Neighbour embarrassment!

Christ that’s cold.

I’m friendly or at least civil with all my neighbours, why wouldn’t you be? I picked up my elderly neighbour after she had a fall. The kids go round there if they’re locked out. We swap garden veges. One neighbour cut a tree down for me. We’re not in each others pockets, we’re all just normal people and it’s nice knowing that if something goes pear shaped, they’re there.

This is exactly what I think! Two days is nothing. Most people have lots going on with work and children. Just be patient. No need for you to feel mortified either, just give it time.

100% agree

Maybe she doesn’t want neighbour friends and I don’t blame her. She’s well within her rights to ignore your request if it isn’t something she wants. It’s fine you gave your number to her and it’s fine she’d ignored it. She doesn’t have to reply to make you feel better.

Me neither, really. I mean I get it but I don’t think the woman set up this big ‘fuck-you’ plan à la Amanda from Motherland. People don’t act like that IRL. Her number happened to show up as private, big deal.

I still think OP has absolutely nothing to be mortified or embarrassed about.
Sometimes people do have bad experiences with neighbours overstepping and taking complete liberties, though and it teaches you that unless the neighbours get evicted/move then life can suddenly become very stressful and you have nowhere to go to get away from the situation you’ve found yourself in. I know myself that some people can be the cheekiest of fuckers. It makes you wary.
However most people in life are normal and their interactions are driven by the usual reasons: bit busy, will call you when settled, etc

She doesn’t really know you. And maybe thinks you want to be round her house a lot. Or chatting a lot. And she wants to avoid that.

It was too much too soon.

I got that it was a kind of dis from the pp comments but I'm not understanding the private part 🫣 . Is it meant to imply a withheld number?

You are expecting too much from a woman who is basically a stranger to you. You don't know anything about her so expecting her ideas to align with yours is too much. She might be really busy or just not interested and feels you've put her on the spot because there's no nice way of saying no to your playdate. Forget about it for now and if she responds, then it's a bonus.

Yes she withheld it so that poster didn’t get her number.
the balls on her!
OP you need to chill.

When my niece was young she had a habit of making off with anything that came through the door, until one day my sister spotted her taking a letter, and 'posting' it between the crack in the floorboards. She asked her if she'd done it before and she admitted she had, so my sister ended up having to pull up the floor boards where she'd 'posted' the letter, only to find that not only was her gas bill there, but also a RED reminder!! Thankfully the red bill had only been in there a couple of days, so she was able to sort it out, but my niece got a very firm talking to, and my sister ended up buying one of those basket things that attach to the door to stop dogs getting the post and shredding it.

So, as other posters have said OP, your neighbour may not even have seen the note, or she may simply have been too busy to respond yet.

Maybe she does like to keep her neighbours at arm’s length. That would make sense except she came and knocked on your door on Halloween. I guess you were only required as a “prop” as part of their evenings entertainment.

It's only Saturday and they've just moved in, give them a chance to reply.

I wouldn't be embarrassed at all.
Perhaps she is busy and will get back to you in a week when she has time.

I would be very cautious though with neighbours, I like my privacy.

If she does you could offer to watch them play on the green, and see how it goes.

Thank you 👍.
That's actually hilarious 🤭.

thank you! If I got such a note I'd make a note of the number but wouldn't realise I was supposed to respond instantaneously - I'd assume it was to be used when and if (as you literally said) I wanted to set up a play date, which would be unlikely to be that very weekend.

Ive had similar to this a few times. Its because the parent is looking for childcare in the week. I had one where the mother got in touch when my child had recently started at the school and said oh my child hasn't stopped talking about yours, wouldn't it be lovely for them to have a play date. I agreed and then she messaged me and said it will have to be your house as we are having building work done at the moment and have just moved house. We had the one play date on an afternoon after school where the mother came to pick up after work (I was also trying to work from home) and then a week later the kid had a party an didnt invite mine as 'my mum said i can only invite close friends and im not close enough to you'. That was the last of the playdates.

sorry but she knocked on your door for Halloween
she probably isn't interested in your offer and you can be mortified about it
but you have to respect that.
She doesn't have to at all.
and if she doesn't want to that is up to her.
I would accept it and move on and would not bother her about it in the future either.
If she wants to she knows where you live she would have suggested it herself.
I think you need to let this go and focus on finding some other people who are interested in play dates with your kids and you. If you would like that.

Somehow I doubt OP is going to return..

After 48 hours?
You're easily mortified

I don't think you've done anything to be mortified by. What you did was fine.
It's also fine for the other mum to not reply. Maybe she's not interested, or she's got other stuff going on right now and replying to you isn't a priority. Either way, no biggie.

I'd be worried about what the other kids would be like. My DS9 goes to school quite a way from where we live so has no school friends close so has made "friends" who live in our street and the one behind. I have spend his entire 9yrs on earth preaching good manners and respect in to him and I would honestly trust him to go anywhere and not forget this but the kids he has made friends with are feral, honestly they are like 1 step removed from animals and are no longer allowed in my house and one he isn't even allowed to play with anymore.

It’s like the party invite that comes home from school…you pop it on the fridge with the intention of messaging them back, forgetting to message them back then like 3 days before the party remember to message them 😂😂

Give them a little time. Life is busy with a toddler as you know. Don’t make it weird as they will likely be at school together

It was nice of you to put a note through but busy parents = expect a playdate possibly within the next year.

If they both work, most people have busy weekends, see family and friends etc, they might not have any free time and playdate with a neighbour they met once is going to be bottom of the list. They may also think you are just being neighbourly and welcoming them to the road.

If nothing has been arranged within a few months, i’d take it as a not interested.

Why on earth are you embarrassed and mortified? I would assume she just hasn't wanted a playdate in the last 2 days! No more, no less. If she doesn't get back in touch she may be one of these strange people on MN who regard any polite interaction from a neighbour as a personal affront. Or she may be very shy or very busy.

Mortified?! That's extremely OTT.

They're not going anywhere and neither are you. Why is it so urgent that they respond and arrange a playdate?

Even if they don't respond at all you'll bump into them again. They've got busy lives. They might not be at home.

When you see them next just verbally mention you're inviting round for tea, ask them to suggest a day. If they um and ah about it don't be offended. It might happen at some point.

They clearly don't hate you or think bad of you. They don't know you! Whatever happens all you've done is be friendly and there's nothing whatsoever wrong with that.