Bizarre minor injuries

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

I have given myself the tiniest possible burn blister, head of a pin tiny. I cut myself a piece of bread to toast and didn't notice that there was a small blob of jam on the bread board. I toasted it, took it out of the toaster with tongs and then held it to steady it while I buttered and managed to put my finger on the tiny blob of jam that had been toasted to super hot. I yelped and DH thought I had cut myself or something serious.

I once burst a blood vessel in my finger putting on my shoes…

Cut my finger on a tub of margarine and it got infected

I very nearly gave myself a septum piercing with my thumbnail while taking off my top. The crunch still haunts me about 10 years later.

I regularly give myself annoying painful paper cuts by opening blister packets on tablets.

At least once a week. It fooking hurts every time

I have a scar on my arm... from a piece of model railway track.

A frozen duck fell out the freezer on to my middle toe and broke it. Serves me right for eating duck I suppose 😂

Ok Roots. You need to elaborate on that one

I have a permanently bent finger. Kitten attack 😂

Actually, it wasn't funny at the time, the bite got badly infected and I ended up in hospital on a drip.

Complete non accident. I caught my arm on the protruding connector. Scratch wasn't even that deep, just long. And didn't heal.

I once broke my finger-by sitting on it

I broke my toe by tripping on the front door mat-and a year to the day later,I did it again

i once gave my fella a sexy striptease,all was well until I got to my bra-I managed to punch myself in the eye (gave myself a black eye) and fell over,spraining my wrist

i fell off the worlds smallest stool and broke my elbow

I fell over a wet floor sign-that I’d put there 5 seconds earlier

i broke my ankle by falling up the stairs

fell off my child’s scooter (on the morning school run) and gave myself the most lovely hitler tash

my boss has been known to take me to one side to ask if ‘everything ok at home?we can seek help for dv if needed’

after working with me for a few months,the penny dropped that I’m just clumsy and if there is potential for a daft accident,I’ll have it and that my fella is so soft there’s no way he’d hit me

i once gave my fella a sexy striptease,all was well until I got to my bra-I managed to punch myself in the eye (gave myself a black eye) and fell over,spraining my wrist

Sorry. I snort laughed at this

I was once hit in the head with a carrot.

My dh threw a carrot upstairs for me to give to the rabbit. I stood in the bathroom so I wasn’t in direct hit. That carrot managed to bounce off the wall and smack me right in the head.

It stung but I was too busy trying not to wet myself laughing to be bothered

This was 8 years ago and dh still goes “ooo remember that shot I did with the carrot? Fucking brilliant”

This sounds like my sister!

Ds1 broke his finger on a blazer

I'm laughing at giving yourself a black eye while removing a bra striptease style.

Some of these sound very sore. <wince>

I pulled a muscle in my arm washing my hair.

And I broke my foot having sex.

Not me but my partner, we were in the bedroom DtD and kitten saw something dangling as we did. Kitten put an swift end to our fun.

I've also given myself a black eye getting dressed, face planted the bathroom floor recently (tripped over my own feet)

Ok this one is a bit NSFW but I gotta share it.

So me and dh were living with my parents at the time and we were quietly going at it. He suddenly freezes and says “yep. I’ve broke my cock”

I thought he was kidding and laughed a little…to find him pulling out and there was blood everywhere.

I panicked and went to my mum, who also thought I was kidding until dh came limping through with blood all over his hands.

He had snapped his “banjo string”. I did call 111 but he was too embarrassed to do anything about it.

Luckily it’s healed really well.

I injured my back, requiring two weeks off work, months of physio, many drugs to be able to move. Stills flares up if I sit oddly, 5 years on. Still wear a brace.

What terrible event caused this, I hear you ask? I walked round a corner.

I somehow managed to entangle my fingers around a door handle and wrenched my index finger. Months later, it’s still sore.

Tripped over my own wide leg trouser turn up and twisted my ankle

I signed up for Les Mills' on demand videos a year or two ago. During body combat I accidentally kicked a plant pot off the mantelpiece and in my uncoordinated shock, tripped over my own legs. I think I was trying to move to catch it while one leg was still in the air. DH came down to find me on the floor covered in potting mix. He assumed one of the cats got under my feet and jumped to the mantle in a panic, I didn't correct him.

I gave myself a paper cut on the eye moving a sheet of paper on my desk. It stung but I thought it was alright. A couple of weeks later a strip of cornea flipped over on my eyeball where I had cut it. I was out and my friend was so alarmed she had to leave. I flipped it back when I went home but it healed with wrinkles in it. I went to my GP who referred me on and even tho it had nothing to actually do with my eye I was finally diagnosed with a chronic illness that I had been brushed off by said GP.
So my little injury served me well in the end. My eye eventually went back to normal.

Oh I forgot the injury... I broke my knee.