Do I have to say about my secret savings?

[Pissoff2020]

Five years ago I was in a really bad relationship and I ended up in an awful situation once it was over. I was struggling financially and had nothing to fall back on. Since then I have maintained a separate savings account for myself for an emergency, a relative passed away four years ago and I inherited some money which also went into this account.

I’ve been with new DP for almost three years and he’s lovely, we are hoping to buy somewhere next year. However, I haven’t told him about the additional account, I don’t know why, I should tell him but I also like knowing that I could survive if the worst happened and we split up.

We have a joint account but it’s only for bills, we keep our income separate and each pay into a savings account for a house deposit.

If we apply for a mortgage, will I need to declare the additional savings account? The deposit will not be from this account.

I would keep it secret. It's your money and you had it before this relationship began.
The only time it would be an issue is if you were claiming benefits.

I don't know about the legalities of declaring all your assets when applying for a mortgage, but I do believe that keeping your emergency fund nest egg quiet is a wise thing for anyone to do.

As said previously unless you plan on claiming benefits it should be no problem keeping it separate.

Thanks for the replies, I’m not claiming any benefits, I just wondered whether a mortgage advisor would mention this separate account and I would then need to explain it to DP.
If he is going to find out when we apply for a mortgage then I’d rather tell him first if I have to.

Nah keep secret

Mortgage advisor will only mention it if you tell him/her!

Why would you need to 'declare' a savings account as part of a mortgage application? There is literally no reason why they would need to know about it.

They want to know income, deposit, incomings and outgoings for affordability. They are not interested in any money you do have that's not being put towards the mortgage.

If you keep your money separate from your DP and just share joint expenses, there is no reason for him to know about your savings either. As long as you are both fairly contributing to your joint property and neither of you are short of money due to unfair sharing of expenses, then that's fine.

I would keep it quiet. I think it would be unfair if together you went through really tough financial times and you didn't mention it, but otherwise I'd say I was keeping it for retirement (if it was discovered.)

You're putting the same amount in for the deposit and bills, and keep everything else to yourselves, so you've no reason to tell him.

Nah keep it a secret. You are single by law so what's yours is yours.

I would keep schtum personally

I actually would tell him and why. Do you plan a long term future - marriage, children etc. Will you tell him then? How would you feel if the situation was reversed? I'd be hurt if I found out later. Plus I'd be totally up front about the fact you're not afraid to walk away from being treated badly.

The mortgage advisor will only know about the account if you tell them.
It won't be flagged on an application as it's not a debt.

Since you maintain separate finances and you are putting your fair share into a joint account and savings, what you do with the rest is your business.
For all you know, he might also have a wodge of cash set aside. 🤷‍♀️

Say nothing.

It would only be unfair if he was paying more towards the deposit. As you're putting equal amounts in, it's only sensible to have a bit for yourself set aside. You never know when it might be useful for family needs in the future if all goes well.

The only time it would come up is if there are regular payments to this savings account on your bank statement, they will question who the money is going too and this may be asked during a call or email with your DP on it. Otherwise no need to declare it really. I only know as this happened to my partner but I knew of his savings, similar happened to my sister

When DP and I applied for a mortgage I don't remember having to 'declare' it. We opened a joint account when we had been together about a year so we could put money in to pay the bills as we were renting at that point and I had an emergency fund back then also which he wasn't aware of until the women at the bank turned the screen (i can't remeber the reason, possibly to check something) for him to see which i was annoyed about. We now mainly save together for home improvements/holidays when possible but I still have a few thousand of my own and still save seperately where we can. It's a wise idea.

As long as you don't mind getting the edited highlights from him too.

I understand why some have said keep quiet but personally I couldn't.

I couldn't enter a commitment without being totally open and transparent; I would expect the same from him and if I found out at a later date he hadn't been I'd be questioning the whole relationship.

I personally think if you're making a comitment to a mortgage with someone then your relationship should be buillt on trust honesty and openness in all aspects of your life

If you keep secrets then I think you are storing up trouble down the line

That’s my main concern, if I don’t say and then it comes up for some reason when we are speaking to a mortgage advisor. I’d rather tell him about it before if it’s going to come out anyway.
I just worry he will think I don’t trust him or that we could’ve used the money towards a deposit already, instead of saving more. But I also like knowing I have a safety net.

I don't think you would need to 'declare' it for any reason when getting a mortgage. The only things they look at are your income and spending - and the deposit of course.

I think it's fine to keep it quiet as long as your DP isn't putting in more deposit than you/paying more towards the property due to thinking you can't afford it.

I think everyone, male and female, should have a backstop personal fund whether secret or not.

You only need to tell them about debts so I would keep quiet. It’s totally understandable to have a secret stash after what you’ve been through. Good luck with your house buying!