Just de-christmassed the house and feel so sad

[bloodywhitecat]

Because DH is asleep in his bed in the living room. All signs of Christmas are gone but all signs of his cancer rapidly taking hold are there. I don't know if I can do this. I keep leaving the room to cry.

Oh op, I am so, so sorry

Hi OP, I have been thinking of you and hoping that Christmas had gone as well as it could for you. You did so well just to bring him home.
No magic words here but I’m sending love and strength. You are often in my thoughts.

So so sorry. Sending you hugs 💐❤️

OP I am so sorry to hear this - you're both in my prayers

I'm so sorry @bloodywhitecat, the only practical thing I can suggest is what I do on the day I take Christmas decorations down, which is to buy a HUGE bunch of flowers, in really beautiful bright colours and scented too (stocks are good). I know it's not what is needed, a recovery, a cure. It sucks. But having blazing flowers in a corner always cheers my living room up when it's newly been stripped of lights and trees

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling, I think of you every now and again and hope you are doing as well as you can.

Do you still have Dot and Small (I think that were their nicknames)

Sorry seems so inadequate to say but I can't think of anything else to say. I am so sorry that you are going through a shit show but "when you're going through hell keep going"! I hope you are getting all the support you need and care for your husband. You have gained numerous sisters on here who will hold your hand all the way! Xxxx

I am so sorry @bloodywhitecat

@bloodywhitecat
Sending love to you.
We had my mum at home so I know how hard it is ❤️
I hope you've got lots of support - our local hospice at home team were amazing xx

@ChimChimeny

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling, I think of you every now and again and hope you are doing as well as you can.

Do you still have Dot and Small (I think that were their nicknames)

We do! Dot had a short holiday when he first got home as there was no care package in place for the first week but she came home in time for us to spend Christmas together. They bring so much joy and chaos Small has learned to climb into the rocking chair by DH's bed and jibberjabber away to him (fair warms my heart does that sight).

Gosh you've definitely got a lot on your plate but it sounds like your fosterlings are a source.of joy for you

DH is sleeping a lot today and refusing food and drink. I think I might phone the hospice for advice.

I'm so sorry to read this I hope you've been able to speak to the hospice.

@bloodywhitecat

DH is sleeping a lot today and refusing food and drink. I think I might phone the hospice for advice.

Oh lovely hand holding for you x

When my DH got too ill to eat, our GP prescribed some meal replacement drinks and DH had those through a straw when he couldn't eat or drink anything else. Has your GP or the home hospice team suggested that?

I'm so sorry OP 💐

I hope the hospice have been able to help.

I'm so sorry OP, that is awful. Just gone to give DH a hug after reading this, really puts things into perspective.

((((HUGS))) to all of you xx

I'm so glad you got him home ❤️

You're incredibly strong & you're doing so well. Have you taken lots of video clips of Small climbing on the chair chatting away to DH? & of all of you?

As someone else suggested, how about putting up other decorations -fairy lights & cosy throws? Bunting...whatever you both like.

I really really hope you get you get your first anniversary in May. 💕. Easter bunny first though, after Valentines Day.

One Day, one hour, one minute... hold him tight xx

Sending you lots of love and the kindest of thoughts. 💐

I don't think I can do this. I am sat by his side and he has mostly slept all day again. This is so sad, do unfair. Why did the stroke have to happen? It has robbed him of so, so much. I hate seeing him like this.

@bloodywhitecat I'm so sorry you are going through this. My sister had a stroke after her cancer diagnosis and it was just unbearable to see really. To be honest I was glad of the days she slept as her waking hours were painful and frightening.

Sending you so much love and strength, it sounds like you are doing your absolute best for him, and that's what matters. He will know.

It sounds like you have shared a beautiful love together. Hold on to that. I truly believe that love is a bond that can never be broken. It is eternal.
My heart felt empathy. Bless you both.

This must be such a hard time for you. There is nothing anyone can say to make it better, but please remember that many of us are thinking about you and wishing you the strength to get through it.