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Original poster

Is this a creepy age gap

61 replies

Lilllypad11 · 25/12/2023 01:46

I met someone on tinder. Got chatting. He’s 39. I’m 28. My friends said it’s a bit strange. Mainly because I will not go for a man younger at all.

thoughts?

OP posts:
LadyGwendoline · 25/12/2023 07:38

Mine is 24 years older than me! Why on earth would it be “creepy” as two consenting fully grown adults? Mind boggles.

Mercurysinretrograde · 25/12/2023 07:59

Not creepy. My DH is 12 years older than me. Close married friends have a 27 year age gap - 40 and 67. An age gap is only creepy if one party is under 21.

Batlady78 · 25/12/2023 08:04

SirVixofVixHall · 25/12/2023 04:21

No ! Not creepy. When I met DH I was 31 and he was 22. Thirty years later we are still happily together.

Love to hear of this-way-round age gaps! I'm 11 years older than DP, and sometimes need reassurance it will work as we get older.

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C1N1C · 25/12/2023 08:16

This sort of morphed into a "you're not as young as you think you are" post :)

Signalbox · 25/12/2023 08:23

Namechange4234 · 25/12/2023 07:33

Of course NOT creepy but might be challenging in the future eg when hes 60 you'll be 49

I’m intrigued to know why this might be a challenge? My DH turns 60 next year and I’d like to know what to expect.

OctogenarianDecathlete · 25/12/2023 08:42

It passes the "half your age +7" rule.

Can't see a problem

LinnieM · 25/12/2023 08:50

Here come all of the ‘I was 26 and DH was 42’ comments. As if that’s any better.

It’s not creepy as no one is doing anything wrong. I think there’s more than enough men in the world for you to find someone closer in age. If you get along then I guess it’s fine

SirVixofVixHall · 25/12/2023 11:23

Batlady78 · 25/12/2023 08:04

Love to hear of this-way-round age gaps! I'm 11 years older than DP, and sometimes need reassurance it will work as we get older.

Show quote history

I know a very happily married couple of over 30 years where
she is 14 or 15 years older, mid eighties now and he is early 70s . They
adore each other and have loads of fun together .

ThreeTreeHill · 25/12/2023 11:28

No it's not creepy, you are both fully formed adults with I presume a reasonable amount of life experience

Would I particularly be interested in a 39yo at 28? Not really. But it's your life

DoAWheelie · 25/12/2023 11:31

Focus on life stages rather than pure age. If you are in different stages then there will be a clash but if you match then it stops being a problem really baring predatory power dynamics.

Are you both in a similar place with similar goals for the next 5 years?

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 25/12/2023 11:40

Your friends need to spend less time online and stop listening to ranting teenagers wh I think anything above a 2 week age difference is dodgy.

You're both competent adults. It's fine.

girlfriend44 · 25/12/2023 12:13

Needsomesupport84 · 25/12/2023 06:02

People seem overly hung up on age gaps these days - just another sign of rigid black and white thinking. Unless one party is a teenager, I don’t give a crap.

Agree. How naive are they. Plenty of people the same age break up, so that should tell them something.

Batlady78 · 25/12/2023 13:57

@SirVixofVixHall that's good to hear! I hate the fact I'm going to be (a young!) sixty before he's even 50! I guess as long as we're happy together, that's all that matters ❤️. Merry Christmas!

Megbryan · 25/12/2023 14:36

Only if the guy is creepy. Use your head.

Doggonames · 25/12/2023 15:33

I don’t think it’s creepy.

I know someone who is late 20s, and has a young baby with a 50 year old. And the man’s child is mid 20s. Bit weird to me, but if you’re happy you’re happy.

RampantIvy · 25/12/2023 15:44

It isn't creepy, but all the posters with large age gaps with their partners are lucky that their partners are in good health - for now.

DH is only 7 years older. He has had a stroke and cancer, had sleep apnoea and memory issues. I now do 99% of the driving because he will only do motorway driving to places he knows the way to, and won't even drive to the supermarket.

I have to do all the life admin because it doesn't occur to him.

Basically, I now carry the mental load for everything.

GreySantaRabbit · 25/12/2023 16:16

I was 38 when I met my DH who is 16 years older than me.

my parents had 13 years difference and met when my mother was 18 so dad was 31... I still found that creepy even though it was my own parents!

Berlinlover · 25/12/2023 16:41

It’s fine. I had a lovely relationship with a 52 year old when I was 26. Now I’m 47 and my partner is 68.

blackpanth · 25/12/2023 16:58

Not creepy at all

YouJustDoYou · 25/12/2023 17:15

He's only 39, fgs. That's not creepy at all.

Char65 · 25/12/2023 18:21

seenisambol · 25/12/2023 05:14

I don't think it's creepy but I dated someone who was 38 when I was 25 and it became quite apparent that a big part of the reason he was attracted to me was because I was a "younger model". The generational difference between us was undeniable and I think we were both kidding ourselves that we had more in common than we really did. I also found it quite weird that he'd had this whole other life before me when I was still fresh out of uni. Eventually he ended it because he wanted to get married/have kids and I was nowhere near ready for that.

I don’t think it is creepy if you know your own mind but OMG this post by@seenisambol could be me! I met my DH when I was 23 and he was 36, not only was there a big age gap but he liked the fact he had a young attractive g/f. he was a high earner in The City with a degree and MBA whereas I’d left school with at 16 and TBH we didn't have a lot in common and as said he had a totally different life experience form me and upbring as I was from a modest ordinary home and his parents were well off. We married 2 years later so 38 and 25 and I became A SAMH with an allowance. We had 4 children (I became pregnant on our honeymoon) and after 33 years are still just about together but definitely think he got what he wanted from the marriage which was a 'docile show pony looking after all the domestics' as someone once said to me. That’s not say we’ve not had some really good times and we’ve wanted for nothing – but totally agree with his post.

Beetlebumz · 25/12/2023 21:35

Nope 12 between partner and I nobody cares

ConnieCroydon · 25/12/2023 21:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Londoner89 · 25/12/2023 21:57

Not creepy at all! I was 29 when I met my then 40 year old (now) husband and loving father to our baby!

what is creepy is the age gap between me and a boyfriend who took advantage of me years ago and who lied about his age, I was 21 and he was 41🤢🤢🤢

RedRobyn2021 · 26/12/2023 06:19

Personally I think it's too big an age gap but I know loads of people with disagree