Neighbour embarrassment!

@FriendlygingercatJesus! There was no need to be so cold towards the poor woman, she was just being friendly! With respect, you’re not the Princess of Wales, she’s not going to sign you up to be a member of the Liberal Democrat’s or for porn texts, she’s just trying to make friends!
All my neighbours have my number & vice versa as if my house is one day on fire, they can let me know as I would them.

I am truly stunned at how vicious you were towards that poor lady, I expect she was in tears when she got home after that altercation.

To be fair, she may have already had the ‘Hide my caller ID’ setting on. Every time I turn mine on, I totally forget it’s on and freak people out by calling withheld without realising

I could well be in the situation of receiving a card through my letter box and it been unseen for a day or two. We get a lot of advertising bumph and those clothing bags pushed through so it could easily get scooped up in that before being seen. I would be very happy to receive the invitation though. I am not a MN who hates the idea of mixing with other humans and will actually answer the phone without being forewarned by text.

She is probably busy and hasn’t had the time to sit down and send you a message yet. That would most likely be the case with me. Or she might just not want to meet up, which again is fine- some people just want to keep themselves to themselves. And actually she might just not think she would connect with you. I can tell from a small interaction if I’m going to connect with the person and I wouldn’t bother if I didn’t think we would get along.

Agree 👍

I wouldn’t take it personally, you’ve left a note saying to message if she wants a play date so maybe she will message when she does want one which may not be right now. If I got this note through my door my heart would sink, I really don’t want to be anything more to my neighbours than a polite hello, don’t want their numbers, don’t want them to have mine and don’t want to have to develop some sort of friendship with them and have their kids in my house so it could easily be a case of not everyone’s the same it doesn’t need to be awkward

Its been a few days! Most people struggle to get back to messages from friends in the week (im understanding to all my friends if they are a few days late replying in the week). Im sure she will reply back at some point. Perhaps they were busy working, keeping on top of everything else in life. Perhaps they took the note just to be a polite ‘hello and lets arrange a playdate at some point’. May not necessarily have thought a reply back was necessary.

They may also just not be keen for any number of reasons (bad experience with prevous neighbours etc). Op sounds friendly and im sure wont struggle to make friends with other Mums.

I agree many of the replies are depressing — but I don’t think they’re indicative of the world at large, just how misanthropic Mn has become. It’s only a couple of days since the OP left her neighbour a note. Plenty of time for her to get in touch about a play date.

We had our neighbours over for a playdate and coffee about 6 months ago, the kids got on really well. We didn't hear from them afterwards or get invited back.... at least you've been rejected before she's got to know you!

How incredibly sad these replies are.. 30 years ago I met a lady across the green with children the same age .. it became a life long friendship way beyond our kids .. who see each other , stay with each other .. live each other .. and she is amazing. Stop being so closed and take a chance. !!

I wouldn’t feel embarrassed and she might get back to you still.
I do find it difficult sometimes because I have had quite a few mums approach me for playdates but I also have some regular play dates and I’m lucky enough to have lots and lots of mum friends I’m always trying to find time in the diary for so I always do my best but I do sometimes have to just give vague responses until they don’t try anymore

There could be an illness in the family, they could be dealing with bereavement, they could have just lost their job and be in stress mode, they could have had a bad experience with another neighbour and be nervous, they could have something causing them anxiety, they could have mental health problems - there could be any number of reasons that you don't know about. Yes it would be ideal to respond to you but they could have reasons that mean they have other things dominating their thoughts.

Maybe give her a chance! I remember DS1 came home from school with a handwritten note in his bag from the mum of a new boy in his class. She said she noticed her son mentioning mine quite a lot and perhaps DS1 could come round some day after school. It was a bit unusual in that I had never had this type of thing happen before and I was a bit reluctant because I didn’t know her and she was new to the area. After a day or two of trying to decide what on earth to say, I contacted her and said that sounded like a great idea and perhaps we could have a chat about it in person. She identified herself to me at pick up and told me where she lived and we got along really well (which is unusual for me as I’m a bit of an oddball!) The play date was arranged and all was well. They’re still friends ten years later. But it took me a while to decide how to respond at the time. Some people just like to sit with information for a while before they do anything. I’m one of those people.

Mortified?! That's extremely OTT.

They're not going anywhere and neither are you. Why is it so urgent that they respond and arrange a playdate?

Even if they don't respond at all you'll bump into them again. They've got busy lives. They might not be at home.

When you see them next just verbally mention you're inviting round for tea, ask them to suggest a day. If they um and ah about it don't be offended. It might happen at some point.

They clearly don't hate you or think bad of you. They don't know you! Whatever happens all you've done is be friendly and there's nothing whatsoever wrong with that.

Why on earth are you embarrassed and mortified? I would assume she just hasn't wanted a playdate in the last 2 days! No more, no less. If she doesn't get back in touch she may be one of these strange people on MN who regard any polite interaction from a neighbour as a personal affront. Or she may be very shy or very busy.

It was nice of you to put a note through but busy parents = expect a playdate possibly within the next year.

If they both work, most people have busy weekends, see family and friends etc, they might not have any free time and playdate with a neighbour they met once is going to be bottom of the list. They may also think you are just being neighbourly and welcoming them to the road.

If nothing has been arranged within a few months, i’d take it as a not interested.

It’s like the party invite that comes home from school…you pop it on the fridge with the intention of messaging them back, forgetting to message them back then like 3 days before the party remember to message them 😂😂

Give them a little time. Life is busy with a toddler as you know. Don’t make it weird as they will likely be at school together

I'd be worried about what the other kids would be like. My DS9 goes to school quite a way from where we live so has no school friends close so has made "friends" who live in our street and the one behind. I have spend his entire 9yrs on earth preaching good manners and respect in to him and I would honestly trust him to go anywhere and not forget this but the kids he has made friends with are feral, honestly they are like 1 step removed from animals and are no longer allowed in my house and one he isn't even allowed to play with anymore.

I don't think you've done anything to be mortified by. What you did was fine.
It's also fine for the other mum to not reply. Maybe she's not interested, or she's got other stuff going on right now and replying to you isn't a priority. Either way, no biggie.

After 48 hours?
You're easily mortified

Somehow I doubt OP is going to return..

sorry but she knocked on your door for Halloween
she probably isn't interested in your offer and you can be mortified about it
but you have to respect that.
She doesn't have to at all.
and if she doesn't want to that is up to her.
I would accept it and move on and would not bother her about it in the future either.
If she wants to she knows where you live she would have suggested it herself.
I think you need to let this go and focus on finding some other people who are interested in play dates with your kids and you. If you would like that.

Ive had similar to this a few times. Its because the parent is looking for childcare in the week. I had one where the mother got in touch when my child had recently started at the school and said oh my child hasn't stopped talking about yours, wouldn't it be lovely for them to have a play date. I agreed and then she messaged me and said it will have to be your house as we are having building work done at the moment and have just moved house. We had the one play date on an afternoon after school where the mother came to pick up after work (I was also trying to work from home) and then a week later the kid had a party an didnt invite mine as 'my mum said i can only invite close friends and im not close enough to you'. That was the last of the playdates.

thank you! If I got such a note I'd make a note of the number but wouldn't realise I was supposed to respond instantaneously - I'd assume it was to be used when and if (as you literally said) I wanted to set up a play date, which would be unlikely to be that very weekend.

Thank you 👍.
That's actually hilarious 🤭.