What does this school mum actually think the rest of us are queuing for??

[aperolspritzbasicbitch]

In general I arrive at my child’s school for pick up about 5 minutes before the playground gate is opened. Not on purpose, it just happens that sometimes the walk is quicker than others. Sometimes I’m the first one there, sometimes there are a few people in front, and others join the queue behind me.

One particular mum will turn up bang on collection time (fine) and just walk past the queue of people patiently waiting and stand right in front of the gate.
As if we aren’t all there for the same reason.

It actually baffles me that she seems to think that her need to collect her child is any greater than the rest of us, but so far haven’t said anything because I can’t be arsed with any playground drama, although yesterday I was tempted to side step in front of her just as the gate was open.

is this not just straight up rude behaviour?

Exactly. This is why people are now forming single file queues in pubs. Madness. No chance I'm respecting that kind of queue either

Ha, this is me waves

I'm not standing in a crowd at the back, im moving up into a gap. Makes no odds to any of youse, so that's what I'm doing.

I'm not always last, sometimes I'm first. And if anyone joins from the back, good on 'em! (Unless you crowd me, then get lost.)

Frankly, I'd never considered anyone would give a shit. Now I know people do... I'll carry on, because it's not a queue. It's a group, and by necessity of a lack of space, the parents are pretty maids all in a row.

Genuinely , why queue- I don't understand. Please give me any logical reason for this behaviour?

OP I can’t believe all the people who are disagreeing with you! I would find her queue jumping hugely annoying. Why can’t she just go in after everyone else who was already in the queue? (Whether or not the queue is ‘irrelevant’ as some people say, is in my opinion: irrelevant! A queue is queue, now get in line, please!)

There was a lady that would always do this outside my sons nursery, we would all queue at the door, for them to be let out to the parent one by one, this woman would always walk past everyone and stand as if she was at the front. Surely if you want to be at the front, get your backside out of the door five minutes earlier? I never said anything to her, seemed quite insignificant but definitely thought cheeky cow everyday.

That's completely different. That was a queue.

If she didn't want to acknowledge it then she'd stand anywhere in its vague vicinity or walk in after the gates had opened. Instead she absolutely does acknowledge it.

Oh my god people queue at DD's school like this and it's ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS. I stand off to the side of this massive, pointless queue and walk in whenever I feel like it. Sometimes I'm early, sometimes I skip the queue altogether but I ignore it 100% of the time. Pointless queueing actually really grates on me.

As soon as everyone walks in we disperse across the massive school grounds, it isn't first-come-first-served and the gates are big enough for 3 people to walk in at the same time, yet people still insist on patiently queueing. It's weird and sheepy.

I get that we're all socially conditioned to queue for things, and that's fine, whatever makes you happy but don't tire yourself out getting cross at someone who doesn't support your urges.

So one must always queue even if the queue serves no logical purpose or benefit to anyone? Could there be anything more British 😂😅

We do understand. They queue because they've been programmed to queue, even when there's no sensible reason to form a queue.

And then when a rational woman comes along and doesn't bother joining the queue, she becomes the focus of daft mob fury.

Oh God I really hope our school doesn't have a queueing system, if it does then I'm probably this mum, people sort of hang around in little groups and all troop in together when the gate opens because there is no need is there, you're queuing just to wait around again.
If the kids are all just let out at the same time, maybe she thinks you're all nuts for doing it and is making a point about you all lining up like kids to be let into a waiting area.

No you don't have to queue - stand out of the line, find a comfy seat somewhere, arrive after the gate has opened...other options are available that don't involve walking to a top of a queue and then queuing some more.

We have two sets of double doors: people queue in front of each one (trailing off to the left/right as appropriate). Sometimes I queue, sometimes I stand bang in front of the doors, well aware of the queues, and just file in between the queuing people. We are all queuing to go inside to the cafeteria where children come in as/when they're released from the classrooms. It makes zero difference whether you queue or not, you're still going to be waiting inside where it's a mad scrum. People queue outside because it's a busy street and the pavement is just about wide enough for the queueing people + 1 pedestrian. Otherwise, everyone would mill about in concentric circles probably (as they do at the back gate).

Like the proper hypocrite I am, I always huff at other people who queue barge; and when I queue barge I think people standing in the queue are idiots for queueing up to join a mad scrum. Depends on the day. Over an entire decade I haven't paid as much attention to it as I have reading and replying to this thread.

But why do you line up? Why not just gather loosely by the gate? How many people are in this line?

Sounds like a pointless queue, and makes no difference if this mum joins the queue or doesn't.

How thick and stupid do you have to be not to know what a queue is?

You say you don't like drama but l think you and some of the parents should get together and shout "Do you mind getting to the back of the queue please"

Perhaps she was brought up in a country where queueing was unheard of or banned.

I lived in Australia yonks ago in Sydney y And people hardly ever queued. The were hugely ignorant and ill mannered and waiting for a bus was like rent a mob.

You pointlessly queue.
She pointlessly walks to the front.
Neither affects the other at all so why care? You'll all get your kids whenever they come out.

As an autistic this thread is the most mumsnetty and also the most absurd social etiquette conundrum that has ever existed. This debate right here is a perfect metaphor for how absurd social rules appear to us neurospicy folks.

why? You're just insisting that they must walk through after/ at the back of the queue. This is just another way of enforcing a pointless queuing order.

What difference does it make to anyone if she is at the front or the back though?
Everyone is just going to walk through the gate and go and get their child 😂

If it makes no difference to pick up then, personally, I wouldn't be bothered.

As much as yes indeed you do all bizzarely queue to get through the gate. It is a ludicrous thing to do. And somehow become accepted. I’d do as she does, walk to the front and think you were all a bunch of loons.

Well someone has to be the last one through the single person gate - might as well be the person who doesn't care about queues.

I reckon it’s like the school mum clique drama, they all revert to childhood and think they are at school and need to behave like children.

imagine bloody queueing. 😂

Hmm. I can see why this convention has come about but aside from causing offence if you don’t observe it, it probably doesn’t make that much difference. I’m not surprised people judge her for her lack of awareness. I’m also wondering if she thinks the convention is a bit silly, as it doesn’t seem to impact the order of things. What happens if people get chatting to people they know, out of interest? Do they have to move to the end of the queue?