To reflect, post Russell Brand etc., on things I put up with from men but now don't know why

I also work in the legal field and law firms were dreadful with predominant male partners. We had a managing partner who seemed to be sleeping his way through all the trainees despite being married

Bleurgh yes I'm also in the law and have seen this at firms where I've worked. One partner had been at it for years and thought he was both hilarious and untouchable. Even more concerningly, his specialism was acting for entities (boarding schools etc) in the defence of historic sexual abuse claims. Many a trainee went to HR and complained and was told to laugh it off and just be careful not to be alone with him. Finally he did it to a trainee who was the daughter of a significant client of the firm and he was given his marching orders. But it made me so angry that it was only when "money talked" that he got his comeuppance after years of appalling behaviour.

God, just remembered that my then boyfriend's sister worked at Harrods in the Christmas hols and when he did his rounds in the morning, more experienced colleagues used to get all the young women to hide in the stock room in case they caught his eye. I remember her talking about this and people reacting like it was a funny story.

There are not very many Italian restaurants in Birmingham (or there weren't in the 90s) and I also worked in one where staff were creeps so I wonder if it was the same one. I quite liked it as we got free pasta.

Urgh! Although JR met his wife when she was 16 and she is at least a decade younger than him.so maybe he could relate !

Men are disgusting and need to be spayed or they need to put bromide in the water to stop them constantly thinking of sex.

Sorry, this should say "when Fayed did his rounds". I've made it sound like my boyfriend!

I honestly can't remember, it was so long ago 😞

I read somewhere (can’t remember where) that all men benefit from misogyny even the very best, lovely, kind, heroic, life-saving men. And even if they don’t realise. They benefit every time a woman doesn’t put herself forward for a promotion or an award, every time a woman takes on more of the burden at home or with elderly parents, every time a product, service or procedure is designed unthinkingly around a default man. Every time a woman shrinks herself it leaves more space for him. Men should be calling this shit out - not enabling it and laughing along. (Looking at you JR 🤢)

Relarively minor, but I often think back to my first tutorial at uni with a particular lecturer - this was late 60s. He was 25-ish, with a mid Atlantic accent, and obviously pretty thrilled with himself.

First thing he said, ‘Your essay was fine - I’ve given you a B. Now, how’s your sex life?’
Different times!!

I just replied, politely enough, but probably on the chilly side, ‘Fine, thank you.’
He didn’t pursue it.

I was dating a manager. They discussed with their mate, another manager, en route somewhere how I was a two finger kitkat, not four. It feels like the 90s were so unliberated but we were sold an idea that it was, with the ladette culture and the men’s magazines etc. as for attempted assaults I can think of several and I bet I’m not alone.

I hear you! had a gross bil who was handsy. Fortunately he died (miserably, YAY). Karma indeed. Hearing the RB and GW stuff today and yesterday makes me wish I had outed him in front of his family. I didn't, but I'd have the courage to do it now after what the female victims in RB case have so bravely revealed.

No it is not changing not at all. My daughters are cat called and worse every single time they go out for a run. One of them is paid below the wages of the men in the team even though they all do the same job and its clear if they speak up, they are out. my girls have to think about an evening out. are they drinking if so how much and how will they get home. which way should they walk, what should they have with them.if you are on a dating app its a couple of messages all light and fluffy and then a dick pic. or an expectation that if they buy you dinner you sleep with them. people need to wise up. things most definately are not changing they are getting worse. young men in their early teens watching porn on their phones believing all girls want anal sex and have to have shaved all hair off of their bodies to be attractive. women filling their lips and their faces with god knows what kind of shit because the trout pout is what men want.

Honestly you need to wake up and see times have not changed its getting worse and worse.

I just had a creepy experience with a guy at the weekend. I've been on 5 dates with him. I think the weekend was 5th or 6th date.

Anyway, I was back & forth in my mind about whether I like him or not. Had a good evening out (I think because of film we went to see which was really funny, not because of his company).

He suggested going back to mine for a bit afterwards. Fine. I said okay. When we got there, I gave him a tour of my house which finished in a bedroom.

I asked him if he wanted a coffee, but he kinda pushed me onto the bed ( I didn't say no). We were kissing. Then he starts trying to put his hands down my trousers, so I told him to "Wait". Repeatedly. He kept trying.

WHY DIDNT I KICK HIM OUT.

Well he's part of the committee on a hobby group I recently started to attend. I want to keep attending. So I was going back & forth in my head about how to handle this. Because I didn't want him in my trousers. But he kept trying and eventually I caved and let his hand in.

Then he started trying to take my trousers off which I refused.

Then he was saying stuff like "I'd understand if you were 16 but you're nearly 40" and "I've got needs" and "I'm just as vulnerable as you are" (I said I felt vulnerable).

Then I started crying, made an excuse about why I didn't want to, and he left.

The next day I text him saying I think I'm not ready for a relationship (again, excusing him, WHY DID I DO THAT) and he had the gall to reply that I was rude for texting him that.

Anyway, on reflection I feel it was coercive sexual behaviour.

I just saw him pop up on LinkedIn and it made me feel sick.

I don't want to not attend the hobby group though. I tried to smooth it over in the message I sent. The next meeting is Thursday.

Just thinking, like. Did I bring that on myself.

I worked in a cafe as a teenager (under 16). The boss’s son worked in the kitchen and he was always making lewd comments to me and the other girls/young women that worked there. The boss and his wife couldn’t give a shit. They owned the flat above the shop and one day the son suggested I go up there for my lunch break so that I didn’t keep getting called on to do jobs while trying to eat my lunch in the cafe. God knows why I went up there. Anyway, when I walked in he was watching porn with the volume up very loud, he turned and looked at me and smiled. I muttered an apology, turned round and walked back down to the cafe. I didn’t tell the boss or his wife, there didn’t seem to be any point.

Another time, not a work situation, I had an older boyfriend- I was 17, he was 20. He was a controlling arsehole. He drove us to one of his friend’s home one evening- I didn’t know why were going there and had no choice in the matter. We went in and there were about 6 or 7 men there in their early twenties, all drinking. After a few minutes, one of them put a porn film on. I was seemingly expected to sit there while they watched. I didn’t say anything but took my boyfriend’s car keys, left and drove away in his car. I don’t know why I didn’t drive myself home, but I just drove around for a couple of hours and then went back, at which time he was ready to leave. Nothing was ever said about it.

Urgh. Men.

😧🤢

One of the joys of being an old bag a more mature , menopausal woman is I now feel able to stand up for myself and other women without giving much of a shit about the aftermath.

I once had a man pull my boob tube down in the middle of a packed pub and exposed my breasts. I didn’t think of it as sexual assault at the time (I was 17) but I guess it was really.

Yes. It was!