Menopause haiku

[learieonthewildmoor]

Oh sweaty woman
Why do you sit in summer
On these vinyl chairs

Winter is coming
The sweaty woman can close
The door of the fridge

Vinyl chairs make me itch
I have wooden ones
Instead.

Fucking summer chairs!! Metal, plastic, sweat itch sweat itch sweat itch. Last week l bought a wooden one. No one is allowed on it!

Sweat itch sweat itch
A sad cycle
Of menopausal misery

Spring is here
Winter is far away
Buy wooden chairs

Oh sweaty woman
Why do you hate summer so
And love wooden chairs

Oh sweaty woman
Your husband shut the window
Leave the bastard now

(That one is a senryu- no mention of a season)

Woman, not yet sweaty
Though wants to kill everyone
And weep. Fuck this shit.

Wood or bamboo
Do not cause sweat
Or itching

I cannot Haiku
But I am miserable
I hate menopause

This thread made me laugh 😆 - no easy feat at the moment!

Last week he was good
This week husband is stupid
I love and hate him

Summer comes
Fan sits in its box
Waiting, ready

Hormones fall
Will I die or will he go
I care not

Whiskery woman
Itching in your Summer dress
Ankles gently swell

@RingofBrodgar

Whiskery woman Itching in your Summer dress Ankles gently swell

love this one

Whiskery woman
Itching in your Summer dress
Ankles gently swell

👏🏼👏🏼

Menopause insomnia
Covid insomnia
My life is sleepless

Too frightened to sneeze
Modibodi are my friend
Fibroids too, what fun

@Coralblimey

Hormones fall Will I die or will he go I care not

God, I'm tempted to get a tattoo with this

Jumper so cosy
Hot as Hades hot
Get bastard off

Easter in Berlin
No-one said it would be hot
Sandals are at home.

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs oh jeez, I realised afterwards it hasn’t the right pattern . Must do better!

April I turn puce:
Swollen, grumpy and tearful.
Awaiting autumn.

Hot flushes
Are power surges
Said no one

The bed linen
Has become a swimming pool
Boobs are killing me

These are all so funny

I feel that sense of outrage and despair of sandals not in Berlin!