'No time wasters please'

[headintheproverbial]

Why do people put this on ads? If you are an actual time waster it's unlikely to put you off, surely??

What other nonsensical yet commonplace expressions do people use?

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I never understand the concept of timewasters in the first place. Why would you waste your own precious time in order to waste that of a complete stranger who has no relevance or importance in your life?

I wonder if they're the same people as the kind of MNer who sees a thread that doesn't interest them in the slightest, nevertheless still clicks on it and then spends even more time to add their comment "couldn't care less" or similar!

It's entirely understandable. Time wasters in a dating concept aren't wasting their own time.

They just want a jolly or a shag or a penpal. That's what they want so they're not wasting their time.

They don't necessarily make that clear to others as many would just tell them where to for. so they are getting what they want, at the expense of wasting other people's time.

They're not wasting their own time if they're getting what they want which is casual fun; by not.making that clear they waste other peoples time hence time waster.

@LawnFever

‘Needs gone’

Definitely this! I see it all the time and it really bugs me, so much so that I wouldn't buy the item even if I wanted it.

“Collection only from XXX”
…
“Can you deliver?”
“Whereabouts are you?”
“Can you post it?”

Facebook selling pages really are another world

Perfect condition except for [crack/chip/wheel missing etc]
Well, it's not perfect condition then is it?

'Looking for their forever home'...... from the current owners looking to offload an animal they can't be bothered with anymore.

@LawnFever

‘Needs gone’

Aaaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!

I HATE THAT

It's entirely understandable. Time wasters in a dating concept aren't wasting their own time.

They just want a jolly or a shag or a penpal. That's what they want so they're not wasting their time.

Ah, OK, fair enough, then. I was married in the last millennium, so I've had no experience of OLD. I just assumed it was to do with people in general who arrange a date and then randomly just never turn up - I suppose the same in principle whether it's for a romantic date or an agreed time to collect something they were apparently interested in buying or even something you're giving away on FreeCycle!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll gosh you are lucky to have missed the shit show that can be dating in this millennium.

Sadly time waster is someone who leads another on. They know they don't want a relationship or marriage but don't tell you that.

Being stood up I could cope with just shrug and move on, nothing lost.

I know this probably isn't the kind of thing you mean but I see this all the time on a free giveaway page on Facebook: "if no interest by tomorrow morning it will be binned" this could be anything from a moses basket to a pile of books to a coat that was bought and was too small so never worn. There was a kids dollhouse on there once with dolls/furniture in great condition.

Really winds me up. At least see if a charity shop or somewhere will take it.

“Cash waiting”

“Selling sue to change in colour scheme” - this one really bugs me especially if it’s a sofa that’s only 6 months old. No one keeps things any more work with what you’ve got!

Sadly time waster is someone who leads another on. They know they don't want a relationship or marriage but don't tell you that.

Being stood up I could cope with just shrug and move on, nothing lost.

That sounds truly nasty. Why would they not just use a specialist hook-up site or something, where everybody knows where they stand?

When they say “message for price”! Just put the bloody price on. Or “sensible offers only” again just put the price you want!!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Sadly time waster is someone who leads another on. They know they don't want a relationship or marriage but don't tell you that.

Being stood up I could cope with just shrug and move on, nothing lost.

That sounds truly nasty. Why would they not just use a specialist hook-up site or something, where everybody knows where they stand?

Exactly why not indeed !

"if no interest by tomorrow morning it will be binned"

I saw something like this on our local FreeCycle board. It was a single divan base and it said "must be able to collect it from outside". That puzzled me at first, as of course you'd need to take it outside from the giver's house to get it to your vehicle - but then I realised they didn't mean that they'd kindly have it waiting for you against their porch a few minutes before your ETA, but that it had probably been there 'au naturel' for goodness knows how long!!

I think it was the "Must be gone by Thursday else I'm burning it" that sealed the deal on this rare, precious find

Doesnt list a price..

Send me your offers...

£50?, £100? I dont know. Then gets annoyed when you send a 'silly offer'. just list the price. You clearly have an idea on how much want for it.

@SnarkyBag

Not for an ad particularly but someone looking for a tradesman/service and stating as looking someone “reasonably priced” or “doesn’t charge the earth”

If I were a trade or service I’d just read that as “I want it done on the cheap and have no realistic idea of what this type of service is worth” and I’d avoid like the plague.

Might as well just put looking for a cheap cowboy likely to fuck up the job because I don’t want to pay the going rate

In my local page its usually "doesnt cost a lot" but also asks for someone who does "really great work" Well, really great work WONT be cheap.

"First to see will buy"

Here's one to add to the "needs gone" pile - I got a rabbit from Gumtree a few years ago that was advertised as "needs gone to make room for kid's new Christmas presents. Must go by 18 December or else." . It has a happy ending though, we got him and he's still here, a much loved member of our wee gang.

@Mankyfruitbowl

"Stunning". Why waste a word in your ebay listing title with a meaningless adjective that no one is going to search for?

It's used indiscriminately for any old bobbled secondhand garment, "stunning brown Primark cardi" etc

YES. I'm so rarely stunned by anything but I'm also certain it won't be something on bloody FB Marketplace that tips me over the edge.

Vintage. One of the most overused words to describe 20 year old crappy furniture

First to see will surely buy.

How? How do you know this?

@BroccoliRob

Not a specific quote as such, but we have a local selling page for our village - let's say it's Trumpton Village Facebay. Obviously you don't need to be resident in Trumpton to buy but you get the idea. The amount of people who send a DM asking for your address and then say "sorry it's too far" WHERE WERE YOU EXPECTING TO TRAVEL TO?

Came on to say this, it really cracks me up on our local selling pages. I listed something a few months ago on a named village group and got asked if I would deliver to somewhere 20 miles away because I was too far away.

@happinessischocolate

"Needs a clean"

So bloody clean it then

This I get - we have an old pushchair that might go for £10 if I get around to listing it on Facebook. It's not worth my while to spend time scrubbing it on the offchance that it will sell. If no-one wants it it will go to the tip. However, I would be honest in the ad so as not to waste anyone's time.

*"if no interest by tomorrow morning it will be binned"

I saw something like this on our local FreeCycle board. It was a single divan base and it said "must be able to collect it from outside". That puzzled me at first, as of course you'd need to take it outside from the giver's house to get it to your vehicle - but then I realised they didn't mean that they'd kindly have it waiting for you against their porch a few minutes before your ETA, but that it had probably been there 'au naturel' for goodness knows how long!!

I think it was the "Must be gone by Thursday else I'm burning it" that sealed the deal on this rare, precious find*

Just pluck it off my front lawn.. watch out for the spiders and cat piss

'Perfect for upcycling'

Only a lunatic would want it in its present form.

'Only for sale as it doesn't fit our space'

What? What do I have to do with the dimensions of your hallway/boot room and how does it advertise the item?