I think I have the oddest injury ever, do I win a prize?

[CormoranStrike]

I was filing my long nails down at the weekend as I read that the virus can linger under nails despite a good 20 second wash.

And I filed so vigorously that I dislocated my own finger!

That is seriously the stupidest injury ever, right?

Unless you can entertain me with tales of equal daft ness.

DD managed to shut the front door on her own foot about half an hour ago

Dislocated my left shoulder a few times changing from 1st to 2nd gear in my car

Bent over and burnt my arse on the tubing of a stand up sun bed

Trapped nipple inside someone's hoist. Was that busy trying not to catch my thumb inside it I didn't realise my right boob was directly on top of it

I also managed to paper cut my eyeball. Was doing filing at work, top of the stack was at eye level, I can't see very well out of one eye and the other eye was distracted trying to find the right file, so as I grabbed the next piece of paper from the stack and pulled it across, I didn't see it coming. Thankfully, no lasting damage! or none that I can see

I also put my back out when I was about 20 by shivering and sneezing at the same time.

@Judashascomeintosomemoney had bison problems after walking smack into a street sign conjured up some images that really cheered me up today, thank you for that!

I sprained my ankle taking off skinny jeans

I managed to burst a vein in my hand turning on a tap

When I was 15 I kept my horse on a small farm. The farmers went a way for the weekend (literally their first ever holiday ever) as me and my mum said we would look after the farm for them. In the barn it was split of half and half with bars for the cows to go in one side. To get them in we just put the feed in the troughs, they'd hear it and come in.

Which they did. At speed. And I was on the wrong side of the bars! 2 broken ribs later...

DH broke his big toe by kicking the wall next to the bed. He was having a dream he was Rodney Marsh (QPR fan).

I got a paper cut on my eyeball.

I also sprained my ankle when I fell out of my front door. I was on the way to have a go at my mum for giving up on our C25K. We both had to stop

I woke up this morning unable to walk. I turned over in the middle of the night and popped something in my knee...hurts like hell and I can’t straighten it out. Don’t know how I did it!

I sliced my finger open with some mozzarella.

Took a bite out of a freshly toasted pita bread and scolded my face with the steam

Has a burn mark on my cheek for a good few months

I once broke my toe by walking barefoot past a bookcase and getting it stuck in the spine of a book.

Walked into a lamppost when younger also a big yellow skip , swallowed a strawberry shaped fridge magnet we got in car to go to hospital and DM trapped my fingers in car door ,cut my hand washing a teapot ,stepped off a kerb and pulled all the muscles in my neck . I'm very clumsy but I take after my dm and my DD takes after us both at one point we seemed to have a permanent parking space at a&e

Jesus @SinkGirl, that looks grim.

@SinkGirl how did it happen?

I once hurt my thumb when I fell out of my car while trying to get into a car park.

I also once bruised my stomach accidentally getting it caught in a garlic crusher while cooking.

I took half my thumbnail off drunk peeling a cucumber

A few weeks ago I gripped my shopping list so tight in Tesco that somehow the circulation cut off and it went white, I couldn't bend it for several hours and genuinely thought it would never return to normal. In the end I had to sit with a hot water bottle on it, flexing it to return the mobility. Weirdest thing I've ever done to myself

Jeez @SinkGirl you win!

Tell us the whole gory story please.

Okay warning, gruesomeness ahead....

I was 18, home from uni for Christmas. Got up in the night to pee, half asleep, either slipped or tripped and started to fall - tried to grab on to the sink. The sink had a tiny hairline crack and the front two thirds just broke off, and my arm slid down the bit that stayed on the wall.

I blacked out and came round in a pool of blood. The only place that hurt was across my abdomen where I slammed into the sink so I figured I’d cut my stomach open. Lifted my arm to check myself out and sprayed blood up the wall.

Called for my mum who walked into what looked like a murder scene, poor woman. Remember her screaming down the phone to 999 while I tried to hold my arm over my head - luckily middle of the night, ambulance was there in minutes.

When I got to the hospital they were talking about amputation, then they said they’d send me for plastic surgery at another hospital. They ended up sewing it all back together in the A&E cubicle (still don’t know why) with nothing but a bit of morphine, local anaesthetic and gas and air. 50+ stitches.

6 months of physio to use my arm again but very luckily I still have the use of my hand - and I didn’t die, also very lucky.

So don’t ever lean on a sink!

wow, @SinkGirl. I shall spread the word of the dangers of cracked sinks with evangelical zeal.

That's horrific.

Oh man @SinkGirl that is nauseating

@sanityisamyth

Been there, done that.

Also punched myself in the face trying to do a stiff girth up on a fat cob. Middle of winter, freezing cold and my hand slipped.

I've punched myself getting dressed. Cut myself slicing bread and carrots but that is normal.