Brooklyn 99

[more vino]

Jake Peralts's Funniest lines

HOT DAMN!!

But if youre here, who’s guarding hades.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

The state of Rosa when she has to do her hangover workout with Holt just knots me

I watched this last night 😄. Loved the eyebrow pump.

Amy: this B needs a C in her A
Jake: what?!
Amy: this babe needs a coconut in her arms...why, what did you think I meant?

The N'Sync line up.

Cool, cool, cool x 10.

And anything with Doug Judy.

Love it all...apart from the last season which was incredibly disappointing. Apart from the coma scene which was great.

Jake: That's not what I meant. No, we have to fight her.
Captain Holt: We're not going to fight her. She's the devil. And you don't dance with the devil because you get burned. Also, because in Madeline's case she has no rhythm, and her hands are like little rat claws.

My favourite intro is the one when they're trying to guess Holt's reaction to tasting marshmallows. I don't know why.

I've watched it loads, like others have said the Halloween heist episodes are the best.

Doesn’t Jake say something about Boyle looking like ‘my little pony with a gun’? That really amused me.

Just yesterday I watched the opening with the Dianne Wiest gag about five times. Not a line as such, but a great Andy Samberg moment.
(NB "Wiest" rhymes with Beast)

Jake: hey Charles, how was your weekend?
Charles: actually I got kinda sick.
Jake: aw, sorry to hear that, man
Charles: Bullets Over Broadway was on, and I caught a bit of a ... Dianne WIEST infection....

(Jake reaction shot: deadpan)
(Charles reaction shot: trying to stay deadpan)
(Jake reaction shot: still deadpan)
(Charles reaction shot: very nearly cracking up)
(Jake reaction shot: still deadpan)

Charles: Like YEAS--

aaaaaaand roll the credits!

“It’s Gina’s phone. Leave me a voice mail. I won’t check it ’cause it’s not 1993"

Jake: “I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.”

Also, anything Pimento says.

I really really want to befriend a pigeon and teach it to can can

That was something Amy said she was doing when she was sneaking onto the roof to smoke 😊

Love 99. And Parks and Rec. And if you like those two you have to watch Schitts Creek. And The Good Place. I've watched all of them more times than I should probably admit.

Holt to Rosa when Wuntch enters his office: I need a witness incase her head starts spinning around or she turns into a she-wolf

Also a big fan of Parks and Rec and Schitts creek, Alexa: No, its your turn to get murdered David 😂

Hah. I’ve been binging Brooklyn 99 again. I really do like it. I particularly like the Halloween Heists and Jimmy Jab episodes. They amuse me

Ron Swanson is fabulous. The scene when he's drunk and dancing...... Best comedy character ever.

I have asked you thrice now for a towel.

Love B99, there are so many great characters, episodes and lines.

My favourite opening is when Jake is saying he knows the team so well he knows exactly what they do with their time, and ends with "and if I jump into Terrys arms he'll catch me" while he does exactly that, making Terry throw his coffee away 😂

Also in the Halloween heist (I think) when Gina disguised herself by wearing one of Amy's suits and says it makes her invisible.

Also, not a line, but Boyles hyperventilating and passing out when he realised Jake proposed to Amy

Love this TiredandLate also when David opens his store and Alexis pops in and says something to him like' your cuticle game is on point' such a throwaway line but typically Alexis

I'm sorry but I have to correct you. N'sync line up?? Backstreet boys my dear

Jake excited to chase a perp over cars in a traffic jam thinking he'll look cool and ends up falling through a sunroof in a very uncool manner 😂

I love Schitts Creek! We regularly repeat Moria’s “the Bebe” when talking about dd2 😂

When David goes missing for days but then says he texted Alexis and they all glare at her 😁

Just remembered when Gina pulls off the ponytail wig 😂 “you don’t think I’d put my actual hair in a ponytail?”

Also a fan of Schitts Creek, seen it so many times!