teeth or something. But towards the end of my last relationship it happened a lot with my now ex (who was a bit of a sloppy eater). It didn’t affect me when we got together but then it started to and I couldn’t eat in the same room as him when it struck. I was (aside from the relationship breakdown ) under a huge amount of stress at the time.

its completely unbearable when it happens. I do my best to remove myself politely from whoever it is, but it takes a lot of effort not to react badly. It does feel completely involuntary. I want to scream, or chew my own arm off.

… and I remember the relief when I discovered it had a name and was known condition. Because it seemed completely bonkers, I couldn’t understand my own reaction.

Please research misophonia.

@Wbeezer When they both set each other off… argh! Totally get where you are coming from. DS2’s vocal stims meant we built an outside cabin for DS1 to escape to.

Yes, it is recommended to wear headphones for noise intolerance for the shortest time possible as if they are routinely worn hearing just adjusts so a person just becomes more sensitive to sound. Tinnitus uk has some info on misophonia eg CBT

Don’t be angry? She’s throwing a tantrum and frightening people that’s not justified!

This. I’d be asking her to leave if she kept this behaviour up

NHS guidance including trying not to be too reliant on headphones, https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hyperacusis/

How fucking rude are you?

she needs to learn to control it. And wear the strongest Loop-type earplugs she can find.

Because the world is not going to put up with her the way you do.
She needs to stop stropping around, if she doesn't like normal regular noise (assuming you are not a revolting chomper) she has to remove herself.

push off with the ageism.

If the daughter has really got misophonia, i sympathise. But it is her condition, and she cannot control the world. She must find coping mechanisms.

Oops I suggested Loop ear plugs but then read that this has made it worse.

It’s interesting how many people don’t understand misophonia.
OP, while I totally sympathise with your DD, she needs to hold on her reaction. She can quietly get up and walk away, she doesn’t need to be dramatic about it. Tell her how her reaction is making you feel.

I have misophonia - triggered mainly by my Mum, and now by my husband. The internal rage is a horrendous feeling - I do the best I can to control it with breathing, making sure there’s some sound on the tv/radio during meals etc. Headphones never worked for me because then it was like my own eating sounds were amplified and I couldn’t stand that either.

My husband is really understanding about it, and he’ll automatically turn the tv up a couple of notches at mealtimes, which doesn’t always help, but the concession helps to dissipate my rage (my brain can be trained to separate the trigger sound from the person, if that makes any sense).

My mum wasn’t as understanding. While I always tried hard to control my reaction, my sister also has misophonia and would react angrily. My mum, somewhat understandably, always said “Well you get angry even when I’m trying, so why shouldn’t I just eat how I want?” and would then eat as loudly as she could to make a point. As the one who really tried to control myself, this was absolutely awful for me to have to sit through, and even now I find it almost impossible to be in a room with her when she’s eating.

I do sympathise with both of you, but ultimately it is up to your daughter to develop coping strategies.

I've had misophonia all my life, I want to cry or scream or run away if someone eats noisily or sniffs a lot. I tend to remove myself from situations that upset me and I've taught myself not to react to situations I can't change.
The person I struggled with most was my mum. I tried to explain how I felt but she made worse noises on purpose. I think it was all wrapped up in our difficult relationship.
I hope you can persuade your son to talk to his GP.

This. But on mn it seems that the dd should be able to make all the noise and abuse she wants as it’s her right, but no one else is allowed to even breathe its abusive to the dd!

So is it/was it ok for you to stomp around and be noisy and moody though?

Oh god, ignore the nonsense about abuse etc from posters who jump in with absolutely no knowledge.

My DD15 is like this and particularly bad when she is stressed - GCSE year so at a high level. She explained it to me as rage and I looked into it and it is true that the noise causes extreme feelings of anger. It is a thing. I've never thought about support for her until this year but I do think she needs something as it is horrible for her, I can see that. She is also wondering if she is neurodivergent and this is part of that.

I can't offer advice, but can definitely empathise. I do think they kick off with us because we are safe and they are close to us. I am fine with it, not planning to kick her out or tell her she is abusive (yawn).

Go off and read about it for 5 minutes before posting?

This might be helpful to read

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c04vx47gx91o.amp

From the Boots website, for those who jump in first and have a think later:

In most cases, the symptoms of misophonia are identified first in childhood or early adolescence. From anxiety and irritation to disgust and anger, people with misophonia may experience a range of negative reactions in response to their particular trigger sounds.

Sometimes, individuals with misophonia may display verbal or even physical aggression towards those making the trigger sound, although this is more common in children than in adults. There may also be involuntary physical symptoms caused by the nervous system, such as sweating, muscular tension and an increase in heart rate.

Go off and read wbat?
selfishness of a person who has the attitude of “I can do and act how I want, you have to act and do what I want”? How bloody abusive is that attitude!

When will I learn to stop interacting with eejits!

So you’re an advocate of “if I assault and abuse you… look what you made me do”….