Golden toilet stolen - police have nothing to go on

[LaMarschallin]

Okay, the old ones aren't always the best.

Just saw this: www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-oxfordshire-49700620

Love the fact it was offered to Trump.
Also devastated I may never get my three-minute go on it

Hope they just don't dump it and leave someone else to carry the can.

Local woman Mrs P. Receptacle, 76, commented: 'There's been a spate of bathroom fittings thefts recently. I think it's down to the local sink estate.'

Staff at Blenheim Palace are distraught at the loss of such a valuable item. One employee commented, “We are open, but to be honest, our hearts are not in it, we are just going through the motions today”.

As the search for the missing toilet entered its second day, police spokesperson Ms Senna Kotmax admitted there had been no movement overnight, and there are fears the investigation has become bogged down.

The theft of the toilet has left an exposed sewer pipe. Police are looking into it.

After reports that some recently discovered pubic hairs may yield valuable DNA evidence, police are combing the area.

Trying to log all the calls relating to the theft is leaving officers feeling drained.
"When we catch them, we'll wipe the smile of the faeces," an officer strained.

"Their faeces." He rectumfied.

Although the theft was originally believed to have two perpetrators, police now believe a turd man may be involved.

There was a security camera, but it looks as though it's been wiped.

PC Plop confirmed this morning that police now were working twice as hard to find the culprit. He said: 'The effort we're putting in is double, you see.'

Police have logged it.

double, you see

Subtle

The artist himself is prostate with grief.
He'd planned a live stream of the
exhibition.

The distraught artist has received a shower of condolences from the public.

I know this is a ridiculously old thread but the alleged thieves are on trial now and I was reminded of how funny the thread was! I can't believe how long this has taken to come to trial.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn04xkx43pjo

So it turned into a shitshow for them in the end

Piss-poor, I'd agree!