Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Sex toys when married?

25 replies

girlfromyorkshire · 04/08/2022 17:06

I used to enjoy using sex toys a lot when I was younger especially a vibrator and dildo. It's something that my boyfriend (now husband) didn't know about as I got rid of them when we moved in together. I would like to start using them again, mainly because I just enjoy them but also as he works away a few days a week usually. Just wondering how to bring this up and what he will think. What do others think about using sex toys when married?


If you've found this page in your search of the best sex toys that can help you achieve orgasm and have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
skippy67 · 04/08/2022 17:17

I'm married and have a couple of toys. Nothing to do with my husband, and didn't factor him in to my decision to get them. Nice to have a bit of me time I guess.

PinotPony · 04/08/2022 18:14

Curious why you got rid of them when you moved in together. Sex toys are fabulous alone or in company!

I assume that he knows that you masturbate and vice versa... that's perfectly healthy and not anything to be embarrassed about.

If you think he might be insecure about you buying sex toys, you could pitch it that you'd like to try using them together. Then just wait until he goes to work!

cookiecreammmpie · 04/08/2022 18:32

I am married and regularly use my vibrator. Its my special time where I can release my horniness and focus on my fantasies.I see it as something separate from my husband and it doesn't affect our sex life.

Staynow · 04/08/2022 18:37

We have loads, just tell him!

Catullus5 · 04/08/2022 19:21

We use toys on each other all the time. Power tools get the job done!

I introduced DW to them.

Whether she uses them by herself is none of my concern but I wouldn't mind at all if she did.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 04/08/2022 19:48

Power tools get the job done!

whips out a Black & Decker ….

Thisismysexforumname · 04/08/2022 20:23

DW introduced them to me when we first got together, now we have a sizable collection. I occasionally use one or two alone, she very rarely does. We mainly use them together. Maybe send him a couple of links to something you like on lovehoney and see what he says.

NotAnEmmit · 04/08/2022 20:38

We have loads. You can suggest them - he may love the idea.

40somethinginashford · 04/08/2022 22:56

Totally agree with the others. DW has quite a few…all bought by me… we often use them together. Particularly love the glass dildo. Definitely try lovehoney and share some links with him

JulieS1 · 05/08/2022 23:52

The two are different. Sex / making love with partner and personal me time of release. Ive been married for a few years and have a vibrator which we do sometimes use during sex and playing together. Since having kids and impact in time for sex and my labido being high I do use it when he is not about. He stays away with work 1 / 2 nights a week... thats my time! lol

Namechanged1010 · 06/08/2022 05:03

We have been married a fair few years and we introduced them, albeit on the back of some chat when aroused and hubby whispered he would loved to use a vibrator on me...and I responded positively.

A few weeks passed and no mention, and then one night in the middle of foreplay he produced one. Fortunately a good choice (so many different variations) and it is a positive aspect of our sex life. It isn't used every time and sometimes he likes to use it in me, more occasionally I use it for a time and he watches and takes over etc.

He loves it using in me and me sucking him...

lauraUK1000 · 08/08/2022 18:35

I'm a big advocate for sex toys and don't think it should matter if you are married / in a relationship / single if you want to use them and should not be embarrassed about it. I think a lot of (most) women use sex toys now and men are generally excited by them rather than being against them, as attitudes have changed.

I got a vibrator when I was younger and have used one ever since as it gives me amazing orgasms and makes me feel good. My husband asked if I used toys when we first got together and was not surprised that I did, and has no problem with it (it actually turns him on a lot).

EveSmiles · 10/08/2022 14:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

didiimaginethis · 10/08/2022 14:16

Me and my DH love using toys - both as part of sex and I also use them alone. Looking through Love Honey together is a great way to choose some toys

EveSmiles · 10/08/2022 21:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PhryneFisher · 13/08/2022 09:08

We have loads, different ones for different scenarios. Some we use together, some I use on my own, sometimes he uses them on me or vice versa.
He works away a lot and I have been known to receive a text asking me to use something, or I have sent him one asking what he thinks I am doing right now, that sort of thing.
We’ve been together 20 years and they have definitely kept things interesting.

RaginaPhalange · 15/08/2022 14:43

We have a fair amount of sex toys mainly used when together, occasionally used alone.

eve39 · 18/08/2022 13:51

I agree with the others, I think tell him i'm sure he will love the idea and sex toys can be so much fun in a relationship. I recently found this brand called shespot which makes "self-love" pleasure boxes designed for women, and my partner actually bought me one as a gift because whilst it contains a very lovely vibrator and lube it also has some very nice other intimate products for women. So that could be a good way to introduce the idea to your husband - buy yourself a self-love box and explore the products inside it together as a couple (or alone - that's also totally fine in a marriage)!

allan0026 · 08/10/2025 22:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Naanspiration · 09/10/2025 11:35

Men love playing with tools right. Just introduce it and let him use it on you too.

Don't need to mention your solo use, it will be implied already.

Next time he's away, you can say you used it because you were horny and thinking of him 💦

40somethinginashford · 09/10/2025 12:04

I love that this thread has been rediscovered! And I hope the OP managed to bring it up with their partner.

I honestly couldn’t imagine not using toys as part of our mutual and solo fun. They just add to it. There are some toys I/we (tends to be me) have bought that end up either not being used or rarely used and of course we have our favs. But it never not goes down well!

TessSaysYes · 09/10/2025 13:19

Just do it.
Ask him to...ahem...suck your boobs while you re doing it, and he might be quite keen.

YehaaYessir · 13/10/2025 17:34

I wouldn't be without my toys, DH knows and we sometimes use them together during sex. I'm not sure he knows quite how much I use them alone but I guess that's my business lol.
The good thing about toys is the more you use them the better they get, you can experiment and find out how they are best used. I've had some incredible orgasms using mine.

ladymichelleZ · 13/10/2025 19:59

I can't imagine how women with toys, a good vibrator at at very least, manage without them! I got my first vibrator before going to college and started using it frequently and I have been a big fan and user of them ever since.
My husband asked if I masturbated or used a vibrator when we got together so it has never been a secret or an issue.

D1975 · 14/10/2025 19:26

Me and the wife have a toybox.....good variety. She likes to use the wand on herself but if we have a toy night I will use a few different vibrators on her before actuall sex.
He'd probably be willing to help chose some toys once you bring it up and if your confident enough you can do video call whilst using one when hes away.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.