Threads you usually know the answer to in half a second flat...

[PivotPivotPivot123]

Without even reading...

Is this suspicious?
Yes

Is this abuse?
Yes

Is he cheating?
More than likely

AIBU not to give £5,000,000 for a wedding gift?
No

Would you see him again?
No

Is this a red flag?
No. It's probably a fucking parachute

Would you have paid this?
Unlikely

Are they / he / she being a CF?
I'd bank on it

Would this give you the ick?
I'm vomiting already

Any others?!

Should I end the relationship?
(Yes, a long time ago)

Is MIL being overbearing and unreasonable?
(Yes, DH should speak to her)

I don't want to treat my step kids like my other kids, is this wrong?
(No they're not your kids)

Can you see the faint line?
No, there is no line. No, not even with the image reversed. Stop torturing yourself.

Should I eat it?
No

I ate the bad thing am I going to die?
No

Is this a bfp?
yes, obviously, stop showing off (or) no, if you can’t see it no one else can either

Is this an evap?
No, it’s a bfp, don’t be coy

Am I pregnant? I had unprotected sex 2 weeks ago and I’m late
Yep

Who’s the dad?
Literally no one knows

Should I claim child support?
YES!

Oh also... would you give him a second chance?

NO

My boyfriend moved in recently because it's easier for his work and now ... [insert anything]

Door >>>

Do you like this name for a baby?
Mostly not

I have covid , should I go to the theatre /cinema/hen do
No

'My husband went out last night and hasn't come home'

Lots of people get over invested in finding out what happened. 500 'placemarking for an update' replies.
It usually goes one of two ways:

1. Drunk husband turns up unscathed.
2. An increasingly elaborate story unfolds, the OP abruptly vanishes and the thread gets deleted.

Should I buy this house?

No it’s leasehold and they have clearly been keeping goats in the bathroom.

Oh but isn’t it so so cheap for this area?

Yes, because it’s leasehold and they have clearly been keeping goats in the bathroom.

6 months later…
Should I pull out of this house purchase as my solicitor discovered it’s leasehold and the survey said they have clearly been keeping goats in the bathroom?

Yes pull out.

Why won’t my 3 bed semi sell for 50k more than the 5 bed detached on the next street?

The photos show you have clearly been keeping goats in the bathroom. Also the layout is weird and it has the kerb appeal of roadkill. Lower the price and get better photos.

But… isn’t my house obviously worth more? My house has grey scatter cushions!
Sigh..

AIBU, CF or not?

Usually yes and you've not said anything to prevent them taking the piss royally

Upsettingly..

"Was this rape?"

Where did Thread X go?
It got deleted or its trending and you somehow missed it.

Who should pay for dinner?
The person who ate it unless it was the end result of a very hospitable kidnapping

🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you for this

AIBU or is MIL?
Trick question, it’s DH that’s BU!

@WheresMyDodo

"Am I the only one who..."

No. You're not as special as you think you are.

Could this be cancer?

We are not doctors with a full diagnostic suite

Shall I call 111?

Hell yes, get off Mumsnet and do it now

Help me find a fashionable waterproof coat

They don't exist

Are they / he / she being a CF?

I'd bank on it

That one can go either way. Sometimes it’s clear that the OP is a total nightmare and you pity the poor sods she thinks are CF for not bowing down to her demands.

MN in a nutshell 🤣🤣🤣🤣

How much do you spend on …. ?

a range from 0 to a ridiculous amount that no one irl actually spends.

Right, guess there's no point be browsing anymore threads today as this thread has just summed up all of MN

'Why won't my house sell?'

'It's too expensive.'

Here's a light-hearted observation about my kids dinner of sausages and mash and wonders if anyone else had a mildly amusing story to share

MN; why would you eat sausages? they're poison. You should have served organic unprocessed meat you bought from the local butcher you walked to who rears their own animals in the farm attached..... and mash? Just empty calories. Carbs are just sugar.Why is there no veg? Why would you feed your kids this crap? I would have given them organic roast pork, steamed kale, lentils and a glass of water.

Im a SAHM, DH only earns 24K and I dont know what we are going to doooo.
Even with UC I cant afford food now, I cant work as I have 1 DC, heeeeeelp.

Get a job evenings or weekends?
Op ignores all suggestions

Another line eyes one….
You know there’s a line…Feck off

Perfect start to the day -thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣