Menopause haiku

[learieonthewildmoor]

Oh sweaty woman
Why do you sit in summer
On these vinyl chairs

I look young and cool
The mirror says otherwise
Who is that old hag?

Tired so tired
Even so sleep evades me
Nightmares, sweats pervade

I need HRT
I cannot get Estrogel
It is a sad day

I look young and slim
The mirror says otherwise
Who is this rotund person?

Sweat streaming
Despise all mankind
All bastards

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

These are all so funny

I feel that sense of outrage and despair of sandals not in Berlin!

Thank you @ArseInTheCoOpWindow - I appreciate that you appreciate my situation. My poor, hot, besocked and booted feet!!!

Bedroom ceiling
At 3 am again
Bastarding awake

Trying to diet at 52
Drinking gin
Hate everyone

Am I supposed
To care still bout stuff
Coz I don’t

Damn you weather
Causing my feet to swell
Toes like sausages.

Broken sweaty nights
Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall
Make me want to kill

Summer coming
Sense of dread
Sweat, heat, itch

Approach with caution
This old gal is done with twats
Fury, be unleashed

VaddaABeetch- I call them power surges 🤷🏻‍♀️

These are wonderful - “ankles gently swell” 😂😂😂

@learieonthewildmoor

Used be witty
Now dripping sarcasm
Acerbic only!

I’ve heard power surges, they feel more like being plugged u yo the mains for me!

The sarcasm is me by the way 😁

@Coralblimey it gave me a proper laugh though

She thought she'd got them all but
Bastard chin hair glints
Tweezers out again

Brain fog affects me
Is it the insomnia
Or will it always be

First seen was chin hair.
And plucked out but wait.....
Is this a bastard moustache?

😫

Warm sun on my skin
Early retirement
has its positives, I say

Once a valued pear,
Now an apple... juicy, red
That none want to pluck.

I've got a beard
A big whiskery beard
fuck the menopause

Prickling sweat
Winter’s pearly ‘tashe
Shave it off

Sun looks nice out there
Should I go and do something
Nah, comfy on couch.