Things that never seem to happen to other people

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Eating your own hair, particularly when out in a restaurant

Items flying out the pestle and mortar all over the kitchen when you're trying crush spices

Biting the side of your mouth or tongue ruining the rest of the meal

Trying to get into the house with your car key

When wearing a scarf, the label always seems to find its way to the front of the scarf, looks terrible

Flyaway hair when wearing jumpers or scarves (with the label showing)

What else?

I have the scarf label thing too!

I would say trying to use my Oyster card type thing to open the doors at work and trying to use my credit card instead of my Oyster card, but I’ve seen loads of other people doing this too, and once a colleague of mine even tried to use a wrapped (unused) sanitary towel instead of her Oyster card; another friend mistook a beer mat in her pocket for her passport.

Clasp of a necklace always winding round to the front

I spend ages blow drying my hair and straightening it, within an hour it's frizzy and wavy and when I go outside it blows everywhere yet some people seem to be out on a windy day and their hair doesn't move!!

I seem to spend every free minute cleaning and it still looks messy 24/7 whenever I visit people their house is immaculate always.

This!

I think all of those happened to me this week.
I also have losing my phone 15 times a day.
Never being able to find the car keys.
One black sock in the white wash every time.

Oh this as well!

Ants crawling into ears and little gnats into mouth. I don't have bags flying out my yoni, so I guess that's something to be thankful for

Attempting to put some food into my mouth and somehow missing. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Finding ten different socks, not one with it’s twin…

I bite my cheek regularly, especially if it has happened once recently.

farting when bending down

Tripping over a low step

Being sick on public transport

Walking and your foot falls over sideways all of a sudden and you trip , happened today when going to get into the car

Stupid little curls sticking up like horns either side of my fringe. I bloody straightened it this morning. It has no business acting up like that,and I never seem to see anyone else's hair doing that.

I often try to tap my bank card to unlock my front door. In all fairness, I don’t leave the house every often and if I do it's to get shopping in.

Spilling food down my boobs. I go out with my lovely immaculate female friends regularly and they never miss their mouths.

That actually sounds quite cute!

When I used to wear tighter skirts, they would turn around on my waist as I walked.

Trying to pay for shopping with my Leap card instead of my debit card. Holding up the queue when getting on the bus cause same Leap card seems to be the slowest one to tag on ever.

Last time I did that a couple of weeks ago, I shoved my phone in my gob and took a photo to prove to DP that I practically had chunks of mouth hanging off. (It's not my fault the photo made it look smaller…)

(Tagged sensitive for the delicate of eyes/stomach.)

Tried to switch on the tv with my mobile phone and cursed it aloud for not working.

Going for a wee in a long skirt and missing the “complete skirt lift” dunking part of it in the loo water 🤮.

Oh god this, yes clothes that change their position throughout the day

Also this is quite embarrassing but when wearing a jumper or something, hair that falls out my head somehow ends up in the armpit area of the jumper, with static, making it look like I have hairy armpits outside of my jumper?

Hair getting caught under your bag strap as you hoick it up so you spend ages trying to wriggle free while walking along with your head yanked down to one side.