I think I have the oddest injury ever, do I win a prize?

[CormoranStrike]

I was filing my long nails down at the weekend as I read that the virus can linger under nails despite a good 20 second wash.

And I filed so vigorously that I dislocated my own finger!

That is seriously the stupidest injury ever, right?

Unless you can entertain me with tales of equal daft ness.

I put my back out by simply raising my hand to chest level to hail a bus. Not in an aggressive way just a gentle lift of the arm!

I broke my toe in the middle of Tesco two days before Christmas when I knocked a box of biscuits from a shelf on my foot corner first.

@BackseatCookers It was not the most fun I’ve ever had

Got a horrible bruise on the ball of my thumb last week just pushing my boob inside my bra. The pain for that split second was agonising and the bruise is taking its own sweet time to go away. Also managed to break a toe whilst on horseback. No idea to this day how it happened and how I managed to break that particular part of my big toe without breaking the toe next to it.

I knocked myself out chasing my 3 year old round a soft play centre once.

I sprained my pinky wiping my arse a few years back and have also split my head open (and broke my glasses) on one of those little signs that are strapped to lamp posts.

You're not alone in being a clumsy git 🤣

Sprained my ankle in PE- a bean came out of one of the beanbags we were lobbing around and I tripped on it.

My DD gave herself concussion. Bent down to pick up something that had fallen on the floor beneath a wall shelf. Forgot the shelf was there when she stood up again. Ouch.

I’ve done many stupid things which have injured me but the worst is when I fell off my bike while I was stationary. I’m still not sure how I fell to be honest. One minute I was stood, both feet on the floor and I was passing the bike from one hand to the other (sort of rocking it between my legs), next I was on the floor with the bike on top of my arm. I broke both bones and my arm was severely deformed (even I, a child at the time, could tell my arm was broken without an x-ray) and needed plating.

I sneezed while opening the curtains and put my back out. I couldn’t move for about 2 days.

I broke 3 toes with a poster

I bought DD a poster for her room and it was folded on the stairs where I had a little pile of stuff to carry up. Except I didn't - I left it there. When I was walking back downstairs I somehow managed to stand on the poster and kind of surf down the stairs, breaking my toes at the bottom Ouch!

@grandmasterstitch - Don't feel too bad about the magnets; you're in esteemed company:

www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/mar/30/astrophysicist-gets-magnets-stuck-up-nose-while-inventing-coronavirus-device

@Ratonastick

I sneezed while opening the curtains and put my back out. I couldn’t move for about 2 days

You are in good company. About 20 years ago, the mountaineer Alan Hinks has to abandon an expedition to climb all 14 x 8000m peaks in the world after about 3, when he sneezed on the loose flour on a chapati.

I was using my straighteners to curl DD’s hair for her prom. She was kneeling in front of the mirror and I managed to drop the straighteners directly over her ankle. Horrible burn both sides. That was almost a year ago and she still bears purple scars.

I’ve got a greyhound with a stomach issue that means she can only eat plain rice and chicken. She’s also only got four teeth left (common in ex racers). I’ve now got RSI in my hand from constantly cutting up the chicken in to tiny bits for her. DD has to do it now.

I broke a toe while carrying one ds as another ds suddenly stopped dead in front of me.
We were on day 2 of a 10 day holiday.
We arrived home and my toe was mostly fine by then so i was putting stuff away when i opened a kitchen cupboard......
A full bottle of bastard gaviscon fell from the top of the cupboard and smashed right onto my good foot breaking the exact same toe.
Bottles of gaviscon still make me wince :)
I've also fractured my ankle falling/twisting off a 'step' that was literally 2 cms tall!

I do LOADS of stapling at work and one day I dislocated my thumb while stapling.

My friend once knocked herself out when she got a foot caught trying to take her tights off and she fell head first in to the wall. Same friend also had to go to Moorfields when she had bison problems after walking smack into a street sign. 🤷‍♀️

I instantly thought of that news article about the astrophysicist too

I got hit in the leg by a cricket ball in 2008. Bruise is still there

Not bad. But I almost amputated my arm with a bathroom sink, so I think I win 😂

Gave myself a black eye when hanging up my horse's haynet. It was soaked hay and VERY heavy. I was leaning back on the string as I was pulleying it up on the ring, and the string snapped. My hand was in front of my eye. Bloody hurt!!

I put my finger inside an apple pie years and year ago to check if it was hot. Terrible burns on my finger. I know better now.

Loving the image of Bison problems, Judas

DH broke his foot when the buckle of his Birkenstocks randomly got turned over and jabbed into the foot. Ended up in a knee High boot for 6 weeks!