It's the classic "DD15 threw an out of control party while I was on holiday" thread. AIBU to be this upset/angry?

You cant trust her. In future when you away and shes stay at her dad's id take away her house key. Id also check with her friends parents if she says she's going to a friend's. Maybe put a find my phone or location sharing on her phone.

Realistically. This could all have been much worse. She was drunk, she was vulnerable she lied so no one knew where she was or who she was with. She needs to understand how vulnerable she was.

Surely this also counts

Both you and I would have had a good slap for it - OP proposed a good chat - that's the problem right there.

and this

she would clean till her knuckles were sore.

and this

Chat" well, I can't say what I would do instead of a chat but it would make her think twice before she ever stuck her head over the parapet again. .... she could sit on a cushion in the car ....

Not to mention the half-dozen posters who advocate selling or burning all her belongings, emptying her room and packing her off to her Dad's for the foreseeable future (one, I believe, even said forever: "one less mouth to feed"). Nope, nothing abusive there!

I really hope you get the medals back x

How does one smash a phone in a non physical way?

And I don’t think your interprets of the second one makes much difference to be honest.

Why are we referencing hitting children at all? And why are you leaping to defend it?

I think the main issue here is how she's reacted afterwards. I remember being 16 and inviting friends around whilst my mum and dad went away. Worst that happened was a bottle of beer spilt on carpet and burn patch on grass from disposable BBQ..how does a 15 Yr old have a house party this crazy! If it were me if be distraught and apologetic.. she should be grovelling and tidying the house

I hope you get the medals back

I can't believe she's out with friends knowing she wasn't meant to be, it shows that she doesn't have a clue how devastating this is for you, and her brother, I really think she needs to pay for some of this by selling some of her stuff, so she can feel the loss of her valuables and also be cleaning up a lot of the stuff, and not be out having a good time with friends untill this mess is cleaned up, I'm so sorry this has happened to you, it's really horrendous, I wish I couldthink of s omething to say to help you

You will be laughing about it with her mates probably, bill her for damage, take it out of any allowances she gets, start immediately, tell her no more access to the house when you are away, let her figure it out from there, and tell all her mates you billed her, see if she is laughing then, LOL.

I don't advocate physical punishment, or smashing her daughter's stuff or selling it.

But I did suggest sending to stay with her dad for a bit and I still do, because OP has already had a difficult time running up to this event and probably needs headspace. Her daughter's presence in her dad's house might remind him of his parenting respnsibility.

Also, the child would be sent to her other loving parent, not a Gulag. And finally, its ok if her daughter feels a bit shit about all of this. Allowing her time to reflect and feel remorse might actually benefit her life in the long run rather than encourage a reckless life of no accountability.

Omg that’s awful!! I really hope your daughter is feeling guilty and investigating employment options for a 15 year old. I got burgled many years ago and Jewlery was taken and I know the complete devastation. Also just knowing that someone has been through your stuff is so upsetting.

What!?!?! Wow. I am so sorry to hear this. What advice from the police?

I'm not sure thats correct OP...it wouldn't matter whether someone was invited in if they stole a key...who could anticipate that? That would mean any guest could invalidate our insurance OP

Have you checked this?

So sorry to hear this @IllBiteYourLegsOff

YOU certainly didn’t invite them in - as a minor I wonder if your daughter can legally invite them in???

I hope the little bastards get caught, hopefully their parents catch them out and take them to the police - before they become the next car full of idiots to die driving down the motorway the wrong way! I hope you get your things back 😞🤞🏻

I'd be speaking to a solicitor asap and appealing that decision with the insurance company. You were burgled and they should be paying out

So sorry this has happened to you. I hope you get it sorted eventually

Challenge this in terms of the insurance. Ask for case law etc. Say if I was invited in to a neighbour’s house, nicked a key at the time and then burgled them the next day I think they’d be insured. Also what about cleaners etc who have keys? I think the insurance company might be on shaky ground.

Do you get legal cover under the insurance policy or any other policy?

I feel so badly for you, check the exact wording on your policy and definitely report to the police. Try again with the insurers as you did take care to prevent this and the dishonesty of others beyond your control (daughter, trespass at her party) caused the problem

Sorry to sound like a broken record but try the consumer pages in the newspapers to add extra lean into the insurance companies 🍀

I had a little look and apparently lots of insurers demand a "forced entry" to pay out ...it is scandalous though in these circmstances ...I'd be contacting the press office and naming them on MN if I didn't get a little kindness

Also, if your daughter didn’t know them, how was she supposed to have invited them in? This whole shit-show came about because of people she didn’t invite coming to the party.

So sorry. Maybe you neighbours have doorbells that have recorded the little . Fingers crossed they can be caught.

You need to be a lot more robust challenging the insurance, don"t be fobbed off, DD needs to be told no more money for anything, get a job, and no more house key if you are away, ever. To be fair to her there are probably loads of people who look for SM posts advertising parties and go with the intention of robbing the house.

I think her dad is to blame. She staying with him and he was was responsible for knowing where she is and what she is doing. I something similar at her age but not as bad. I had to pay for all the damage and kept away for a few nights as my dad was so angry. I only truly appreciate it now I am older and have my own home.

Nothing useful to add above what previous posters have said re insurance, except im so very sorry. Just heartbreaking to lose sentimental items(aside £ worth)

Check prawbrokers, cash convertors, ebay, etsy etc.
Im so upset for you😔