To not want to work?

Yanbu. I didn't work until ds was 8y. I work PT now out of choice. I'm lucky that I have GP childcare so I don't have to put ds into wraparound clubs, and it's pretty easy to cover holidays as I can WFH as and when I need to. I have no need or desire to go full time, and I think half the reason I enjoy my job is because I don't have to be there iykwim. We don't need my money, dh still covers all our expenses, and he'd be fine with me not working if I didn't want to. If your dh is on board with it and it won't hurt you financially, go for it.

I would not give up work. It is tough, but you never know what is around the corner. Something could happen to your DH and you would have to step in to provide. It is really difficult to get back to a good job after a long break.
It will give you much better prospectives when the children are in school.
But, if you really really can afford it and have secure finances, then why not? It all depends on your circumstances.

She hasn’t. There has been several.

Not imagined!
This is the 3rd thread I’ve seen about EXACTLY the same thing.
I’ve commented on the first 2 and I’d remember them because I’m a dental nurse too

How will the family finances be split? Will you have access to funds?

If your partner is completely on board with you being a stay at home parent and compensating you as such the maybe it's something to consider. Also how stable is your relationship?

I would be cautious though if he intends to control the money. Doesn't see saving for your future as valid. Or if you relationship is not stable.

It’s hard isn’t it OP, I earn decent money PT but long to be home with my youngest. I just don’t have the same drive and motivation I did prior to kids and I love being at home and being a Mum.

I have overcome the fear of regret and losing my place in my career and allowed myself to SAH. My DH is fine with it but I hate the thought of losing my independence. We share all our finances too and share the same values on spending.

Have you got a plan B if hubby pulls rug from under you. Yes yes, would never happen til it does.

do you have pension savings? Equity in house? Savings of your own?

"I'm coming home crying, and suffering from migraines which I haven't for years"

Sounds like you're burned out OP. Have some time off and a think about what you'd like to do long term. You have income and savings.

I would stick to working on the basis it is hard to find part time jobs and it's not good to be 100% reliant on a man

Honestly if it's making you feel that bad and you're in a good financial situation you should give up work. Life's too short and children grow up quickly. You could maybe have a think about retraining for something you'd enjoy more once the DC are school.

I will give up my work if I have a lot of money in my name. I am only working because iif I don’t I can’t see how I can live comfortably in my retirement. My DC is much older but when they were young I don’t take them to toddler groups that involve me doing things. They did ballet and gymnastics. But I just sit outside and read my book or chat to other mums.

I can’t see why that’s exhausting. I have a job that has responsibilities but it doesn’t always stress me out.

are you happy with DH OP
secure, solid, supportive and loving marriage?

Is there an option to increase the nursery hours so you keep your job and have an extra day to get all the jobs around the house done? I’d do that and also increase your pension contributions as much as possible, no matter how stable your marriage is you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position having such a low pension pot. If DH earns a huge amount more than you he should really be contributing to your pension IMO.

How many people actually want to work?

I want to work. I love working and can’t imagine stopping.

Not commenting on OP’s situation but if people always present the idea that women aren’t really suited to work then nothing will ever change.

I do find it incredibly irritating that people still persist in suggesting that work is something that women only do to make a feminist point as opposed to because we want to do it or need to do it. It’s so patronising.

I think if you're in a position to give up work just now and there's no future prospects in your profession then do it and use the time to retrain in something for your future, or maybe a move within the industry like practice management or clinical administrator.

It sounds like this is what you want to do so do it!

You can always go back to work when the kids are older.

I think it is so unrealistic these days to expect women to do everything. Do what is best for you and enjoy your time with your kids.

Also maybe use this time to think about whether you want to retrain in something that will give you more flexible working opportunities when you are ready to go back to work.

I would. I understand the impact on your career and pension etc. but I also think life is short. Not being doom and gloom but we never know how much time we have. As I have sadly learned this week Parents can die young and tragically so can children. Make the most if any time you have in the here and now. Enjoy your children it really is priceless. 😊

I find I'm spending my days off doing housework and just not having the energy to take DC to toddler groups etc.

It really baffles me that you only work 2 days a week and feel this way, unless there are physical or mental health issues. I’d look at changing jobs.

Yes me too. I swear there was a thread a couple weeks ago by someone asking exact same questions with same aged DC and revealing in the same way down the thread about being a dental nurse. It’s hard to search for because thread title is fairly generic

Not to rain on your parade OP but life does happen whether you want to admit it or not. You could split up, he could die suddenly and where would any of that leave you?

This. Obviously some brag post. Op's job is pocket money. All her bills are taken care of. Her dh is telling her to leave work and he is fine with it. She has savings, and dh offers her his card all the time. Yet she has such a 'dilemma'

Well, you have a decent amount in savings so in your situation it's about keeping a pension ticking over isn't it?

You sound like you have a job rather than a career, so you can always go back to it.

No point you or your children missing out on experiences now if you don't need the money.

i don’t regard a dental nurse job as “bragging”

You will never regret spending time with the children when they’re young. Do it. Quit.

It's very common for dental nurses and veterinary nurses to have to give up once they have children due to the appallingly poor pay in these professions (and unsociable hours in the latter).
It's why you'll often only see young women in these roles. They're only viable careers if you have a partner who earns decent money. Even then once children come along the costs of childcare usually outweigh the salary in these professions, as is often the case in mainly female professions. So not really unusual to see a few threads on the same topic.