It's lovely that you all say such nice things. As is the way of all things building related, it's costing more than anticipated, and while I'm watching my savings disappear fast, I can at least now indulge in book writing fantasies.
Saucy cb is crushy builder, cg is chatty gaffer. You've missed tp (tiny plasterer) who has been and gone, taking his plasterers stilts with him. And csb (considerate shitting brickie) who I am remembering fondly.
Cb told me this morning that cg put his leg through the floor yesterday and had to go for a sit down. I expressed the requisite sympathy and cg said "oh it's fine, was only half a leg, no proper damage - if you know what I mean".
Me: That's lucky, you don't need to be repairing any floorboards"
Cg: I didn't mean that sort of damage"
Me: What sort of damage did you mean then?
Cb proceeds to reassure me that all his necessary equipment is in full working order. I'm on the verge of asking what he was holding when he fell into the hole and of saying how glad I am that none of his tools were damaged.
Giggling ensues from both. I finally realise to what he is alluding 
. I make my excuses and leave.