I'm going to run for Conservative leader

[StealthPolarBear]

Why not, everyone else is?
Who'll back me?

Phew
Right I feel a shopping trip coming on. Thanks everyone, get those Stealth banners made (nice comments only please)

You've got a womanifesto.
You're not Esther McVey.
Get yer coat you've pulled!

You need a power suit too.

Lol you're easily pleased.
Even Boris isn't Esther mcvey

Are you more fanciable than Rod Rory Stewart?

I've just googled him does he actually have TOFF tattooed on his forehead or did my brain add that

True, but Boris wouldn't know a womanifesto if one hit him in the ghoolies (let's hope that happens, eh?)
Anyone know how to spell ghoolies? Don't look right.

Great idea! Start by getting fit. I’ve heard that running through fields of wheat works wonders.

:) was that Cameron again?! I remember the comment but can't remember who.. Do I have to have intimate relations with a pig?

Tsk, tsk.

Intimacy with a pig - YES

Dress sense - NO

Eyes pointing in slightly different directions - YES

Getting fit - have you seen Ken Clarke?

With your position on Brexit, you could certainly be leader of the Labour party.

Crucially though, what's your position on pineapple on pizza?

Foreign policy?
Two weeks in Orlando or two weeks in the Maldives?

Are you espoused to someone whose country if origin you can name under pressure?
Do you own a photogenic oven?
Will you pledge to split the Conservative Party and stop this ridiculous pretence that it's a unified organisation?

You have my X if so.

Goolies for the body part and ghoulies go with ghosties and long legged beasties.

No idea what any of you are on about..

All sounds very alien to me.. so yes, you got my vote...

Thanks drspouse good bit of spelling clarification there.

I live to serve.
(Good reason why I shouldn't run for Tory leader).

Have you got a big red bus?

Not red. She needs this one
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Volvo-Double-Decker-Promotional-Bus-with-electric-lift-up-roof/173822537229?hash=item2878a16e0d:g:DGcAAOSwqeRcfif9

Can you organise a piss up in a brewery?

If so, I feel you may be vastly overqualified...

Do you assert that you are not a racist because you hate all non-Brits, even the white ones?

Oh oh - here's a bus! www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Alexander-Dennis-Double-Decker-promotional-bus/173771016989?_trkparms=aid%3D888008%26algo%3DDISC.CARDS%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20131227121020%26meid%3D9081f99f476149198369e0894bfb4000%26pid%3D100009%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D2%26mehot%3Dpp%26sd%3D173822537229%26itm%3D173771016989&_trksid=p2047675.c100009.m1982

If you can define woman in a way that protects women’s sex based rights, and you don’t hire as your campaign manager a man awaiting trial for kidnap rape and torture or a child, or have the person who directly hired him as an MP for your party, you have my vote. Cannot believe my standards are so fucking low these days and im still politically homeless.

Could you be a plant
Made me think of Alan B'stard:
'If your IQ was any lower, you'd need watering'

Do you know how much a litre of milk costs ? A loaf of bread ? A terms fees at Eton ? No, no and yes? Splendid, you're in.

Also you're going to need a picturesque local church for you and Mr Bear to be seen attending at least once a month.