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Original poster

Please tell me batshit things about your work.

713 replies

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 02/08/2023 11:21

I am unwell and hunkering down with MN and TT for the day.

I’ve just started a new job (today is a day off), it’s all new, I’m not settling in as well as I’d like (I’ve gone from a tiny place to a HUGE one) and I’m kind of hyper-focussed on different work practices right now.

Funny stories will cheer me up.

I’ll start.

At my new work they use poly pockets/polywallets UPSIDE-DOWN!

They go in upside-down and they slide the paperwork upwards into it.

I find it so, so weird. Each time I look at them I’m like, WTAF?

Anyway, that’s mine. Please share yours. Entertain me with batshitness. I beg you.

OP posts:
AppleTurnover1000Degrees · 03/10/2023 23:20

Mmhmmn · 03/10/2023 23:15

Next month vote for yourself. Fuck Alex and fuck your mad boss 😂

I want to say Fuck Alex but my work Alex is lovely and I'd probably vote for him every month.

Not your Alex though. Fuck Off Alex.

wellstopdoingitthen · 03/10/2023 23:53

ManAboutTown · 27/09/2023 13:19

I've been working since 1985 and could probably fill a book with things I've seen and heard - a select few of the best ones.

  • someone who came back from a very long lunch, vomited on their desk and crapped themselves at the same time. All left over the weekend for the cleaners to deal with
  • a Christmas party that ended up at someones home with a gay guy claiming men give better bjs than woman. Ended by demonstrating on another guy on front of several colleagues.
  • an after work Friday drinks where the head of HR attended - he was a nasty little git who'd been making people redundant during the week. One of the FX traders spotted him, walked over, grabbed him by the nuts and lifted him by several inches - saying now you know how it feels
  • guy caught having a wank at his desk by his PA
  • bloke ringing in sick from what was obviously a pub - we could hear the fruit machine noises in the background

Honestly I could fill a book with this stuff

Did you work at no10 during Covid?

red78hot · 15/10/2023 10:35

25 years service and not even an acknowledgement, I guess that serves me right for being on maternity leave at the time. Lunches bought for staff on a Friday due to everyone working hard, but I'm part time, don't work Friday so to use my managers words " well you don't get one then haha"
Brilliant place to work

Miche4Grindah4eva · 18/10/2023 12:37

A few weeks ago, we received a long email about how one part of our organisation was introducing a new 'space'.

Apparently, it's a 'space' to 'connect', 're-centre', 'learn and grow together', 'heal', 'take time for ourselves and each other'. Apparently it is inspired by a 'Swedish culture, approach and state of mind'.

Only it's not a 'space' at all. It's a time slot for getting together over coffee and cake. But it has a Swedish name.
So it's basically a coffee morning. But Sweden.
Okay.

coxesorangepippin · 18/10/2023 13:15

Print out, send by post to our business partners, ask that they sign every page and post them back. 62 pages. To thousands of companies. sustainability policy. Batshit.

^

G5000 · 18/10/2023 14:49

Miche4Grindah4eva my company very much does fika as well, but it's to have a break and chat with colleagues. Luckily nobody has tried to re-brand it as 'healing space' yet.

Limth · 18/10/2023 14:59

G5000 · 18/10/2023 14:49

Miche4Grindah4eva my company very much does fika as well, but it's to have a break and chat with colleagues. Luckily nobody has tried to re-brand it as 'healing space' yet.

As well as the branding as 'healing space' and other bullshit, I just don't see how fika is different from a coffee morning - having a break, having a chat with colleagues over a coffee is just a coffee morning, right?

ErrolTheDragon · 18/10/2023 15:05

Maybe the added bullshit is so that colleagues who work remotely are a bit less jealous of free cake?Grin

G5000 · 18/10/2023 15:05

I would assume it's a Swedish company proud of it's heritage or something - mine is. Otherwise ieven more bonkers, as fika is just a coffee break indeed.

Limth · 18/10/2023 15:09

G5000 · 18/10/2023 15:05

I would assume it's a Swedish company proud of it's heritage or something - mine is. Otherwise ieven more bonkers, as fika is just a coffee break indeed.

Nope. It's a very old, very British university 🙄

But the fika/coffee morning is held in one of the 'newer' buildings which resembles a crumbling 1960s secondary modern. Not remotely chiming with the old, British, elite, stuffy university vibe. But also a million miles away from anything remotely Swedish.

Just cringe all the way around.

Kweenbee · 18/10/2023 15:27

It's an NHS "organization" that would rather spend money on sweets and gift vouchers to bribe, sorry, encourage people to fill in the annual staff survey than improve our actual working conditions. And don't get me started on the bloody pronouns badges. The clinical staff do an amazing job DESPITE all this HR virtue signalling nonsense.

SuperSange · 19/10/2023 01:33

Miche4Grindah4eva · 18/10/2023 12:37

A few weeks ago, we received a long email about how one part of our organisation was introducing a new 'space'.

Apparently, it's a 'space' to 'connect', 're-centre', 'learn and grow together', 'heal', 'take time for ourselves and each other'. Apparently it is inspired by a 'Swedish culture, approach and state of mind'.

Only it's not a 'space' at all. It's a time slot for getting together over coffee and cake. But it has a Swedish name.
So it's basically a coffee morning. But Sweden.
Okay.

Are you in Hampshire? We've recently had this. Fika or something? Bloody coffee and cake. 🙄

ManAboutTown · 22/10/2023 19:25

I've been very restrained and not even started on the DEI bullshit that goes on where I work.

I ignore it and usually manage to sidestep any related training

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