To not want to work?

room ……..real life

So you’d have equal access to the money your DH earns or you already do? I’d give up work if I could I afford it and didn't enjoy my job but only if I had equal access to the money coming into the home

Well you are working very little as things stand. If you can’t even manage those hours, maybe it really is not for you.

I would not give up and depend on my partner or the benefits system in a million years. And of course this all contributes on a wider level to the gender pay gap. but most people on here will encourage you to join the hordes of women who stop working after having kids. And I am sure your husband will love having you at home, doing all the housework and cooking!

Do it if you and DH are in agreement
The small DC years go so quickly and you can always plan to return in 2026
Nobody can predict divorce so I wouldn't even take that into account personally!
Life is all about balance, and tomorrow isn't promised

No I wouldn't do it . Find a job you enjoy and have some financial independence from your husband .
Things may not be rosy forever and you'll be glad not to be a statistic of these women who cannot afford to leave a bad marriage because they have no money of their own .

When I was younger, I thought working was everything. Not the career aspects as such, but the financial independence/equality. I'll admit it meant I was in a good position when my marriage ended, but I am now so tired after trying to have it all, which was kind of the message I had growing up. My child is about to go to uni and I do regret all the working I did, I had my priorities wrong in hindsight. I'm now looking at how to get much better balance in my life and it's hard, I'm so used to being my own only source of security.

In your position, on reflection and the hindsight of age, I wouldn't hesitate to take any opportunity not to work.

It’s really up to you, you can always quit then find another job if you change your mind down the line.

It wouldn't be for me, but if you go down this road at least make sure your DH pays into a proper pension for you.
Remember, statistically you will be the one left with the DC in the event of a split. Always plan for worst case scenario.

What is it you do?

If you do give up work I’d suggest doing the odd course / piece of CPD / volunteering to keep your CV up to date (or even retrain completely if you hate what you’re doing and can afford to). You never know when you might have to go back out to work again (relationships fail, but also what if your DH loses his job?)

Not all women earn less than men but yes there is a Gender Pay Gap....but why do you think that is?

I'd love to not work.

I am disabled, crippling RA. And working FT kills me. I work, do housework, rest. Thats it. Never feel up to doing anything outside of work

I think if you are missing out on things and have the option not to, then stop. I've not worked for a while and it does get harder to imagine yourself working the longer you don't, which is something to bear in mind. I agree with your posts that seeing your kids growing up and being able to do things without external stress adding to the load of motherhood is something I recognised. If a lot of mothers were honest I think they'd do the same if they could (not all obviously). See it as a short term plan though, is my advice. Maybe until kids are in secondary.

If it’s making you miserable and you can afford it then leave. I don’t know how many other people feel this way about their jobs? Most people would rather not work.

however I would actively start looking for something else. As you say you work for your mental health. Having a job is many things, not just money and at the moment you only work 2 days - you still get 5 off with your dc. That would be considered a luxury for many.

What industry are you in op?

Well, it sounds like you just cba to work.

Fair enough. But just be upfront about it instead of seeking validation on MN.

I stopped and became a SAHP. I love it, it was the best thing I ever did. I'm sure you'll get loads of people on here berating you for it though.
Me and DH have always had completely joint bank accounts though. I wouldn't do it if you are going to have to ask for money/the bank card.

But you're only working 2 days a week? You're not exactly burning the midnight oil are you?

if you don't want/need to work, don't - but this is nothing to do with the fleeting moments of childhood, or stress management. You just don't want to work. And that's fine (I don't get it myself but that's not the point.)

Completely up to you and your partner, but bear in mind you can't claim tax-free childcare or 15/30 funded hours (only 15 universal funded hours after 3yo) if you're not both working 15 hours a week at minimum wage at the least. So may be a choice of being either a full time SAHM or accepting higher costs of childcare. I personally think looking after children full time is much harder than going out to work (obviously dependent on different jobs) but that's just me!

If you wanted to work, the likes of McDonalds you can tell them your availability and they'll only rota to that. My DC works there and is only available 2 days a week midweek and they rota to that.