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Original poster

Is this a creepy age gap

61 replies

Lilllypad11 · 25/12/2023 01:46

I met someone on tinder. Got chatting. He’s 39. I’m 28. My friends said it’s a bit strange. Mainly because I will not go for a man younger at all.

thoughts?

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 25/12/2023 01:50

It’s not creepy! He’s not old enough to be your dad, and you aren’t very young.

If you are thinking of a long term relationship, then just in practical terms you don’t want more than a 10 year age gap, and ideally not more than about 5, so you’re at the outer limits of that.

glossylippsthickhips · 25/12/2023 01:54

If you find that creepy my old man is 22 years older than me I'm in my thirties !

cryinglaughing · 25/12/2023 01:55

No

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Fivepigeons · 25/12/2023 02:33

Er... no? Wouldn't even enter my head to consider that gap as creepy. Tbh any two people over 25 and I do feel any age gap is absolutely none of my business.

ughChristmas · 25/12/2023 04:20

At your age I don't think that is problematic at all.

SirVixofVixHall · 25/12/2023 04:21

No ! Not creepy. When I met DH I was 31 and he was 22. Thirty years later we are still happily together.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 25/12/2023 04:59

Both adults of reasonable age. Not creepy at all.

xmas13 · 25/12/2023 05:04

No, I'm 27 and DH is 40

seenisambol · 25/12/2023 05:14

I don't think it's creepy but I dated someone who was 38 when I was 25 and it became quite apparent that a big part of the reason he was attracted to me was because I was a "younger model". The generational difference between us was undeniable and I think we were both kidding ourselves that we had more in common than we really did. I also found it quite weird that he'd had this whole other life before me when I was still fresh out of uni. Eventually he ended it because he wanted to get married/have kids and I was nowhere near ready for that.

TootsyPants · 25/12/2023 05:18

Not creepy at all. I was 28 when I met my husband and he was 40.

VisionsOfSplendour · 25/12/2023 05:39

Your friends think it's creepy that you are taking to someone older than you, really now?

Sandysandwich · 25/12/2023 05:41

It's not creepy. Creepy is for when there is vulnerability like when the younger person is in that very early adulthood age and there is unavoidable power dynamics, and could potentially be someone looking for naivity, inexperience, a person who is financially dependant, innocence, or a literal teenager. Its more about why any grown and experienced adult would be persuing someone so young rather than it being creepy to have an age gap at all.
When you are all adults and nobody is vulnerable then its nobody elses buisness.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 25/12/2023 05:52

Not creepy at all. You’re a fully grown adult who can date whoever you want. You not wanting to date anyone younger is irrelevant. Everyone has preferences.

Trinity69 · 25/12/2023 05:53

Nope. I’m 43 and DP is 57.

Pussygaloregalapagos · 25/12/2023 05:56

Um hope note….. age gapn19 years here…

MissTrip82 · 25/12/2023 06:00

Not creepy, but maybe not ideal if you want children. Partly because at that late age he’s avoided it so far with women his own age, and partly of course because the poor quality of an ageing man’s sperm affects the likelihood of a healthy pregnancy.

DrivingonIce · 25/12/2023 06:01

He's 39, MissTrip, not 59!

Needsomesupport84 · 25/12/2023 06:02

People seem overly hung up on age gaps these days - just another sign of rigid black and white thinking. Unless one party is a teenager, I don’t give a crap.

autienotnaughty · 25/12/2023 06:11

Not creepy but age gaps can mean you are a different life stages making you incompatible. I have a friend who at 23 started seeing a 37 year ol. They had a great time and eventually settled got married and had kids.

The age gap became noticeable when she was mid thirties and he was around fifties. He suddenly seemed very old. They ended up splitting.

Beezknees · 25/12/2023 06:32

I don't think that age gap is bad as long as you're on the same page about what you want from the future.

mapleriver · 25/12/2023 07:30

I think it's creepy/gross tbh, you could have a fit young man your own age 😁

Namechange4234 · 25/12/2023 07:33

Of course NOT creepy but might be challenging in the future eg when hes 60 you'll be 49

Elderflower14 · 25/12/2023 07:34

My late DH was thirty four years older than me!!

Fiery30 · 25/12/2023 07:37

What exactly is creepy about it? It is a person's nature and conversational style that determines creepiness, not an age gap among 2 adults.

Xelda · 25/12/2023 07:37

Not at all! 10 years difference between me and Dh. 12 years for 2 siblings and their partners. Never felt strange!

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