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Original poster

Is this a creepy age gap

61 replies

Lilllypad11 · 25/12/2023 01:46

I met someone on tinder. Got chatting. He’s 39. I’m 28. My friends said it’s a bit strange. Mainly because I will not go for a man younger at all.

thoughts?

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 26/12/2023 06:31

I'm 37 and dh is 54. And we have a very healthy 15mo baby. It's only creepy if you are weirdly seeing it that way, in which case don't get with him. Age is just a number if you've found the right person

LynetteScavo · 26/12/2023 07:37

I thought the "rule" was half your age plus seven, so it seems fine to me.

lemmein · 26/12/2023 07:40

I don't think it's 'creepy' but my DD was in the same age gap relationship when she was 27 and they looked 'odd'. Not helped by my DD being very petite and looking a lot younger than her years whilst her EXDP looked a lot older - in fact he looked older than her DF!

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Nomagicflute · 26/12/2023 07:41

No its very normal. I'd just be considering what baggage/past he has and if that suits what you want out of life.

RampantIvy · 26/12/2023 07:43

Age is just a number if you've found the right person

For now.
Will you still be saying that when you are 67 and he is 84?

Fifthtimelucky · 26/12/2023 09:51

My husband and I are 10.5 years apart. We started going out at a very similar age to you and we have been married for over 30 years.

I think a 10 year age gap when you are both over 25 is fine. If you were 18 and 29 it would be very different.

Jacfrost · 26/12/2023 09:55

Not creepy but an over 10 year age gap won't half be apparent once you get older.

Char65 · 26/12/2023 10:07

Jacfrost · 26/12/2023 09:55

Not creepy but an over 10 year age gap won't half be apparent once you get older.

Yes, just this, we've been together 33 years now and I'm 58 and DH is 71 and the age gap really notices now

Gwenhwyfar · 26/12/2023 10:12

MissTrip82 · 25/12/2023 06:00

Not creepy, but maybe not ideal if you want children. Partly because at that late age he’s avoided it so far with women his own age, and partly of course because the poor quality of an ageing man’s sperm affects the likelihood of a healthy pregnancy.

On the contrary, a man her own age might want to put it off because as a man he can, but a man pushing 40 is going to be ready, if he ever does want to have children.

Char65 · 26/12/2023 10:13

RampantIvy · 25/12/2023 15:44

It isn't creepy, but all the posters with large age gaps with their partners are lucky that their partners are in good health - for now.

DH is only 7 years older. He has had a stroke and cancer, had sleep apnoea and memory issues. I now do 99% of the driving because he will only do motorway driving to places he knows the way to, and won't even drive to the supermarket.

I have to do all the life admin because it doesn't occur to him.

Basically, I now carry the mental load for everything.

This is true and the older you are the more you are likely to experience ill health but we are friendly with a couple - an ex-male colleague of my DH who is 74 and his second wife is 54 and she looks older as she has a physical illness and can hardly walk, her DH has to look after her so you never know in life.

Char65 · 27/12/2023 13:51

Gwenhwyfar · 26/12/2023 10:12

On the contrary, a man her own age might want to put it off because as a man he can, but a man pushing 40 is going to be ready, if he ever does want to have children.

Show quote history

That was certainly the case with me! My DH was desperate for a family! He has established his career and really wanted to settle down whereas b/f my own age had not interest. I was 25 when we married and he was 38 and I became pregnant on our honeymoon! One of the thing that appealed to me about an older man was he was serious, mature and not a player. he was quite clear when we started dating that he wanted a serious relationship.

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