How do sex toys deepen emotional connection?
Introducing sex toys into a relationship can do more than just enhance physical pleasure—it can significantly deepen emotional intimacy between partners. According to Clinical Psychologist Tracy King, “Sex toys can play a transformative role in enhancing intimacy within relationships by fostering communication, introducing novelty, and deepening emotional and physical connections.”
One of the most impactful ways sex toys strengthen relationships is by encouraging open conversations about desires, boundaries, and fantasies. As King explains, “Introducing a toy into the relationship often requires honest conversations about what each partner enjoys, creating a space for vulnerability and trust. This openness can lead to a better understanding of each other’s needs and preferences, strengthening the overall bond.”
This shared experience also brings a sense of teamwork and mutual curiosity, reinforcing the connection between partners. “The novelty of trying something new, such as vibrators, couples’ toys, or remote-controlled devices, can create excitement and bring a sense of playfulness into the bedroom,” King notes.
Sex toys can also bridge gaps caused by mismatched libidos or physical limitations, ensuring both partners feel included and valued. As King highlights, “A partner with a lower libido may feel more involved and connected through the use of toys, while a partner with mobility challenges can participate in intimate moments with less strain.”
Ultimately, when approached with openness and curiosity, sex toys become a powerful tool for cultivating trust, pleasure, and a deeper emotional connection between partners.
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Why should couples use sex toys together?
Using sex toys as a couple can add excitement, adventure, and intimacy to your relationship. By exploring new sensations and fulfilling shared fantasies, partners can break free from routine and bring fresh energy into their sex life.
Sex toys also create opportunities for shared discovery, allowing couples to learn what brings each other pleasure in a non-pressured way. This process naturally leads to deeper communication and mutual understanding, helping to strengthen the bond and keep the spark alive.
How can couples use sex toys together?
When using sex toys with a partner, the first and most important thing you need to establish is consent. Using toys with a partner can open up a wealth of possibilities, especially for things that need another pair of hands. Shopping for a toy with your partner can be an erotic experience in itself, enjoy yourselves - talk about what you like and don’t like. You can use toys during penetration or as part of foreplay.
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What makes a good sex toy for couples?
A good sex toy for couples is one that offers several benefits for both users, including:
Enhanced intimacy, pleasure and communication between partners
Is versatile for various activities and positions
Is easy to use, comfortable, and safe
Is made of high-quality materials, an ergonomic design, and has intuitive controls
Discreet, low noise level for privacy and shared living spaces
Promotes connection, pleasure, and mutual satisfaction
Couples sex toys that didn't make the cut
When it comes to sex toys for couples, there's plenty too choose from - it helps to know what you're both comfortable with and what you'd both like to try before investing. Which is why, with our guide to the 10 best couples sex toys, we've made sure to dig deep and compare what Mumsnet users are saying against online reviews, as well as our own testing at MNHQ.
For sex toys for couples, here are the ones that were recommended but didn't quite make our roundup:
Why you should trust us
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About the experts
Gigi Engle, Sexologist at SexToys.co.uk is a Certified Sex and Relationships Psychotherapist, Sex Educator and Award Winning Author.
Dr. Tracy King is a highly experienced Clinical Psychologist, Expert Witness, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Jungian Life Coach, and Spiritual Emergence Coach®.
About the author
Rebecca Roberts is a writer, editor, and content marketing expert hailing from Leeds. Here at Mumsnet, she commissions, writes, and edits to bring parents content designed to make life easier. After birthing and breastfeeding two babies in two years, Rebecca knows first-hand how hard it can be to reignite intimacy. From condoms, to lubricants, to sex toys - she’s on a quest to find the best ones, with the help of Mumsnet user recommendations.
Beyond her role as an editor here at Mumsnet, Rebecca can be found balancing life as a working mum of two toddlers and when she’s not at her desk, you’ll likely find her at a local playgroup, in a nearby coffee shop, walking the dog, or hiding from her neighbour as she attempts to buy condoms during her weekly “Big Food Shop”.
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