I think I have the oddest injury ever, do I win a prize?

[CormoranStrike]

I was filing my long nails down at the weekend as I read that the virus can linger under nails despite a good 20 second wash.

And I filed so vigorously that I dislocated my own finger!

That is seriously the stupidest injury ever, right?

Unless you can entertain me with tales of equal daft ness.

@QuestionableMouse Been there done that too!! Isn't working with/keeping/riding horses fun!! 🤣

I tore the ligaments in my ankle tripping over my own foot

Just remembered a proper one. I put my full palm down on the hob to check if it was hot. It was. Blaming pregnancy hormones.

I've ripped my arm open on a barbed wire fence after ddog went after a muntjac and got his lead stuck on the fence.
I've sliced my second toe along open on the telescopic handle of a suitcase. Tripped over it and wondered a few minutes later why my foot felt sticky and looked and saw a lot of blood.
I've cut my thumb on a apple peeler and segmenter that I had forgotten was in the washing up bowl full of soapy water.
I've also squeezed a hot water in the crook of my arm to get the air out and burnedy arm on scalding water that escaped.
My best friend 500 yards down the road is a trained first aider and has dealt with all the above!! 🤣 🤣 🤣
Ds2 was home for the fence and opened the door on my return dripping blood up the path... He has autism and one of his autism foibles is a fear of blood. He saw the blood and announced loudly "I DONT DO BLOOD MUMMA!!" And shut the door.
With the suitcase handle my mum arrived at the front door. He opened it and announced "Mumma not here Graggy, Mumma at C's House.. Der was lotta blood!!!" Cue my mum doing a passable Ussain Bolt impression down to C's house!!

peeler corer!

Fucked injured my achilles running to catch a train because I insisted on getting a take away coffee on the way to the station. Two years and lots of physio later it is much less painful but very 'knobbly'.

Put my back out drying myself after a shower.

Oh far too many. Fell off a small cliff whilst trying to turn a tap on, and snapped the ligaments in my knee.

Broke my wrist with a handbag.

Dislocated a finger on a tennis ball.

Sliced my cornea with a tube of toothpaste.

It was pretty horrific. I remember very little of it because I was in shock. When the paramedics came they wrapped it in something and then at the hospital they took it all off, took photos and then strapped it all back up until they could figure out what to do. I do remember the doctor and nurses doing it saying they weren’t sure how to stitch it so that it stayed together when my arm was bent and straight which wasn’t very reassuring!

Because I was going back to uni a week after I did it, they sent me off with a copy of my notes from the accident along with the photos. They were A4 colour print outs and a massive shock to me as I hadn’t looked at it properly and I was so out of it. The photos were horrific - you could see my elbow joint in one of them but the other didn’t even look like an arm.

I took copies and they were a source of fascination to my friends throughout uni but I lost them when I moved home. Probably for the best!

Broken porcelain is one of the sharpest things there is, so although it did a very good job of trying to kill me, it was at least a very clean cut so they could repair it without too much difficulty.

About a year later I had my eyelid cut open with a fencing sword - only needed a few stitches but that was way more painful, I guess because I didn’t have the benefit of shock and so much blood loss!

I used to be so accident prone but since those incidents I haven’t been so bad - I think I got them all out of the way at once 😂

I thought I had sheared my nipple off with the flap off a cardboard box a few months ago. The pain was searing.

The astrophysicist and the magnets made me & DH laugh as it is something that our autistic DS would more than likely do. Especially as he wants to be an astrophysicist too.

Ended up with my arm in a sling for a week after breaking my finger nail!

Broke my foot doing the Timewarp.

"It's just a jump to the left..."

I jumped right and everyone else landed on me. Bloody sore!

The Lego accident was someone I know.

She stepped on a piece of Lego, and it damaged the blood supply to her big toe. Got misdiagnosed as 'just' bruising until gangrene set in and she had to have it amputated.

I cut a ligament in my left index finger. My DD was about 5 months old and not sleeping and constantly hungry, so we decided to wean her on HV advice.

Of course I'd been to the weaning class and bought the Annabel Karmel book (the one that has a recipe for 'sleeping people' cannelloni, complete with eyes made from intricately carved bits of olive ). So I attempted to make some pureed carrot. Long story short, it was a woody, fibrous carrot that despite about 20 mins cooking still had hairy bits tangling round the blade shaft in the blender. Like a fool I put my finger in to try to clear the blades, and my other hand was covering the on button and it was still live...
Needed an op to reattach the ligament and several months of physio.

I have also cut my hand trying to squeeze a baked bean tin flat. Luckily that one looked far worse than it really was; lots of blood but no structural damage, though there's a slight scar if I know where to look.