I live in Bangkok AMA

[Eledamorena]

Just that. I've lived here nearly 4 years and have 3 children. Ask away, if you're interested!

What is the weather like? I imagine it to be hot and humid which is my worst nightmare!

What made you move there?

What is your house like?

And what can you see when you look out of your living room window?

What do you and your partner do for jobs? Is it paid well?

The weather is hot all year round and very humid at this time of year. I've rarely seen the temp dip below 30 degrees, even at night. And at this time of year there is no such thing as a refreshing dip in the pool because it's like getting into a giant bath!!

We've lived abroad before and I was fed up with life at home so just applied for jobs in various places. We're teachers so there are jobs everywhere. We just happened to end up here really, we were quite open-minded about location. Turns out we love it, so what we planned to be a little adventure will probably become many years!

My house is a nice townhouse in a compound with shared pool and playground. Lovely neighbours, mix of Thai and foreign. Most people live in apartments, though. We are considered very suburban here even though we are right by the skytrain system! We are so lucky to have been here through lockdown because our pool stayed open whereas all the condo pools closed. So at least the children weren't shut inside.

From my windows I can just see green treetops and then some tall apartment blocks on one side, and less nice-looking apartment blocks on the other!!

Re jobs - teaching pays reasonably well, it varies a lot from school to school but the top schools have great packages. The lowest level schools pay crap! Most are in between. It's not as cheap to live here as it used to be but you can still live well in terms of food and travel for very little. Rent is more than people expect for somewhere nice.

I absolutely love Bangkok and Thailand in general - beautiful country and people. Glad it sounds just as lovely to live there as it does when visiting.

Can you speak Thai? Can your DCs speak Thai?

I love it too! I'd never been before we moved here. In fact I'd never been to Asia before, despite having travelled pretty extensively elsewhere. So it was a gamble but it paid off!

My Thai is terrible. Before we came I planned to learn and I have always done so living in other countries, but my word Thai is HARD! I can barely count and greet people and explain where I live to taxi drivers. It's embarrassing.

My children will be better than me as they grow up, as they learn at school, but they won't ever be fluent. They speak English all day at school and at home. My nanny is Burmese (as many helpers are here) and her English has overtaken her Thai since living with us, so they don't pick any up from her really, although she does practise the basics with them a bit. Thai friends at school and in the neighbourhood all speak at least some English. It's a shame as I would love them to learn more, but I'm not in a position to help them at all. And to be honest I wish we lived somewhere with a more 'useful' language for their future, in which case I think I would prioritise it more. But I do judge myself harshly for not being better myself!

Do you have many friends there? Is it easy to meet people to socialise with? I was an expat once and it was very easy to find groups / activities to meet people from all over the place, but people often moved on fairly quickly.

It sounds lovely btw 🥰

I lived in Bangkok in the early 90s. First experience overseas. We had a ball. Loved it.

Spent lots of time at the British Club - DH was treasurer and I edited the monthly magazine.

We made some great friends. Fabulous social life.

I suspect it’s very different now!

Oh and my DS was created in a Petri dish in a lab near Lumpini Park! We weren’t actually living in Bangkok then but traveled from Vietnam for IVF treatment.

Most of my friends are through work and my neighbours, but there are loads of groups to help you meet people. I think any city with a big expat population is good for this. People do move on, of course, but actually a lot of people stay longer than they intend. I know loads of people who came for a two year posting and are still here decades later!

@Peridot1 I've been to the British Club, it's lovely! We're not members as we live too far away but it's definitely still a popular place. And I know several people who've had IVF here!!

What's your typical breakfast, lunch, dinner? I'm just a curious foodie - would love to know.. :-) I imagine it's easy to eat healthily, am I correct?

Your set-up does sound lovely xx

Do you have a spirit house?

We eat a mix of western and local food. So my kids have porridge (oats) for breakfast at home but on holiday we have had Thai porridge for breakfast, which is made from rice in a sort of clear soup with veg and prawns or chicken. Not quite the porridge we were expecting!!

At my school the lunches are things like chicken and rice, curries, pork, eggs prepared a thousand different ways (including some sort of pudding thing that looks rank!), noodle soup etc. They do lasagne, past a, or sandwiches to cater to those who don't eat Thai food. It's always exciting if they serve potatoes haha!!

In the evenings we rarely cook. It's so cheap to buy street food so we eat a lot of that. Rice or noodle based dishes, mostly.

My absolute favourites if you want to look them up or attempt to cook them are laab moo (spicy minced pork, that they translate as a 'spicy meat salad'), som tam (unripe papaya salad, also spicy!), yellow curry, Penang curry, massaman curry... I like the curries!!

Bangkok is an amazing city for food though, as you can also get all manner of non-Thai food. Sushi and Korean BBQ are really popular with the Thais. You can get fish and chips or a roast dinner if you are so inclined. My children don't recognise food like that though, and they don't know how to use a knife and fork!

No, we don't have a spirit house and actually you question has just made me realise there isn't a shared one in my compound, either. That's surprising. I'm sure most of my Thai neighbours must have one in their houses, but the only Thai neighbour I spend a lot of time with is Christian so obviously she doesn't have one.

We do have one at school and there are several outside the row of shops just outside my compound and in all the malls etc. Basically everywhere!

You say you are a teacher but don't speak the language, so do you teach to just english kids?

In Bangkok I was shocked by all the middle aged / old British men with very young Thai women with them...how do you feel about all the sex tourists such as these there? I found them odious.

I teach at an international school, so the language of the school is English. The students are about 50% local and 50% foreign (various nationalities). English is not the first language of most students.

I should still learn Thai though!

The old men and young Thai women are, unfortunately, totally the norm here. Also old white men with much younger Thai men. It's not just tourists, it's also long term resident foreigners who go with these women.

It's complicated because at one end of the spectrum there are women being exploited. Many of the prostitutes or 'bar girls' are from poor families in the north of Thailand. They tell their parents they work in a factory and they send money home. Many will be trapped by pimps/madams eho they owe money to, so they can only leave if someone (probably a customer) pays them off. Their goal is to get a man to be their boyfriend and give them financial security. Many men 'fall in love' with these women. I doubt many of the women feel the same but I would never blame them for trying to make the best of their situation. Having said that, some are outrageous in terms of approaching men they know are married or have children, but then it is still the man choosing to accept their flirtation...

There are also LOTS of Thai women/foreign man relationships that you wouldn't consider sex tourism at all, but it has a seedy side. The dating scene for non-Thai women here is close to non-existent, because Thai men are less likely to be interested in them and foreign men are often VERY drawn to local women. I have friends who have married nice local women of a similar age, who have a regular job and can speak English, and these relationships seem 'normal' and balanced. But it's a cliche that the woman is often FAR more attractive than the man! And the man is often heavily subsidising not just the girlfriend but also her extended family. This is a generalisation and of course not always the case, but it's really common. Even educated Thai women often want to have a foreign boyfriend or husband.

The worst side of all this that I've seen was in a holiday town just before our first lockdown. I've never been to the sex district in Bangkok so didn't know what to expect. We walked down a street of bars and clubs, empty due to lack of tourists, and there were girls wearing NUMBERS so you could just say which number you wanted. Several times I was approached by men with a menu, and when I looked it wasn't to try and get me into a bar with drinks promotions etc. It was a menu of sex acts to watch.

What's crazy is that Thailand is actually a very conservative society, that just turns a blind eye to this one outrageous (and profitable) industry. The main area in Bangkok for this is located next door to a police station. I'm sure the chief of police there makes more money in bribes than in salary. Prostitution is illegal. Even sex toys are illegal! But the law is a very vague and flexible concept in Thailand...

What do you miss?
How did your children settle in?

How often do you escape the city?

Do you think you'll ever come back to the UK? Or move on somewhere else?

I miss my family and friends. Occasionally I miss the English weather!! I'd kill for a nice breeze or some cool weather sometimes! Sometimes I miss the ease of living in a country where I can speak the language, obviously things can get tricky here and I might need to call a friend to help me with banking or other admin. But that's it, really. I think we are very well-adjusted because I know many of my foreign friends would have a much longer list of things they miss from their home countries!

My children were small when we came here (the youngest was born here) so settling in just wasn't a concern at all. The only downside for them is not having extended family around. Although interestingly they say they want to live in England, even though they can't remember it really. They are convinced it snows at Christmas so they always want to go back for Christmas!

We have a lovely nanny, the children go to a nice school, and we live in a compound where they can play out unsupervised from tiny, so life is good for them!

We don't escape the city as often as we should. Obviously more difficult right now due to covid anyway. But my friends without children are always off somewhere, so it can be done! Bangkok is 2-3 hours drive from beaches, you can get to countryside quicker than that, and a few island are within easy weekend reach. You can also fly to Phuket or Samui for a weekend, or better a long weekend. But that's all easier when you're not towing children with you!

Our compound is very green and there is space for the children to ride their bikes etc. It doesn't really feel like we are in the city until we leave our gates. And actually we rarely go into the city, unless to see friends.

No, I don't think we'll ever move back to the UK. Maybe onto somewhere else, although of course that will get a bit more difficult once the children are in secondary school.

We didn't expect to stay long term but that's the case for lots of foreigners here. Life is easy so it's pretty common for people to stay years longer than they originally planned!

Oh I've thought of something else I miss! Shopping for children's clothes in supermarkets! Children's clothes here are either crap quality or on the pricey side. We have H&M and an Aussie shop called Cotton On which are both great, but way more expensive than Sainsbury's or Tesco. Top of my list when I go home is stocking up on shorts and t-shirts in the next 2 years worth of sizes!