Neighbour embarrassment!

Maybe give her a chance! I remember DS1 came home from school with a handwritten note in his bag from the mum of a new boy in his class. She said she noticed her son mentioning mine quite a lot and perhaps DS1 could come round some day after school. It was a bit unusual in that I had never had this type of thing happen before and I was a bit reluctant because I didn’t know her and she was new to the area. After a day or two of trying to decide what on earth to say, I contacted her and said that sounded like a great idea and perhaps we could have a chat about it in person. She identified herself to me at pick up and told me where she lived and we got along really well (which is unusual for me as I’m a bit of an oddball!) The play date was arranged and all was well. They’re still friends ten years later. But it took me a while to decide how to respond at the time. Some people just like to sit with information for a while before they do anything. I’m one of those people.

There could be an illness in the family, they could be dealing with bereavement, they could have just lost their job and be in stress mode, they could have had a bad experience with another neighbour and be nervous, they could have something causing them anxiety, they could have mental health problems - there could be any number of reasons that you don't know about. Yes it would be ideal to respond to you but they could have reasons that mean they have other things dominating their thoughts.

I wouldn’t feel embarrassed and she might get back to you still.
I do find it difficult sometimes because I have had quite a few mums approach me for playdates but I also have some regular play dates and I’m lucky enough to have lots and lots of mum friends I’m always trying to find time in the diary for so I always do my best but I do sometimes have to just give vague responses until they don’t try anymore

How incredibly sad these replies are.. 30 years ago I met a lady across the green with children the same age .. it became a life long friendship way beyond our kids .. who see each other , stay with each other .. live each other .. and she is amazing. Stop being so closed and take a chance. !!

We had our neighbours over for a playdate and coffee about 6 months ago, the kids got on really well. We didn't hear from them afterwards or get invited back.... at least you've been rejected before she's got to know you!

I agree many of the replies are depressing — but I don’t think they’re indicative of the world at large, just how misanthropic Mn has become. It’s only a couple of days since the OP left her neighbour a note. Plenty of time for her to get in touch about a play date.

Its been a few days! Most people struggle to get back to messages from friends in the week (im understanding to all my friends if they are a few days late replying in the week). Im sure she will reply back at some point. Perhaps they were busy working, keeping on top of everything else in life. Perhaps they took the note just to be a polite ‘hello and lets arrange a playdate at some point’. May not necessarily have thought a reply back was necessary.

They may also just not be keen for any number of reasons (bad experience with prevous neighbours etc). Op sounds friendly and im sure wont struggle to make friends with other Mums.

I wouldn’t take it personally, you’ve left a note saying to message if she wants a play date so maybe she will message when she does want one which may not be right now. If I got this note through my door my heart would sink, I really don’t want to be anything more to my neighbours than a polite hello, don’t want their numbers, don’t want them to have mine and don’t want to have to develop some sort of friendship with them and have their kids in my house so it could easily be a case of not everyone’s the same it doesn’t need to be awkward

Agree 👍

She is probably busy and hasn’t had the time to sit down and send you a message yet. That would most likely be the case with me. Or she might just not want to meet up, which again is fine- some people just want to keep themselves to themselves. And actually she might just not think she would connect with you. I can tell from a small interaction if I’m going to connect with the person and I wouldn’t bother if I didn’t think we would get along.

I could well be in the situation of receiving a card through my letter box and it been unseen for a day or two. We get a lot of advertising bumph and those clothing bags pushed through so it could easily get scooped up in that before being seen. I would be very happy to receive the invitation though. I am not a MN who hates the idea of mixing with other humans and will actually answer the phone without being forewarned by text.

To be fair, she may have already had the ‘Hide my caller ID’ setting on. Every time I turn mine on, I totally forget it’s on and freak people out by calling withheld without realising

@FriendlygingercatJesus! There was no need to be so cold towards the poor woman, she was just being friendly! With respect, you’re not the Princess of Wales, she’s not going to sign you up to be a member of the Liberal Democrat’s or for porn texts, she’s just trying to make friends!
All my neighbours have my number & vice versa as if my house is one day on fire, they can let me know as I would them.

I am truly stunned at how vicious you were towards that poor lady, I expect she was in tears when she got home after that altercation.