Lactation support conference in Ireland - the quiet part out loud

I think it is important that everyone there emphasises over and over again that the point of breastfeeding a baby is not to provide the parent with validation, fun, sexual kicks gratification, or whatever else; it is to provide the baby with healthy nourishment which (with luck) protects that baby from diseases and prevents allergies from being set up for later life.

Anyone of whatever gender and whichever sex suggests it is being done for the parent's benefit should be stomped on sharpish. And anyone who suggests that fake milk which lacks any of the benefits of breast milk should be what is offered to a baby is both perverted and guilty of child-abuse. Bottle milk is at least designed to provide all the necessary nutrition; I doubt the chest-secretions of a male mammal are.

I'm talking about social attitudes, not WHO recommendations. Realistically, it's unusual for a woman to continue breastfeeding beyond 6 months, and it's very, very unusual to continue breastfeeding once a child starts school.

I know breastfeeding is supposed to be an amazing bonding experience, and for some women it is. However, I think that for most women, at least at the start, it's something you persevere with because you believe it benefits your child.

I assume there must be an instinctive drive to breastfeed otherwise other mammals, lacking more abstract understanding, wouldn't put up with it. However, the fact that so many women don't breastfeed beyond 6 weeks suggests humans don't have whatever enables a mare to feed her foal without the help of a lactation consultant.

It's worth noting that yeraverage mare is not constantly told that it's incredibly difficult to breast-feed and she needs lactation consultants to help her.

so many women don't breastfeed beyond 6 weeks

Unless this is true internationally (pretty sure it isn't), I'm of the strong opinion that the problem is mostly societal not physiological.

Not just that, but breastfeeding supporters with certain organisations are thrown out if they refuse to support men who wish to induce galactorhoea. La Leche League being one of them.

I think the biggest reason that women don't carry on breastfeeding is that an alternative is available and they find it easier.

If women were breastfeeding for their own enjoyment and benefit they would just carry on and they wouldn't bother with formula.

This has been a significant feature of our history, and societal attitudes, here in Ireland and isn't showing signs of changing any time soon. Women and children have long been considered less important.

I'm fairly sure that isn't unique to Ireland!

I do think formula is "easier" for many women (in some cultures including ours), but I think that's because they haven't been taught the techniques that make breastfeeding easy. I think that's because of various reasons: we've lost the peer-support network that cultures who live in extended families naturally have; we have one or two generations who didn't learn the techniques because they were told bottle is best; we have a society that, with a weird combination of prudishness and creepiness, confuses breastfeeding with exhibitionism.

It's not about affordability or breastfeeding requiring more effort, which i think is what you're referring to.

I'm very much as lazy as they come, and I could afford formula. But a combination of lockdown, postpartum injury and acute depression meant I spent hours of every day just holding my dc1 on the sofa, I couldn't be bothered to ever wear a bra, and she was a terrible sleeper so we co slept. By lucky accident, those are exactly how you increase supply. Then when I felt able to socialise again, I didn't have to pack any feeding stuff as I just fed my baby. It very much can be the lazy option if it works out.

But mothers are given bad advice, judged, nagged, worry, and give up. I don't blame them one bit. I do in part blame the so-called lactation consultant industry, who financially depend on women finding it difficult.

Sorry, I'm derailing. I guess I just have such a dim view of the lactation consultant industry that it doesn't surprise me that they let creeps into the fold.

I'd recommend peer support to any mum.

I took a look at the idea of me, boiling water for sterilising, and lack of sleep, and decided that more convenient or not, breast-feeding was SAFER!

And luckily the only person I listened to about how to do it was my mum, who breastfed all of us, and an aunt ditto her six.

Lactation consultants who are male can simply butt out, as far as I am concerned; Double if they are nasty enough to advocate deliberately poisoning infants for the sexual gratification of other men.

In some countries, lack of paid maternity leave is also a significant factor. If you're back in work 6 weeks after birth then a bottle probably is easier.

Yes I agree, in the US particularly i believe. Thankfully not usually an issue in the UK.

However I did go back to work (albeit part time, term time only) at 8mo and 6mo and still breastfed for years. So I think as long as you can be off work for at least 4-6 months, that's generally enough to establish breastfeeding.

I could write an essay on the main causes behind the low rates in the uk but I don't want to derail the thread!

If i was going to be cynical I'd say check who sponsors this conference. Nestle?

That's good, I'm sorry I am probably very biased based on the experiences of some of my friends. No doubt as in any profession there are good people as well as bad.

Here's their statement which makes it all clear - it's hard to find on their website, it's under 'Disclaimer'
Statement of Inclusivity
ALCI is dedicated to the Protection, Promotion, and Support of Breastfeeding for all persons. ALCI is inclusive to all persons and the intention of written material produced by ALCI specifically, such as protocols, statements, and position statements is to remain inclusive to all breastfeeding, chest feeding, and human milk-feeding individuals. For the purpose of such materials and throughout this website the terms Breastfeeding and Mother are chosen without bias or prejudice. ALCI fosters a positive ethos and operates a policy of equal respect, regard, and fair treatment for all visiting this website.
Disclaimer - ALCI

'the terms Breastfeeding and Mother are chosen without bias or prejudice'😡

See these are two very very different, id say almost conflicting, targets. Aiming for "exclusive" is so unattainable that many mothers give up entirely, via a torturous expressing route. Only 48% exclusive under 6mo, but 71% breastfeeding by 12 months? The key conclusion there is that there are many mix-feeders, who are managing to sustain breastfeeding for at least 1 year.

And who are the loudest advocates of "breast good, formula bad"? They aren't helping. ...I promise I'll stop derailing!