I'm going to run for Conservative leader

[StealthPolarBear]

Why not, everyone else is?
Who'll back me?

What's your strategy with Brexit?

Oh shit I knew there was something I needed to think about before I ran.
Erm Brexit is a bad/good/mediocre idea and I definitely will/not back it

Stealth

Love you to bits, my dear but could never vote conservative.
Good luck to you though.
Will you be including your Manifesto on this thread, or do you intend to keep us in suspense.

I'll back you stealth
You're as good an option as any.

My what?

Oh I'm definitely the best those other smell. Smelly smelly we call them

No one mentioned a manifesto
Can I have a womanifesto?

Womanifesto sounds much better.

Are you happy with children being hungry? If so give yourself one point. Are you happy with terminally ill people being found for for work? Are you happy with the N H S being sold off to American corporations? Are you happy that loads of ex service personnel are homeless? Four ticks and you are assured that thousands of people who are seemingly decent human beings will vote for you.Evil bastards all.

You've got my vote 👍

Could you be a plant.?Pretend to be a conservative but vow to mend rather than break the country?

I'd like some education funding in my county btw.

Can you dance?

Surely being able to dance would exclude you?

I'm a dreadful dancer. Sort of an embarrassing shuffle

Do you

Dance like May
Speak like McVey
Scowl like Leadsom
Lie like Johnson
Blunder like Raab
Bumble like Javid
Slurp like Gove
Stride like Stewart
Rant like Cleverly
Moan like Malthouse
Gurn like Hunt
Giggle like Hancock

Because that's the bar they've set

Can you negotiate good deals?

I sent a pizza back at pizza express once as it had a burnt crust. They replaced it free of charge.

Well you are definitely the best person to handle brexit!

I'm not.

Though this leadership contest has created a first. I have agreed with IDS about something. He suggests that a candidate should have 10 or 15 MPs support to be nominated.

Could you be a plant.?
Certainly you'd have more brain than several candidates if so. Maybe a Venus fly trap.

I'll vote for you Stealth. You're not Esther McVey are you? If so I am afraid my vote is rescinded

You'll have to come out from under cover, though, Stealth or else who will know that you're running?

I’ll back you Stealth. Although not a lot of good it will do you from over here in the colonies.

I'm definitely not Esther mcvey :)
Right, where do I register and when do I start? Do I need a dbs check? Hair cut probably.

Meh, don't worry about a dbs check.