Retorts please to rude man in restaurant

[SK82]

I never eat out. I am a carer and I am never cooked for. Today I enjoyed some messy tacos in a restaurant and as I was wiping my mouth some bald headed man tells me I’ve missed a bit. I feel so cross at him trying to make me self conscious at enjoying a rare treat. He is sitting with two women. He has a loud voice. What can I say before I leave to put him in his place?

I'd say nothing. It's just a joke surely?
I don't find it funny but I don't think he's done anything wrong.

Nothing. I’d assume he thought he was being helpful and had limited social skills or was making a joke along the similar vein to when people ask you to mow their lawn or wash their car when you’re doing yours.

Nothing the moment has passed you’ll just look odd now.

Don't bother. He's an idiot and not worth the head space. Sometimes these blokes just want to get a rise.
I hope you enjoyed your tacos! How about a hot chocolate sundae now? Just enjoy your treats.

What has his lack of hair got to do with anything?

It's a common joke where I'm from. If someone is painting their wall, someone will walk past and say "you've missed a bit". It's the same thing. He's just joking.

I wouldn't take it so seriously, some people feel the need to comment on stranger's actions, but if you have to retort back I'd probably say "No wonder your food doesn't miss that mouth"...

Are you on your own?

I think that's incredibly rude of him. Are you leaving before them?

If you're not alone point at him amd laugh with the person you're with. Get them to turn round, stare at him and burst out laughing.

If you're alone it's trickier.

Just enjoy your food. There is no need to do anything else.

“Thank you, Random Man” would have been good at the time, but you’ll look weird saying anything after the fact. Especially if you’re looking for bald-based insults. Why lower yourself to his level?

Do not do this. It is not only pathetic, its weird advice.

I think his comment is possibly a regional thing. I'd not be surprised to hear something like that.

What a bizarre thread. I would have given him a cheeky grin and continued chowing down.

Perhaps he was pointing out you still had food around your mouth, and clumsily tried to stop you walking around with taco mess on you?

but if you have to retort back I'd probably say "No wonder your food doesn't miss that mouth"...

Gosh, that's really harsh on someone who was really just being jovial and probably meant no harm. You certainly take no prisoners.

I would have laughed and commented on how nice it was. Jesus what a silly overreaction!

That's weird and downright pathetic.

Just laugh and move on OP, no retort necessary, definitely not after time has passed, you'll look bizarre.

Second thread today about a cheery social remark over food said by a man being dissected in a flurry of po-faced offense. Honestly, it's nothing, just crack on with your day.

Had to be done at the time really, but when it happened to me I said, oh I was saving that bit for later.

I probably came across unhinged but at least I was quick

I think that's a great response. Funny and light-hearted in the the same vein as the original comment.

I can't believe how easily people take offence as simple interactions.

I don't think he meant to be rude, try not to give it any more thought

Where's the "po faced offence"? Most people are telling her to ignore it and say nothing.

^^ Surely you would have assumed this first? How is that rude?

I would just say thanks.