Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Golden toilet stolen - police have nothing to go on

92 replies

LaMarschallin · 14/09/2019 15:10

Okay, the old ones aren't always the best.

Just saw this: www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-oxfordshire-49700620

Love the fact it was offered to Trump.
Also devastated I may never get my three-minute go on it

Hope they just don't dump it and leave someone else to carry the can.

OP posts:
Pinkarsedfly · 14/09/2019 22:28

The ladies or gents who did this clearly didn’t have a pot to piss in.

Pinkarsedfly · 14/09/2019 22:29

I don’t know how they’ll dare show their faeces in court.

Pinkarsedfly · 14/09/2019 22:30

On apprehending the suspect, PC Plop was heard to say, ‘Urine trouble now.’

Sux2buthen · 14/09/2019 22:30

So much crime. It's enough to drive U round the Bend

Pinkarsedfly · 14/09/2019 22:32

The criminals to date remain on the runs.

ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 22:35

Asked whether she was hopefully of an early arrest, the Chief Investigating Officer said, 'We'll just have to see how things pan out.'

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 14/09/2019 22:51

It's probably hidden at the end of the rainbow; that's where you find a pot of gold.

The thieves will have piles of trouble when they're caught. I hope it can all be rectified or they're in for an anus horribilis.

OP posts:
Rainbowknickers · 14/09/2019 22:51

The police have named Winnie the Pooh as a suspect

ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 22:51

A source said, 'The police have got a promising lead and are hoping they can follow through with an arrest.'

Topseyt · 14/09/2019 22:57

The Disappearance of the Golden Crapper!!

Police say that this is not a bog standard case of burglary.

ColumboOnTheCase · 14/09/2019 23:04

I’ll bet my bottom dollar those thieves are now shit scared!

ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 23:05

Local resident Percy Porcelain, 62, said: 'It's disappointing when police have been trying so hard recently to slash crime rates.'

GameofPhones · 14/09/2019 23:14

PC Plop is still straining after clues.

ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 23:24

Detective Sergeant Timothy Widdle commented: 'We're determined to solve this one. We're currently plumbing the full depth of our resources.'

midsummabreak · 14/09/2019 23:34

If caught thieves will be in diarrhea straits

midsummabreak · 14/09/2019 23:38

Senior detective Con Stipated is cracking up with nothing to go on

He said "this hole business stinks".

ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 23:41

Breaking news is that the case has been passed to Scotland Yard - the local force have now relieved themselves of responsibility.

Northernlurker · 14/09/2019 23:42

I'm drained by this thread

GameofPhones · 14/09/2019 23:47

Trumps the Hatton Garden heist for sheer cheek. Local residents can barely contain themselves.

ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 23:48

DCI James 'Jimmy' Riddle has called on his officers to put all the extra man-hours needed to solve this case. Unfortunately, he can't pay them overtime, but he is offering time off in loo.

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 14/09/2019 23:50

Breaking news is that the case has been passed to Scotland Yard

They probably needed more commodeous premises where they could put their heads together.

That Jimmy Riddle looks baffled, dunny?

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 23:53

That Jimmy Riddle looks baffled, dunny?

He's been seriously incommoded by all this!

GameofPhones · 14/09/2019 23:56

Police are pooh-poohing the theory that the business was done for Trump. Other leads are being put in motion.

ScreamingValenta · 14/09/2019 23:59

Anyone who may have witnessed the crime has been asked to provide a statement at the nearest police station - it's not urgent, they can go at their convenience.

GameofPhones · 15/09/2019 00:04

Midas touch bites wealthy owner on the bum. "My mistake was putting riches on a pedestal".